(no subject)
Title: Dirty Revenge
Author: me, of course.
Rated: Probably somewhere between PG-13 and soft R. o_____0 I have no clue.
Summary: Set in a Helping Hands game. Ryan gets "revenge."
Pairing: Ryan/Colin. Everyone's favorite. :D
Notes: Uhm... First slash fic, first WLiiA? fic, as well. The guys' personalities most likely aren't even close to reality, in my opinion. ^^;; Sorry about that. And I'm also really sorry if this is a waste of your time. And I don't know crap about TV show tapings. I also don't know a bunch about these guys... So if I got anything wrong, like, their wife's name, lemme tell you something:
I pulled most of this out of my ass. XD Timeline, whatever that's slightly(or extremely) off.
*Ryan:
Ugh. Another "Helping Hands" game. I mean, I don't really mind Colin standing so close to me and being my arms, he's been one of my best friends for the last twenty years or so. It's just that some of the food on the table is just disgusting. I just-- It's just awful sometimes, but they always provide really good beer and/or wine to make up for it.
Good ol' props department. Or whoever decides those things. Whatever.
Well, we're waiting for the commercial break to be over, so I turn to talk to Colin.
"How's Deb?"
Yeah. Great conversation opener, Ryan. You're talking to a guy you've known for more than twenty fucking years, a guy you've kissed almost as many times as your wife, even though they were stage kisses, and that's the best you can do?
*Colin:
"How's Deb?"
I turn to face Ryan. "She's fine, how's Pat?"
His face darkens in mock suspicion. "Why do you want to know? Something you're not tellin' me, bub?" Ryan growls.
I laugh and say, "Oh yes, Pat and I have been having a secret affair for quite a while now... I thought you'd like to know. Oh, and Mackenzie's actually my child. So sorry."
He chuckles and takes a sip of water.
Drew then tells us the break's almost over and thanks the young couple that set up the "Helping Hands" table. They start to hurry off, and Ryan calls after them, "Don't be in such a rush... It's only eight. You have plenty of time for that later."
The young man and lady blush and the audience laughs. "Hormones... Lovely, aren't they? The backroom is free for at least 20 minutes," I say.
They turn a shade of red that I have never seen before and hurry off. And that's saying quite a lot, considering I've known Ryan for more than twenty years and he always has quite the "funky" shoes.
I mention this to Chip. He laughs loudly and claps his hands together. He passes it on to Wayne, who looks at me, then at Ryan's shoes(today they were the bright blue pair) and starts laughing.
Drew then motions to Wayne, who walks down to the desk and plops into the chair.
*Ryan:
"Aaaaaand we're back, ladies and gentleman! Give a round of applause to Wayne Brady, our winner tonight!"
Wayne starts to "cry" and takes in huge, gasping breaths, as if he won the beauty pageant or something or the other.
"And now, it's time for Helping Hands!!" I grimace and walk down towards the table. There was an assortment of spaghetti, garlic bread, and the like. Also, quite a few bottles of wine.
Good... There was only a jacket to put on tonight. Colin slipped one on as well, then stood behind me and became my "arms."
Drew simply put on a ridiculous blonde wig.
"And, Wayne, what's our scene tonight?"
"Your scene is, Ryan is an Italian hopeless romantic, trying to woo Drew, a normal American girl--" Wayne starts to crack, and everyone eventually broke into laughter. "--with a romantic candle-lit dinner."
"So, what's all this about, Ryannnn?" Drew says in an extremely high voice. I muster up my best Italian accent and go for it.
"Darling, this is..." Colin makes flailing movements with his arms. His face, not to mention the rest of him, is pressed against my back, and I could feel him smile. "A declaration of my eternal love... For you."
I pause, waiting for the audience to stop chuckling. "Ooh, honey, how sweet!" Drew cooes. The audience laughs some more.
"So, would you like some spaaaaghetti, daaaarling?" Colin's hand scoops up the spaghetti, completely ignoring my frantic cries for "A fork! I'll use a fork!"
But this just might work out to my advantage after all. After all those times Colin's practically force-fed me the nastiest food... Ohoho... He was going to regret this. I have a feeling that I would, too, but the important thing is what his reaction would be.
"Well, I also like to eat with my hands, so, ah--" I say, and Colin, with the nerve of his, literally smears it across my face. I could feel his soft laughter onto my back. I manage to eat a couple bites and he drops the rest into the plate, and with the other hand, offers the plate to Drew. "It tastes wonderful, darling, try some." I say in a deep, what I hope is a "woo-ing" voice. Drew recoils in horror. “But, but, but, your germs are all over it!”
Haha... I execute my plan next. Colin will have no idea what hit him.
And then I proceed to say, “And I love licking the sauce off of my fingers.”
*Colin:
As soon as he says, “And I love licking the sauce off of my fingers,” I hesitate. Usually, I would initiate the eating and the finger-licking for laughs, and usually Ryan eats a breath mint as soon as we finish the game. He always said that I should wash my hands, jokingly. My mind races… Was he up to something?
I slowly move my right arm, cautious. Knowing Ryan, he'd do anything for laughs. Kiss me, lick my head (Boy, I remember that) and the sort. My hand made its way up to his mouth. His tongue flickers out and licks the tomato sauce off my pinky, my ring finger, my middle finger, when he suddenly bites the tip of my index finger. I jump a bit from behind him. Then he takes my entire finger into his mouth.
My eyes widen and my jaw drops a bit. Drew notices this, but carries on. I clamp my mouth shut. Ryan's tongue quickly cleans the sauce off, and, FUCK, his tongue started to lick my finger and trace circles on it… How does this man do this with his mouth shut? More importantly, what the FUCK was he doing?!
I finally start to tug my finger out and his teeth scrapes the underside as I pull my poor, germ-infested finger out. This all took a matter of two seconds. The audience didn't really notice anything. We quickly wrap up the game, and but throughout it, the only thing I could think of was,
That was so entirely wrong, and strangely dirty-feeling… I feel like I just cheated on Deb with Ryan. ...Why do I feel content right now?!
*Ryan:
I hadn't exactly planned that, but all was well. I didn't really bite him like I planned, but at least I made him feel extremely uncomfortable. Ha ha. That was strangely satisfying, though...
We finish the game and return to our chairs. Colin gives me a look that said “What the hell was that?!”
I smirk and place a breath mint on my tongue.
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Now that I've finished, I really don't like it. I hope you guys get it… I don't really feel like explaining why Colin felt like he cheated on his wife. O_______0 I also have a bit of trouble with past and present tenses, since English is actually my second language.
Comments? Any feedback at all? You can tell me that it sucked. Then I'll just stop writing these or write more to torture you. XD
Author: me, of course.
Rated: Probably somewhere between PG-13 and soft R. o_____0 I have no clue.
Summary: Set in a Helping Hands game. Ryan gets "revenge."
Pairing: Ryan/Colin. Everyone's favorite. :D
Notes: Uhm... First slash fic, first WLiiA? fic, as well. The guys' personalities most likely aren't even close to reality, in my opinion. ^^;; Sorry about that. And I'm also really sorry if this is a waste of your time. And I don't know crap about TV show tapings. I also don't know a bunch about these guys... So if I got anything wrong, like, their wife's name, lemme tell you something:
I pulled most of this out of my ass. XD Timeline, whatever that's slightly(or extremely) off.
*Ryan:
Ugh. Another "Helping Hands" game. I mean, I don't really mind Colin standing so close to me and being my arms, he's been one of my best friends for the last twenty years or so. It's just that some of the food on the table is just disgusting. I just-- It's just awful sometimes, but they always provide really good beer and/or wine to make up for it.
Good ol' props department. Or whoever decides those things. Whatever.
Well, we're waiting for the commercial break to be over, so I turn to talk to Colin.
"How's Deb?"
Yeah. Great conversation opener, Ryan. You're talking to a guy you've known for more than twenty fucking years, a guy you've kissed almost as many times as your wife, even though they were stage kisses, and that's the best you can do?
*Colin:
"How's Deb?"
I turn to face Ryan. "She's fine, how's Pat?"
His face darkens in mock suspicion. "Why do you want to know? Something you're not tellin' me, bub?" Ryan growls.
I laugh and say, "Oh yes, Pat and I have been having a secret affair for quite a while now... I thought you'd like to know. Oh, and Mackenzie's actually my child. So sorry."
He chuckles and takes a sip of water.
Drew then tells us the break's almost over and thanks the young couple that set up the "Helping Hands" table. They start to hurry off, and Ryan calls after them, "Don't be in such a rush... It's only eight. You have plenty of time for that later."
The young man and lady blush and the audience laughs. "Hormones... Lovely, aren't they? The backroom is free for at least 20 minutes," I say.
They turn a shade of red that I have never seen before and hurry off. And that's saying quite a lot, considering I've known Ryan for more than twenty years and he always has quite the "funky" shoes.
I mention this to Chip. He laughs loudly and claps his hands together. He passes it on to Wayne, who looks at me, then at Ryan's shoes(today they were the bright blue pair) and starts laughing.
Drew then motions to Wayne, who walks down to the desk and plops into the chair.
*Ryan:
"Aaaaaand we're back, ladies and gentleman! Give a round of applause to Wayne Brady, our winner tonight!"
Wayne starts to "cry" and takes in huge, gasping breaths, as if he won the beauty pageant or something or the other.
"And now, it's time for Helping Hands!!" I grimace and walk down towards the table. There was an assortment of spaghetti, garlic bread, and the like. Also, quite a few bottles of wine.
Good... There was only a jacket to put on tonight. Colin slipped one on as well, then stood behind me and became my "arms."
Drew simply put on a ridiculous blonde wig.
"And, Wayne, what's our scene tonight?"
"Your scene is, Ryan is an Italian hopeless romantic, trying to woo Drew, a normal American girl--" Wayne starts to crack, and everyone eventually broke into laughter. "--with a romantic candle-lit dinner."
"So, what's all this about, Ryannnn?" Drew says in an extremely high voice. I muster up my best Italian accent and go for it.
"Darling, this is..." Colin makes flailing movements with his arms. His face, not to mention the rest of him, is pressed against my back, and I could feel him smile. "A declaration of my eternal love... For you."
I pause, waiting for the audience to stop chuckling. "Ooh, honey, how sweet!" Drew cooes. The audience laughs some more.
"So, would you like some spaaaaghetti, daaaarling?" Colin's hand scoops up the spaghetti, completely ignoring my frantic cries for "A fork! I'll use a fork!"
But this just might work out to my advantage after all. After all those times Colin's practically force-fed me the nastiest food... Ohoho... He was going to regret this. I have a feeling that I would, too, but the important thing is what his reaction would be.
"Well, I also like to eat with my hands, so, ah--" I say, and Colin, with the nerve of his, literally smears it across my face. I could feel his soft laughter onto my back. I manage to eat a couple bites and he drops the rest into the plate, and with the other hand, offers the plate to Drew. "It tastes wonderful, darling, try some." I say in a deep, what I hope is a "woo-ing" voice. Drew recoils in horror. “But, but, but, your germs are all over it!”
Haha... I execute my plan next. Colin will have no idea what hit him.
And then I proceed to say, “And I love licking the sauce off of my fingers.”
*Colin:
As soon as he says, “And I love licking the sauce off of my fingers,” I hesitate. Usually, I would initiate the eating and the finger-licking for laughs, and usually Ryan eats a breath mint as soon as we finish the game. He always said that I should wash my hands, jokingly. My mind races… Was he up to something?
I slowly move my right arm, cautious. Knowing Ryan, he'd do anything for laughs. Kiss me, lick my head (Boy, I remember that) and the sort. My hand made its way up to his mouth. His tongue flickers out and licks the tomato sauce off my pinky, my ring finger, my middle finger, when he suddenly bites the tip of my index finger. I jump a bit from behind him. Then he takes my entire finger into his mouth.
My eyes widen and my jaw drops a bit. Drew notices this, but carries on. I clamp my mouth shut. Ryan's tongue quickly cleans the sauce off, and, FUCK, his tongue started to lick my finger and trace circles on it… How does this man do this with his mouth shut? More importantly, what the FUCK was he doing?!
I finally start to tug my finger out and his teeth scrapes the underside as I pull my poor, germ-infested finger out. This all took a matter of two seconds. The audience didn't really notice anything. We quickly wrap up the game, and but throughout it, the only thing I could think of was,
That was so entirely wrong, and strangely dirty-feeling… I feel like I just cheated on Deb with Ryan. ...Why do I feel content right now?!
*Ryan:
I hadn't exactly planned that, but all was well. I didn't really bite him like I planned, but at least I made him feel extremely uncomfortable. Ha ha. That was strangely satisfying, though...
We finish the game and return to our chairs. Colin gives me a look that said “What the hell was that?!”
I smirk and place a breath mint on my tongue.
---------------------------------------------
Now that I've finished, I really don't like it. I hope you guys get it… I don't really feel like explaining why Colin felt like he cheated on his wife. O_______0 I also have a bit of trouble with past and present tenses, since English is actually my second language.
Comments? Any feedback at all? You can tell me that it sucked. Then I'll just stop writing these or write more to torture you. XD