(no subject)
Title: Whose Boyfriend is he Anyway?
Paring: Ryan/Colin and a bit of Greg/Drew
Rating: PG
Summary: Ryan Stiles incites many different feelings among his fellow cast members...
This was another product of mine and krzcowzgomoo's combined minds. See what happens when we get together! lol
"You know, I think I'd be okay with it."
"With what?" Ryan was curious to what his friend was talking about.
"Cheating on Deb," he paused for a second to consider himself, "But it'd have to be with someone I really loved and cared about."
"What? Where did that come from?", Ryan sounded almost incredulous.
"I thought you of all people would get it."
"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Colin knew he probably shouldn't have said anything. Just because everyone knew about Greg and Ryan's tumultuous affair didn't mean either was okay with it being brought up, especially since it meant they were cheating on their wives.
Colin was sick of it though, it really wasn't fair. Greg said horrible things to Ryan when they fought and then in a matter of days Ryan was all over him again. Colin and he had never fought, never exchanged cruel words, they've even told each other on numerous occasions that they love the other, but Ryan still looked at him as a friend.
"Nothing....so, how's Greg?"
Ryan quickly stood from his chair, sending it flying backwards, and stalked the scant foot of room to Colin. He was standing over him and was about to let loose possibly the only curse words ever uttered in Colin's direction with out it being a joke, when Greg himself strolled into the room.
"Hey, boys, what's going on?" Greg's tone was very casual, but he was jittery and couldn't stand still, like he was nervous about something. Trouble in paradise, perhaps? Colin could only hope.
"Don't you talk to me!" To Colin's surprise, and delight, Ryan yelled at Greg, "Not after what you did last night!"
Even if their relationship wasn't Colin's favorite thing in the world, it still had it's ups. Like when they were in one of their arguing bouts. Ryan would spend his time with Colin, instead of Greg. So what if it didn't mean anything? At least Ryan was spending his time with Colin, and not Greg.
"Listen, Ryan, I want to apologize! I really didn't mean to-"
"No! Just get out! I can't talk about it now." Ryan waved Greg off and sank into the couch, head in his hands.
Greg walked out of the room in a daze, and Colin went to comfort his friend.
"Hey, are you alright?" Colin kept his voice soft, not wanting himself to sound hopeful for anything.
"I guess.I'm sorry I jumped on you like that. You didn't know about us then, I shouldn't have done that." Ryan sighed and looked over at Colin.
"It's okay, Ryan. I can see you're distressed. It must have been bad this time." This may be it!, Colin's mind was yelling at him.
"Yea, you have no idea. I don't know if we can put things back together after this one."
"You always say that, and everything always ends up alright."
Colin hated those words. Everything's going to be alright, everything will work out. They always meant heartbreak for him, and he wasn't sure how much more he could take.
Ryan shook his head, "No, not this time. It was awful."
Colin slid his arm around Ryan's waist, "Do you want to tell me about it?"
"Well," Ryan wrapped his friend in a tight hug, "I guess I should get this off my chest."
"Go ahead. You know Im always right here."
"Last night Greg and I were, well you know."
Colin had to hold back a groan of disdain after hearing Ryan start the story like that.
"And he called out someone else's name."
Colin was truly perplexed. Sure that was pretty bad, but it was forgivable, especially with the kind of relationship Ryan and Greg had, especially for the kind of people that Ryan and Greg were. He looked up at the taller man in his arms and started slowly, carefully.
"Why does that upset you so much?"
Ryan looked at his best friend and confidant of nearly 30 years, knowing he could never successfully lie to him. He tried anyway.
"Because that's not right. I know we don't have a conventional relationship, but when we're together we should be thinking about each other."
Ryan could choke on the amount of hypocrisy in that statement. As Colin's face turned to well hidden, but still detectable if by only Ryan, disbelief he immediately regretted the stab at a lie.
"Oh really?",Colin said tilting his head ever so slightly, in the way that Ryan would never admit he found so endearing.
"Yes", Ryan replied, as his eyes darted to the right and he swallowed hard.
Gotcha! Colin thought.
"So, um whose name did he say?"
Ryan blinked. He didn't think this was the route Colin was going to take, but he indulged him.
"Drew's"
"Oh. I see why you're upset by it now."
Now Ryan was even more confused, Colin, on the other hand, seemed completely in control, as he always did. Ryan stared at Colin in response.
"You have such a thing for Drew, that it infuriates you that Greg would call his name."
"What!?", was all Ryan could manage at the insinuation.
"Oh come on. I see how you look at him when he laughs and how you love to play with his head during Foreign Film Dub!"
"Col, I assure you that is not it at all!"
"Then tell me what is? I know you. You wouldn't be this disturbed if something wasn't underlying."
"Nothing is underlying!"
"Then it must be Drew. I think it's sweet---"
"Do you really want to know why?", Ryan interrupted, in a exasperated yell.
He looked as though he was on the verge of tears, which stopped Colin's playful plan of attack in it's tracks. Something was really wrong this time. It wasn't just some stupid tift.
"It's because I've called your name before!"
Colin looked at his shaking friend, speechless. He slid down the couch, making sure there was an ample amount of room between him and his friend.
"You, uh, you... really? I mean, uh, fuck." Colin put his head in his hands, slightly taken aback.
Ryan chuckled nervously, the first time he'd ever been nervous around Colin, and put a hand on his friend's shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you like that. I probably shouldn't have even said anything." He sounded solemn and after a tiny unsure hug, moved away.
"No, Ryan. It's okay, I was just..uh, surprised? Would that work, yea, surprised." Colin was mentally kicking himself for letting the slightest bit of hope slip from his mouth.
"Col, are you saying...what? What are you saying?" Ryan slid closer to Colin, quickly filling the gap between them, until their thighs were touching.
"Ryan...I just... nothing." For the first time ever, Colin blatantly lied to his best friend.
"I don't think so." Ryan could always see through Colin like a window.
"Tell me Colin, I don't bite," He paused, "unless you want me to."
Colin snapped his head up to fit the younger man with a look of shock. Ryan chuckled slightly, and pulled his friend into another tight hug.
"Ryan." The name was said as acknowledgment; acknowledgment of what was being left unsaid in this conversation.
Ryan had pulled away, and was staring into Colin's eyes. Those eyes had always reminded him of a beagle puppy: cute and irresistible, the eyes you could never say no to.
"So, you want me to?" Ryan teased. Colin smiled and leaned closer. They slowly came nearer, and nearer. Until a frantic knocking at the door interrupted them.
Colin turned slowly to see a distraught-looking Drew pacing just outside of the doorway.
"Uh, sorry to interrupt guys, but I need to talk to you."
Ryan stood to go to his co-star and boss, but Drew stopped him.
"Um, I think Colin would be more suited for this one"
Ryan nodded. He understood that some things Colin was better at, it was probably a finance question. Colin was good at math. Colin smiled despite the fact that he desperately wanted to be back with Ryan, and followed Drew into the hallway, lightly closing the door behind him.
"So, Drew. What can I do for you?"
"What do you think of this?", Drew said, handing Colin a piece of folded stationary paper.
Colin unfolded the gold-edged paper and read the flowing, oddly neat script that he recognized as Greg's.
Drew,
Love can bring people together, or it can tear them apart. Right now love is tearing me apart, but I want it to bring us together. I've wanted you for the longest time. I may be out of line, but I have to take that chance. I can't keep quiet anymore, I love you. Every passing touch you give me leaves me floating all day, and when you smile the whole world goes away. I know the timing isn't right, but I have to know if you feel the same. Meet me at Kay's Pub (where we 1st meet if you remember...) after the taping. I'll be waiting.
Forever Yours in Mind,Body,and Soul,
Gregory E. Proops
Colin stood with his jaw on the floor. It was hard to believe that such a heartfelt plea came from Greg. No wonder Drew hadn't wanted Ryan's help with this.
"Whoa."
"Exactly my sentiments. What should I do?"
"Do you feel the same?"
"No! Maybe, ... I dunno."He paused.
"How did you know you had feelings for Ryan?"
Drew was the only one who knew about his attraction to Ryan. They had been on the set of The Drew Carey Show, Colin was waiting for Ryan to come out of his dressing room after a show. It had been one of the episodes in which Ryan was stark naked. Drew was goofing on him and made a sarcastic remark about what a "hot body" Ryan had, Colin agreed, also jokingly, but there must have been something in his eyes because Drew had asked, quite seriously now, if he meant it. And Colin said yeah.
Next thing he knew the whole story was out on the table. How he could pin point the day he fell for him, about how much Ryan's relationship with Greg hurt him, and how scared he was it would ruin their friendship if he said anything. It was amazing how easy it was to open up to Drew.
Colin pondered Drew's question, and came up with an honest answer.
"I realized it when I started to notice everything he did made me smile, and how I found myself thinking about him during the day."
He paused here as he thought about Drew and Greg's interaction.
"And I know you must like Greg. You always try to get his attention and you love it when he gives you his."
Drew let out a long sigh. He shouldn't be lying to himself let alone Colin.
"I do, but I shouldn't. Ryan and Greg they have something, and I don't want to break it up."
Colin was slightly bothered by that. Why did everything have to come back to Greg?
"Greg is the one who sent you the letter, remember? Apparently his feelings for you are stronger than his for Ryan."
Drew still looked unsure.
"Maybe I'll go, but just to talk to him. I really don't want Ryan to get hurt."
"Why would I get hurt?", asked the 6 foot 6 figure now smiling in the open doorway.
"Er, uh, what?" Drew said, sporting the old deer in the headlights face.
Ryan chuckled and placed a hand on his perturbed friend's shoulder.
"Don't worry Drew. I heard you, I heard the situation, and I am just fine." He paused to give Colin a knowing smile.
"Go for it."
"Are you sure Ryan?"
Drew had always cared more about his friends' feeling more than his own, it was a part of his charm, and this was no exception. The taller man nodded and playfully shooed him.
"What did that letter say anyways?" Ryan asked taking it from where it remained in Colin's hands.
Colin stood by idly and watched as Ryan's expression went from amused, to humored, then finally settled on shock.
"Oh. Uh, yeah...." He stammered and looked up at Colin.
"Like, whoa." He quoted the older man from earlier.
"Doesn't seem like Greg, does it?" Colin moved closer to Ryan, settling into his side.
"Not at all. I mean, he never did anything remotely resembling...this..." He paused, and put an arm around Colin, "...when we were...Just, whoa." Ryan finally settled on the only phrase that seemed to fit the situation.
Colin nodded and directed them back into the room. He sank back into the couch, followed by Ryan doing the same.
"Can we just not talk about Greg for awhile?" Ryan put his arm back around Colin, and pulled him closer.
"This has just been so much in such a little time. I just want to forget him for now."
Colin smiled, Ryan had always been able to read his mind, even if he didn't know he was doing it.
"Sounds good."
"Hey, Col?" And before Colin can reply Ryan's lips were against his.
Colin pulled away, smiling slyly, "Yea, Ry?"
“I..”, his voice cracked so he started again, quietly. “I love you.”
“I know that. I love you too.”
Colin knew what Ryan was getting at, but he wanted to hear him say it, wanted to hear how he would word twenty years of feelings. Ryan bit his lower lip and looked down at the ground. His thinking face, Colin thought. Oh, how well he knew that face, and many others, all equally as beautiful in his eyes.
“I heard what you said to Drew...and I guess I’ve known. It’s just that, well...” He paused to look up and grasp Colin’s hand, as if for strength.
“I was scared. Being with Greg was easy, it was a lot of fighting, but it was easier to be with someone who didn’t know what my heart was like.”
“Someone like who?”,Colin asked, despite Ryan’s quavering voice and tear brimmed eyes.
“You, Col. It’s always been you, but I was scared to go after you. Scared that I would only hurt you, and I didn’t want to do that because you love me, not only that, but you actually care about me. Don’t get me wrong what I had with Greg taught me things about myself that I might’ve never found, but I just needed a substitute. That’s why we didn’t work out, because there is no substitute for what I want.”
Now his tears fell, even though he was smiling, they fell, and Colin felt himself begin to cry too. Here Ryan was torturing himself, keeping his emotions bottled up to the point of agony, just to make sure he wouldn’t be hurt. The force of the selflessness of the man before him struck Colin all at once, leaving him with no words.
Colin threw his arms around Ryan and hugged him as close as possible, and feeling Ryan’s arms squeeze back just as tight was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
When they pulled away the tears were long gone, they had just held each other for as long as the other needed. Colin was the first to speak.
“You could never hurt me Ryan. I know you couldn’t.”
Ryan stared back at him, blank faced for a moment, and then a smooth smirk graced his handsome tear dampened face.
“You always tell me what I can’t do.” He paused, suddenly serious as he looped his arms around Colin’s waist.
“Never stop.”
Colin brought his lips to Ryan’s in an austere kiss, reviling in the gentle, familiar touch of Ryan’s fingers brushing the back of his neck.
“As long as we never stop.”
Ryan pressed their lips together in another kiss, this one more passionate, and hungry. Colin let his hands travel up and down Ryan’s magnificent body. Ryan always said that he thought he was a poor specimen of the human form, but he was quite wrong. He had a perfect ass, for a slim man it was pleasing full, and that impossibly sexy curve just under his rib cage.
Not to mention his smooth naturally tan skin and sharp, bedroom, emerald-green eyes. Colin let out a deep throated moan as Ryan’s soft mouth found the spot just behind and under his earlobe. Ryan chuckled as he kissed his way back to Colin’s mouth.
“I’ve always wanted to do that.”
Colin placed his hands on Ryan’s broad shoulders and pushed shoved him back the small sofa, so that he was pinned under him.
“I’ve always wanted to do that.”
He took the younger man’s wrists in his hands and pinned them above his head. He really had always wanted to do that. Sometimes on the set while doing a porno scene, hearing Ryan gasp in mock pleasure, gave him images quite like this.
Colin was about to bring his lips to Ryan’s in a rough kiss, when they were interrupted by a barking laughter coming from the door. They both turned to see a very amused Greg and Drew.
“Me thinks the conversation I came here to have isn’t necessary!”, Greg exclaimed.
Drew just stood with a smile on his face, blushing a little. Seeing Ryan and Colin like this was probably last on his lists of things to see before he died.
“Well play it safe boys!”, he joked. As he turned to leave, he stopped. “Thanks Ryan.”
Ryan, as well as Colin, could only stare at him. Greg smiled a soft smile before he and Drew walked out the door. Colin couldn’t help, but notice that Greg and Drew had been holding hands and by the look on Ryan’s face, he had seen too.
They looked at each other for a moment, Colin still pinning Ryan’s arms, before saying, at the same time, “Awww!”
They were laughing as they continued where they left off. It was nice to be able to do that. It was always like that with Ryan. This was the beginning of something great, something bigger than either one of them. From that moment on it would be them against the world. Just like it had been since the day they meet, Colin thought.
------------------
The End
Paring: Ryan/Colin and a bit of Greg/Drew
Rating: PG
Summary: Ryan Stiles incites many different feelings among his fellow cast members...
This was another product of mine and krzcowzgomoo's combined minds. See what happens when we get together! lol
"You know, I think I'd be okay with it."
"With what?" Ryan was curious to what his friend was talking about.
"Cheating on Deb," he paused for a second to consider himself, "But it'd have to be with someone I really loved and cared about."
"What? Where did that come from?", Ryan sounded almost incredulous.
"I thought you of all people would get it."
"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"
Colin knew he probably shouldn't have said anything. Just because everyone knew about Greg and Ryan's tumultuous affair didn't mean either was okay with it being brought up, especially since it meant they were cheating on their wives.
Colin was sick of it though, it really wasn't fair. Greg said horrible things to Ryan when they fought and then in a matter of days Ryan was all over him again. Colin and he had never fought, never exchanged cruel words, they've even told each other on numerous occasions that they love the other, but Ryan still looked at him as a friend.
"Nothing....so, how's Greg?"
Ryan quickly stood from his chair, sending it flying backwards, and stalked the scant foot of room to Colin. He was standing over him and was about to let loose possibly the only curse words ever uttered in Colin's direction with out it being a joke, when Greg himself strolled into the room.
"Hey, boys, what's going on?" Greg's tone was very casual, but he was jittery and couldn't stand still, like he was nervous about something. Trouble in paradise, perhaps? Colin could only hope.
"Don't you talk to me!" To Colin's surprise, and delight, Ryan yelled at Greg, "Not after what you did last night!"
Even if their relationship wasn't Colin's favorite thing in the world, it still had it's ups. Like when they were in one of their arguing bouts. Ryan would spend his time with Colin, instead of Greg. So what if it didn't mean anything? At least Ryan was spending his time with Colin, and not Greg.
"Listen, Ryan, I want to apologize! I really didn't mean to-"
"No! Just get out! I can't talk about it now." Ryan waved Greg off and sank into the couch, head in his hands.
Greg walked out of the room in a daze, and Colin went to comfort his friend.
"Hey, are you alright?" Colin kept his voice soft, not wanting himself to sound hopeful for anything.
"I guess.I'm sorry I jumped on you like that. You didn't know about us then, I shouldn't have done that." Ryan sighed and looked over at Colin.
"It's okay, Ryan. I can see you're distressed. It must have been bad this time." This may be it!, Colin's mind was yelling at him.
"Yea, you have no idea. I don't know if we can put things back together after this one."
"You always say that, and everything always ends up alright."
Colin hated those words. Everything's going to be alright, everything will work out. They always meant heartbreak for him, and he wasn't sure how much more he could take.
Ryan shook his head, "No, not this time. It was awful."
Colin slid his arm around Ryan's waist, "Do you want to tell me about it?"
"Well," Ryan wrapped his friend in a tight hug, "I guess I should get this off my chest."
"Go ahead. You know Im always right here."
"Last night Greg and I were, well you know."
Colin had to hold back a groan of disdain after hearing Ryan start the story like that.
"And he called out someone else's name."
Colin was truly perplexed. Sure that was pretty bad, but it was forgivable, especially with the kind of relationship Ryan and Greg had, especially for the kind of people that Ryan and Greg were. He looked up at the taller man in his arms and started slowly, carefully.
"Why does that upset you so much?"
Ryan looked at his best friend and confidant of nearly 30 years, knowing he could never successfully lie to him. He tried anyway.
"Because that's not right. I know we don't have a conventional relationship, but when we're together we should be thinking about each other."
Ryan could choke on the amount of hypocrisy in that statement. As Colin's face turned to well hidden, but still detectable if by only Ryan, disbelief he immediately regretted the stab at a lie.
"Oh really?",Colin said tilting his head ever so slightly, in the way that Ryan would never admit he found so endearing.
"Yes", Ryan replied, as his eyes darted to the right and he swallowed hard.
Gotcha! Colin thought.
"So, um whose name did he say?"
Ryan blinked. He didn't think this was the route Colin was going to take, but he indulged him.
"Drew's"
"Oh. I see why you're upset by it now."
Now Ryan was even more confused, Colin, on the other hand, seemed completely in control, as he always did. Ryan stared at Colin in response.
"You have such a thing for Drew, that it infuriates you that Greg would call his name."
"What!?", was all Ryan could manage at the insinuation.
"Oh come on. I see how you look at him when he laughs and how you love to play with his head during Foreign Film Dub!"
"Col, I assure you that is not it at all!"
"Then tell me what is? I know you. You wouldn't be this disturbed if something wasn't underlying."
"Nothing is underlying!"
"Then it must be Drew. I think it's sweet---"
"Do you really want to know why?", Ryan interrupted, in a exasperated yell.
He looked as though he was on the verge of tears, which stopped Colin's playful plan of attack in it's tracks. Something was really wrong this time. It wasn't just some stupid tift.
"It's because I've called your name before!"
Colin looked at his shaking friend, speechless. He slid down the couch, making sure there was an ample amount of room between him and his friend.
"You, uh, you... really? I mean, uh, fuck." Colin put his head in his hands, slightly taken aback.
Ryan chuckled nervously, the first time he'd ever been nervous around Colin, and put a hand on his friend's shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung that on you like that. I probably shouldn't have even said anything." He sounded solemn and after a tiny unsure hug, moved away.
"No, Ryan. It's okay, I was just..uh, surprised? Would that work, yea, surprised." Colin was mentally kicking himself for letting the slightest bit of hope slip from his mouth.
"Col, are you saying...what? What are you saying?" Ryan slid closer to Colin, quickly filling the gap between them, until their thighs were touching.
"Ryan...I just... nothing." For the first time ever, Colin blatantly lied to his best friend.
"I don't think so." Ryan could always see through Colin like a window.
"Tell me Colin, I don't bite," He paused, "unless you want me to."
Colin snapped his head up to fit the younger man with a look of shock. Ryan chuckled slightly, and pulled his friend into another tight hug.
"Ryan." The name was said as acknowledgment; acknowledgment of what was being left unsaid in this conversation.
Ryan had pulled away, and was staring into Colin's eyes. Those eyes had always reminded him of a beagle puppy: cute and irresistible, the eyes you could never say no to.
"So, you want me to?" Ryan teased. Colin smiled and leaned closer. They slowly came nearer, and nearer. Until a frantic knocking at the door interrupted them.
Colin turned slowly to see a distraught-looking Drew pacing just outside of the doorway.
"Uh, sorry to interrupt guys, but I need to talk to you."
Ryan stood to go to his co-star and boss, but Drew stopped him.
"Um, I think Colin would be more suited for this one"
Ryan nodded. He understood that some things Colin was better at, it was probably a finance question. Colin was good at math. Colin smiled despite the fact that he desperately wanted to be back with Ryan, and followed Drew into the hallway, lightly closing the door behind him.
"So, Drew. What can I do for you?"
"What do you think of this?", Drew said, handing Colin a piece of folded stationary paper.
Colin unfolded the gold-edged paper and read the flowing, oddly neat script that he recognized as Greg's.
Drew,
Love can bring people together, or it can tear them apart. Right now love is tearing me apart, but I want it to bring us together. I've wanted you for the longest time. I may be out of line, but I have to take that chance. I can't keep quiet anymore, I love you. Every passing touch you give me leaves me floating all day, and when you smile the whole world goes away. I know the timing isn't right, but I have to know if you feel the same. Meet me at Kay's Pub (where we 1st meet if you remember...) after the taping. I'll be waiting.
Forever Yours in Mind,Body,and Soul,
Gregory E. Proops
Colin stood with his jaw on the floor. It was hard to believe that such a heartfelt plea came from Greg. No wonder Drew hadn't wanted Ryan's help with this.
"Whoa."
"Exactly my sentiments. What should I do?"
"Do you feel the same?"
"No! Maybe, ... I dunno."He paused.
"How did you know you had feelings for Ryan?"
Drew was the only one who knew about his attraction to Ryan. They had been on the set of The Drew Carey Show, Colin was waiting for Ryan to come out of his dressing room after a show. It had been one of the episodes in which Ryan was stark naked. Drew was goofing on him and made a sarcastic remark about what a "hot body" Ryan had, Colin agreed, also jokingly, but there must have been something in his eyes because Drew had asked, quite seriously now, if he meant it. And Colin said yeah.
Next thing he knew the whole story was out on the table. How he could pin point the day he fell for him, about how much Ryan's relationship with Greg hurt him, and how scared he was it would ruin their friendship if he said anything. It was amazing how easy it was to open up to Drew.
Colin pondered Drew's question, and came up with an honest answer.
"I realized it when I started to notice everything he did made me smile, and how I found myself thinking about him during the day."
He paused here as he thought about Drew and Greg's interaction.
"And I know you must like Greg. You always try to get his attention and you love it when he gives you his."
Drew let out a long sigh. He shouldn't be lying to himself let alone Colin.
"I do, but I shouldn't. Ryan and Greg they have something, and I don't want to break it up."
Colin was slightly bothered by that. Why did everything have to come back to Greg?
"Greg is the one who sent you the letter, remember? Apparently his feelings for you are stronger than his for Ryan."
Drew still looked unsure.
"Maybe I'll go, but just to talk to him. I really don't want Ryan to get hurt."
"Why would I get hurt?", asked the 6 foot 6 figure now smiling in the open doorway.
"Er, uh, what?" Drew said, sporting the old deer in the headlights face.
Ryan chuckled and placed a hand on his perturbed friend's shoulder.
"Don't worry Drew. I heard you, I heard the situation, and I am just fine." He paused to give Colin a knowing smile.
"Go for it."
"Are you sure Ryan?"
Drew had always cared more about his friends' feeling more than his own, it was a part of his charm, and this was no exception. The taller man nodded and playfully shooed him.
"What did that letter say anyways?" Ryan asked taking it from where it remained in Colin's hands.
Colin stood by idly and watched as Ryan's expression went from amused, to humored, then finally settled on shock.
"Oh. Uh, yeah...." He stammered and looked up at Colin.
"Like, whoa." He quoted the older man from earlier.
"Doesn't seem like Greg, does it?" Colin moved closer to Ryan, settling into his side.
"Not at all. I mean, he never did anything remotely resembling...this..." He paused, and put an arm around Colin, "...when we were...Just, whoa." Ryan finally settled on the only phrase that seemed to fit the situation.
Colin nodded and directed them back into the room. He sank back into the couch, followed by Ryan doing the same.
"Can we just not talk about Greg for awhile?" Ryan put his arm back around Colin, and pulled him closer.
"This has just been so much in such a little time. I just want to forget him for now."
Colin smiled, Ryan had always been able to read his mind, even if he didn't know he was doing it.
"Sounds good."
"Hey, Col?" And before Colin can reply Ryan's lips were against his.
Colin pulled away, smiling slyly, "Yea, Ry?"
“I..”, his voice cracked so he started again, quietly. “I love you.”
“I know that. I love you too.”
Colin knew what Ryan was getting at, but he wanted to hear him say it, wanted to hear how he would word twenty years of feelings. Ryan bit his lower lip and looked down at the ground. His thinking face, Colin thought. Oh, how well he knew that face, and many others, all equally as beautiful in his eyes.
“I heard what you said to Drew...and I guess I’ve known. It’s just that, well...” He paused to look up and grasp Colin’s hand, as if for strength.
“I was scared. Being with Greg was easy, it was a lot of fighting, but it was easier to be with someone who didn’t know what my heart was like.”
“Someone like who?”,Colin asked, despite Ryan’s quavering voice and tear brimmed eyes.
“You, Col. It’s always been you, but I was scared to go after you. Scared that I would only hurt you, and I didn’t want to do that because you love me, not only that, but you actually care about me. Don’t get me wrong what I had with Greg taught me things about myself that I might’ve never found, but I just needed a substitute. That’s why we didn’t work out, because there is no substitute for what I want.”
Now his tears fell, even though he was smiling, they fell, and Colin felt himself begin to cry too. Here Ryan was torturing himself, keeping his emotions bottled up to the point of agony, just to make sure he wouldn’t be hurt. The force of the selflessness of the man before him struck Colin all at once, leaving him with no words.
Colin threw his arms around Ryan and hugged him as close as possible, and feeling Ryan’s arms squeeze back just as tight was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
When they pulled away the tears were long gone, they had just held each other for as long as the other needed. Colin was the first to speak.
“You could never hurt me Ryan. I know you couldn’t.”
Ryan stared back at him, blank faced for a moment, and then a smooth smirk graced his handsome tear dampened face.
“You always tell me what I can’t do.” He paused, suddenly serious as he looped his arms around Colin’s waist.
“Never stop.”
Colin brought his lips to Ryan’s in an austere kiss, reviling in the gentle, familiar touch of Ryan’s fingers brushing the back of his neck.
“As long as we never stop.”
Ryan pressed their lips together in another kiss, this one more passionate, and hungry. Colin let his hands travel up and down Ryan’s magnificent body. Ryan always said that he thought he was a poor specimen of the human form, but he was quite wrong. He had a perfect ass, for a slim man it was pleasing full, and that impossibly sexy curve just under his rib cage.
Not to mention his smooth naturally tan skin and sharp, bedroom, emerald-green eyes. Colin let out a deep throated moan as Ryan’s soft mouth found the spot just behind and under his earlobe. Ryan chuckled as he kissed his way back to Colin’s mouth.
“I’ve always wanted to do that.”
Colin placed his hands on Ryan’s broad shoulders and pushed shoved him back the small sofa, so that he was pinned under him.
“I’ve always wanted to do that.”
He took the younger man’s wrists in his hands and pinned them above his head. He really had always wanted to do that. Sometimes on the set while doing a porno scene, hearing Ryan gasp in mock pleasure, gave him images quite like this.
Colin was about to bring his lips to Ryan’s in a rough kiss, when they were interrupted by a barking laughter coming from the door. They both turned to see a very amused Greg and Drew.
“Me thinks the conversation I came here to have isn’t necessary!”, Greg exclaimed.
Drew just stood with a smile on his face, blushing a little. Seeing Ryan and Colin like this was probably last on his lists of things to see before he died.
“Well play it safe boys!”, he joked. As he turned to leave, he stopped. “Thanks Ryan.”
Ryan, as well as Colin, could only stare at him. Greg smiled a soft smile before he and Drew walked out the door. Colin couldn’t help, but notice that Greg and Drew had been holding hands and by the look on Ryan’s face, he had seen too.
They looked at each other for a moment, Colin still pinning Ryan’s arms, before saying, at the same time, “Awww!”
They were laughing as they continued where they left off. It was nice to be able to do that. It was always like that with Ryan. This was the beginning of something great, something bigger than either one of them. From that moment on it would be them against the world. Just like it had been since the day they meet, Colin thought.
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The End