(no subject)
Title: A Place Where We Belong. A New Reality, Part Four of ?
Pairing: Ryan/Colin
Rating: PG
Summary: The title pretty much explains this short chapter. I'm not good at summaries. Oh, I promise R/C aren't going to bicker in every single chapter. I'm always writing drama. But it gets better, I swear.
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with WL, I don't own or know Ry/Col, this is purely fiction, I make no profits. I own "Ron", but nobody's gonna want to steal him, anyway.
Notes: The "umbrella" title, A Place Where We Belong, is from an Air Supply song of the same name (don't own them, either). Listening to them reminds me of R/C. Don't ask. :)
By: Air Supply
I'm just a wandering gypsy
I'll sing for you tonight
And when the seats are empty
I'll turn and walk into my spotlight
And I'll be in the place where I belong
For who will tell the story
Except someone like me
Of tragedy and glory
Of lovers as they walk so blindly
And try to find a place where they belong
We all must find a place where we belong
Everybody knows me
Everyone shows me
And I'll be here when you have gone
For the road to carry on
We all must find a place where we belong
If destiny has spoken
If finally the dawn has broken
We all must find a place where we belong
I'm just a wandering gypsy
I've sung for you tonight
And now the seats are empty
I'll turn and walk into my spotlight
And I'll be in the place where I belong
So Ryan stayed. He brought in all the luggage from the trunk of his rental car. On Colin’s insistence, he returned the rental car to the company, because Colin said there was no point in him paying a hundred bucks a day when they could both just use Colin’s car.
Colin’s house took on a bachelor-pad feel. There were decks of cards on the tables, empty cans and cups, stacks of recently watched DVDs on the entertainment center that had yet to be put away, and clothes strewn all over each man’s bedroom.
Colin found Ryan’s presence to be incredibly comforting. This old friend who understood him so well, accepted him so easily and made him laugh and feel at ease in a way that very few people could. For years Colin had harbored feelings for Ryan that he kept a carefully guarded secret, although that was sometimes hard to do when the two spent so much time kissing and otherwise physically in contact on Whose Line. With Ryan in his home, those feelings crossed his mind again, but he tried to keep them in the back of his thoughts. He just enjoyed having Ryan around during this difficult transitional time in his life.
After a few weeks, Ryan became less of a guest and more of a roommate. Colin didn’t want Ryan to leave, and Ryan didn’t seem inclined to go anywhere. They had always had an unspoken agreement that one could stay at the other’s home for as long as needed. Colin was happy to look at Ryan as a roommate, now, at least temporarily. So a comfortable companionship and easy routine developed over the weeks.
One Saturday night, about a month and a half into this living arrangement, Ryan wandered down the upstairs hallway looking for Colin.
“Col?”
“In here!” Colin replied. Ryan found Colin in the bedroom, in front of the mirror, buttoning up his shirt. Colin turned to see Ryan hovering in the doorway. “You can come in, you know. You’re allowed.”
Ryan grinned sheepishly and entered, sitting on the edge of Colin’s bed. “Whatcha doing?”
“Oh,” Colin smiled proudly. “I have a date!”
“A date? Like, with a guy?” Ryan asked, eyebrows lifting.
“Yup. Name’s Ron.”
“Ron?”
“Is there an echo?” Colin chuckled. He saw Ryan’s nose crinkle. “Why are you making a face?”
“I don’t know,” Ryan shrugged. “It’s just that even when you said you were gay…I just…I never pictured you actually going out with a guy.”
“What am I going to be celibate for the rest of my life, now?” Colin joked.
Ryan’s face scrunched up even more. “I don’t want to talk about…that, Colin.”
Colin tried not to become irritated. “We don’t have to, Ry.”
“Good. And anyway, so now you’re over Deb completely? You don’t feel bad anymore, you’re just ready to move on? Isn’t it a little quick?”
Colin’s head cocked to one side. He approached until he was standing in front of Ryan. “Ry, I don’t have the kind of issues with Deb that really require a mourning period. I mean, of course I’m still adjusting and of course I worry about Luke now that the divorce is being finalized, but the fact is, Deb and I are very over. Very. I have to move on with my new life.”
Ryan shifted uncomfortably. Colin watched Ryan’s face. He could see that Ryan was having a hard time with this. Unfortunately, he didn’t really have time to talk to Ryan about it right now.
“I’m late, Ry, I gotta go, OK?”
Ryan looked up. “Yeah. OK. See you later, Col.”
Ryan eventually fell asleep in front of the television in the den, waking up some time very late in the night to low pitch, mumbling voices out in the front hallway. He rolled off of the couch and wandered toward the voices, one of which he recognized as Colin’s. Before either of the two men in the hall saw him, he saw them. The stranger, who he figured must be Colin’s date, Ron, had his back to Ryan. Ron stood closely in front of Colin, who had his back pressed to the wall. Colin’s arms were wrapped around the man’s waist and his fingers were playing idly with the back of the guy’s shirt. Colin’s face was flushed. Ryan saw Colin smiling at something the guy said, inaudible to Ryan. Finally, Colin glanced over the man’s shoulder and saw Ryan standing there.
“Ry!” Colin exclaimed, and Ron turned suddenly towards Ryan, breaking Colin’s grip around his waist.
“Oh! Hey, you’re Ryan? I’m Ron,” the man extended his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Ryan shook the guy’s hand and mumbled a similar reply.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Ryan offered.
“No,” Colin said, smiling. “It’s OK.”
“So,” Ryan shuffled from side to side, clearly uncomfortable. “How was the date?”
“Um, it was good. It was good,” Ron offered.
“It was great, Ry. How was your night?” Colin asked, his voice slightly high pitched, trying to get Ryan past his awkwardness.
“Great,” Ryan said.
“Well,” Ron turned back to Colin. “I think I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow, OK?”
“Alright,” Colin agreed reluctantly.
Ryan watched as Ron leaned in towards Colin, and the two began to kiss. He saw Colin’s hands fumbling at the back of Ron’s neck. The room was silent except for the growing sounds of breathing getting heavy between the two men. Ryan grimaced, feeling a blush spread across his face like fire; back to his ears, which he knew were red right now, as well.
When Ron and Colin finally said goodnight, Colin found Ryan in the kitchen, standing in front of the open fridge, which he closed when Colin came in.
“What’s up?” Colin asked.
“Nothing. I guess you’re getting on with your new life, huh?” Ryan inquired.
Colin wasn’t sure how to take Ryan’s bitterly toned question. “What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing!” Ryan’s voice raised just a touch. He lowered it again but there was an undertone that Colin couldn’t place. “Nothing,” he repeated. “Just, I don’t get you anymore, Col. I don’t understand this…lifestyle…or whatever.”
“Ryan, I’m gay…”
“I understand you’re gay! God knows you let me know it,” offered Ryan sarcastically. He wasn’t about to say it, but his mind was racing with thoughts that scared him to death. It was easier to just not acknowledge them.
Colin wanted to yell, but he didn’t. He didn’t even raise his voice.
“Ryan, I want to understand why you’re so upset, but I don’t get it. What’s the problem? I thought you understood me!”
Ryan cleared his throat harshly. He brushed past Colin towards the stairs. “Nothing. It’s nothing; forget it. I don’t get why you would leave a great girl like Deb for some dude but it doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t talk about this now, Colin.”
“No!” Colin tried to sound demanding, but even he could hear the pleading in his voice. “No, you have to talk about this right now! How can you say something like that and then walk away? Oh, wait, that’s right…” Colin felt the anger that only Ryan could bring out in him. “…that’s what you do.” Colin’s words were softly spoken. He’d started to get angry, but more than angry, he was getting sad.
Ryan stopped on the second step. He looked at Colin. “I might leave in the morning.”
“Why?” Colin cried. His voice lowered almost to a mumble. “I thought things were different with you. But they’re not. You’re still just the same.”
“Yeah. I’m exactly the same, Col.” Ryan’s voice had a note of defeat, for which the reason was unclear to Colin. Ryan continued up the steps.
When Colin got up the next morning, he fully expected Ryan to be gone. Ryan was gone, but all his stuff was still there. Colin thought, well, I have a good mind to take all his crap and throw it out into the street. But he didn’t. Instead, he made his bed and had some coffee. He was sitting at the kitchen table doing the day’s crossword when he heard Ryan come in.
TBC
Pairing: Ryan/Colin
Rating: PG
Summary: The title pretty much explains this short chapter. I'm not good at summaries. Oh, I promise R/C aren't going to bicker in every single chapter. I'm always writing drama. But it gets better, I swear.
Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with WL, I don't own or know Ry/Col, this is purely fiction, I make no profits. I own "Ron", but nobody's gonna want to steal him, anyway.
Notes: The "umbrella" title, A Place Where We Belong, is from an Air Supply song of the same name (don't own them, either). Listening to them reminds me of R/C. Don't ask. :)
By: Air Supply
I'm just a wandering gypsy
I'll sing for you tonight
And when the seats are empty
I'll turn and walk into my spotlight
And I'll be in the place where I belong
For who will tell the story
Except someone like me
Of tragedy and glory
Of lovers as they walk so blindly
And try to find a place where they belong
We all must find a place where we belong
Everybody knows me
Everyone shows me
And I'll be here when you have gone
For the road to carry on
We all must find a place where we belong
If destiny has spoken
If finally the dawn has broken
We all must find a place where we belong
I'm just a wandering gypsy
I've sung for you tonight
And now the seats are empty
I'll turn and walk into my spotlight
And I'll be in the place where I belong
So Ryan stayed. He brought in all the luggage from the trunk of his rental car. On Colin’s insistence, he returned the rental car to the company, because Colin said there was no point in him paying a hundred bucks a day when they could both just use Colin’s car.
Colin’s house took on a bachelor-pad feel. There were decks of cards on the tables, empty cans and cups, stacks of recently watched DVDs on the entertainment center that had yet to be put away, and clothes strewn all over each man’s bedroom.
Colin found Ryan’s presence to be incredibly comforting. This old friend who understood him so well, accepted him so easily and made him laugh and feel at ease in a way that very few people could. For years Colin had harbored feelings for Ryan that he kept a carefully guarded secret, although that was sometimes hard to do when the two spent so much time kissing and otherwise physically in contact on Whose Line. With Ryan in his home, those feelings crossed his mind again, but he tried to keep them in the back of his thoughts. He just enjoyed having Ryan around during this difficult transitional time in his life.
After a few weeks, Ryan became less of a guest and more of a roommate. Colin didn’t want Ryan to leave, and Ryan didn’t seem inclined to go anywhere. They had always had an unspoken agreement that one could stay at the other’s home for as long as needed. Colin was happy to look at Ryan as a roommate, now, at least temporarily. So a comfortable companionship and easy routine developed over the weeks.
One Saturday night, about a month and a half into this living arrangement, Ryan wandered down the upstairs hallway looking for Colin.
“Col?”
“In here!” Colin replied. Ryan found Colin in the bedroom, in front of the mirror, buttoning up his shirt. Colin turned to see Ryan hovering in the doorway. “You can come in, you know. You’re allowed.”
Ryan grinned sheepishly and entered, sitting on the edge of Colin’s bed. “Whatcha doing?”
“Oh,” Colin smiled proudly. “I have a date!”
“A date? Like, with a guy?” Ryan asked, eyebrows lifting.
“Yup. Name’s Ron.”
“Ron?”
“Is there an echo?” Colin chuckled. He saw Ryan’s nose crinkle. “Why are you making a face?”
“I don’t know,” Ryan shrugged. “It’s just that even when you said you were gay…I just…I never pictured you actually going out with a guy.”
“What am I going to be celibate for the rest of my life, now?” Colin joked.
Ryan’s face scrunched up even more. “I don’t want to talk about…that, Colin.”
Colin tried not to become irritated. “We don’t have to, Ry.”
“Good. And anyway, so now you’re over Deb completely? You don’t feel bad anymore, you’re just ready to move on? Isn’t it a little quick?”
Colin’s head cocked to one side. He approached until he was standing in front of Ryan. “Ry, I don’t have the kind of issues with Deb that really require a mourning period. I mean, of course I’m still adjusting and of course I worry about Luke now that the divorce is being finalized, but the fact is, Deb and I are very over. Very. I have to move on with my new life.”
Ryan shifted uncomfortably. Colin watched Ryan’s face. He could see that Ryan was having a hard time with this. Unfortunately, he didn’t really have time to talk to Ryan about it right now.
“I’m late, Ry, I gotta go, OK?”
Ryan looked up. “Yeah. OK. See you later, Col.”
Ryan eventually fell asleep in front of the television in the den, waking up some time very late in the night to low pitch, mumbling voices out in the front hallway. He rolled off of the couch and wandered toward the voices, one of which he recognized as Colin’s. Before either of the two men in the hall saw him, he saw them. The stranger, who he figured must be Colin’s date, Ron, had his back to Ryan. Ron stood closely in front of Colin, who had his back pressed to the wall. Colin’s arms were wrapped around the man’s waist and his fingers were playing idly with the back of the guy’s shirt. Colin’s face was flushed. Ryan saw Colin smiling at something the guy said, inaudible to Ryan. Finally, Colin glanced over the man’s shoulder and saw Ryan standing there.
“Ry!” Colin exclaimed, and Ron turned suddenly towards Ryan, breaking Colin’s grip around his waist.
“Oh! Hey, you’re Ryan? I’m Ron,” the man extended his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
Ryan shook the guy’s hand and mumbled a similar reply.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Ryan offered.
“No,” Colin said, smiling. “It’s OK.”
“So,” Ryan shuffled from side to side, clearly uncomfortable. “How was the date?”
“Um, it was good. It was good,” Ron offered.
“It was great, Ry. How was your night?” Colin asked, his voice slightly high pitched, trying to get Ryan past his awkwardness.
“Great,” Ryan said.
“Well,” Ron turned back to Colin. “I think I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow, OK?”
“Alright,” Colin agreed reluctantly.
Ryan watched as Ron leaned in towards Colin, and the two began to kiss. He saw Colin’s hands fumbling at the back of Ron’s neck. The room was silent except for the growing sounds of breathing getting heavy between the two men. Ryan grimaced, feeling a blush spread across his face like fire; back to his ears, which he knew were red right now, as well.
When Ron and Colin finally said goodnight, Colin found Ryan in the kitchen, standing in front of the open fridge, which he closed when Colin came in.
“What’s up?” Colin asked.
“Nothing. I guess you’re getting on with your new life, huh?” Ryan inquired.
Colin wasn’t sure how to take Ryan’s bitterly toned question. “What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing!” Ryan’s voice raised just a touch. He lowered it again but there was an undertone that Colin couldn’t place. “Nothing,” he repeated. “Just, I don’t get you anymore, Col. I don’t understand this…lifestyle…or whatever.”
“Ryan, I’m gay…”
“I understand you’re gay! God knows you let me know it,” offered Ryan sarcastically. He wasn’t about to say it, but his mind was racing with thoughts that scared him to death. It was easier to just not acknowledge them.
Colin wanted to yell, but he didn’t. He didn’t even raise his voice.
“Ryan, I want to understand why you’re so upset, but I don’t get it. What’s the problem? I thought you understood me!”
Ryan cleared his throat harshly. He brushed past Colin towards the stairs. “Nothing. It’s nothing; forget it. I don’t get why you would leave a great girl like Deb for some dude but it doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t talk about this now, Colin.”
“No!” Colin tried to sound demanding, but even he could hear the pleading in his voice. “No, you have to talk about this right now! How can you say something like that and then walk away? Oh, wait, that’s right…” Colin felt the anger that only Ryan could bring out in him. “…that’s what you do.” Colin’s words were softly spoken. He’d started to get angry, but more than angry, he was getting sad.
Ryan stopped on the second step. He looked at Colin. “I might leave in the morning.”
“Why?” Colin cried. His voice lowered almost to a mumble. “I thought things were different with you. But they’re not. You’re still just the same.”
“Yeah. I’m exactly the same, Col.” Ryan’s voice had a note of defeat, for which the reason was unclear to Colin. Ryan continued up the steps.
When Colin got up the next morning, he fully expected Ryan to be gone. Ryan was gone, but all his stuff was still there. Colin thought, well, I have a good mind to take all his crap and throw it out into the street. But he didn’t. Instead, he made his bed and had some coffee. He was sitting at the kitchen table doing the day’s crossword when he heard Ryan come in.
TBC