"Misunderstandings" [FIC]
Misunderstandings
By: Mizz Meow
Pairing: Col/Ry
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Inspired by Cae’s delicious manip of Ry/Col making out in the surf. *sigh*
I was going for fluff but ended up with angst, followed by fluff. So I guess this is "fluffy/angst"
Summary: Colin tells Ryan why he’s getting divorced, a misunderstanding ensues, and much angst is felt.
Disclaimer: Not mine, don’t know ‘em, this is all made up stuff, not base in real life, which is really too bad, cuz I’d love for it to be real life.
******
Ryan watched Colin pace up and down like a caged cat looking for a way out, and it was starting to make him nervous. He waved at the empty spot next to him on the sofa, indicating to his friend that he needed to sit down.
“So are you going to tell me what this is all about, Col?” Ryan asked, when Colin finally settled in next to him, fidgeting with his fingers.
“I already told you. Deb and I are separated, and we’re getting a divorce. What more is there to tell?”
Ryan scowled at his friend of more than twenty years, flabbergasted at the question. “What more is there to tell? You could start by telling me what led up to all of this! I thought you and Deb were happy. What happened?”
That set Colin off again. He launched to his feet and started pacing around Ryan’s living room, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. “We were happy. Well, we thought we were happy. Then I started touring with Brad.” Colin stopped his pacing and stared at the carpeting between his feet. “I found myself missing Deb less and less with each trip I made. And then, some things happened, and it got really weird.”
Colin was blushing pink now, which in and of itself wasn’t unusual for Colin. But for him to be blushing about it now, was very odd. “What 'things' happened to make it so ‘weird’ for you?” Ryan wondered.
“I got propositioned.”
“That’s not anything new.”
“By three guys?”
“Okay. That is new.”
“And I was rather flattered by it. They were all quite young and attractive.”
“My, god! Colin, you didn’t….”
“Of course I didn’t, Ryan! Give me some credit here!” Colin picked up his pacing where he had left off, flailing his arms about to emphasize his point. “But… I started looking at other men differently after that. And it made me realize something.”
Ryan felt as though he had swallowed a rather large stone, and it was now sitting in the pit of his stomach. “What did it make you realize?” He had a feeling he already knew the answer, and he wasn’t really sure how he felt about it either.
“It made me realize, that I’m gay.” Colin’s answer had been a hushed whisper, and Ryan had only just barely heard him. “I’m attracted to men, Ryan. And before you ask, I haven’t been in any gay relationships as of yet. I haven’t even told my family yet.” Colin looked over at Ryan, with tears tracking down his cheeks, and it very nearly broke Ryan’s heart at the pain he saw there. “I hope that this fact, doesn’t ruin our friendship, Ryan. I know that Deb is your friend, and I must seem like some sick freak to you. But I need your support to get me through this.”
Any words Ryan had thought to say, had all caught in his throat. He didn’t think Colin was a sick freak at all, nor did he blame him for separating from Deb. The truth be known, he had seen the strain in their marriage for some years, knowing that Colin was feeling less than attractive to her. And perhaps Deb had been feeling less than attractive to Colin as well? And her bullying and overbearing nature could easily grate against one so shy and unobtrusive as Colin.
Colin must have taken Ryan’s silence as a lack of support, as a quiet sob escaped him. He walked briskly to the front door of Ryan’s LA home, and opened it. “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, Ryan. I understand, and I won’t bother you anymore.” And before Ryan could move or even open his mouth, Colin was out the door. He was into his rented car, and halfway down the drive, when Ryan finally made it to the door.
“Damnit!” Ryan smacked the door frame with his hand. Why hadn’t he said all the things he had been thinking? Why hadn’t he gathered his dearest friend into his arms and comforted him? Why did he just sit there like a dumb ass and do nothing? “Damnit!”
******
The shrill tweeting of his phone, rousted Greg out of his slumber. And not being fully awake yet, he assumed it was his alarm clock and hit the snooze button. When that didn’t stop the noise, he groped around on the nightstand for his glasses and sat up groggily in bed, trying to sort out the source of the bothersome noise. Rolling his eyes, he snatched the phone out of its cradle and barked into the receiver.
“This better be fucking important, cuz its fucking two am!”
“Greg?” Ryan’s muffled voice asked. Greg calmed himself for a moment, taking notice of the distress in his friend’s voice.
“Ryan? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Silence followed his frantic questions, and for a moment, he wondered if he had lost the connection.
“Greg, I can’t find Colin! I… He… He checked out of his hotel, but he didn’t fly back to Toronto. And Brad doesn’t know where he would have gone, and…”
“Whoa, dude! Slow down! Colin is in Malibu. He’s borrowing my friend’s beach house and private beach. He’s been going through some rough shit, and he said he just needed some time alone.”
“Oh.”
“He also said that you were pretty pissed off at him, about the divorce and him being gay. What’s up with that, anyway? I never took you for a bigot.”
“Oh, Greg. I fucked up so bad. When he told me everything, I just froze up and sat there like a big lump of stupid. I wasn’t pissed off at him at all!” Ryan was near hysterics now, and Greg was not sure how to handle it. Ryan was usually quite collected as a rule, and this side of him was rather unnerving.
“Okay, Ry. I believe you. But I don’t understand why you didn’t say anything to him about this. I would have thought you would be thrilled with that news.”
Another long pause on Ryan’s end of the phone. “What do you mean, ‘thrilled with that news’. Why should I be thrilled that my best friend is going through a nasty, messy divorce?”
Greg chuckled. “Not the news about the divorce. About Colin being gay.”
“Why would I be thrilled about that?”
“Why wouldn’t you be? Considering how you feel about him and all.” The silence on Ryan’s end of the line lasted so long this time, that Greg was sure the connection had been lost.
“How did you know?” the quiet question startled Greg, and he jumped.
“Jeezis, Ryan! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!”
“How did you know?” Ryan’s voice was strong and assertive this time. This caused Greg to smirk. Here was the Ryan he knew and loved.
“It was hard not to know, dude. I mean, come on. You two were all over each other for years on Whose Line. Kissing, groping, blatant flirting. And don’t give me the ‘it was all an act’ shit either. Cuz you two did that and more off stage, too. Trust me, Col was just as shocked about it all when I brought it up with him.”
Greg got out of bed, the cordless phone still pressed to his ear, and padded to the kitchen to find his cigarettes. He had a very strict rule about no smoking in bed, that he always followed. He seriously disliked the idea of burning down his house by accident. “He thought I was only talking about him, so I didn’t press the fact that it had been a two way street with you. Figured he had enough crap to sort out without throwing you into the mix again.” There was a heavy miserable sigh on the other end of the line, and Greg frowned. “You okay?”
“Greg, I need to go to him. I need to talk to him, and tell him that he didn’t do anything wrong. I need to tell him the truth. Tell him how I feel about him. I owe him that, at least.” Another heavy sigh. “Can you give me the address, please?”
Greg could be mean and spiteful when he wanted to be, but he loved Ryan and Colin too much to play with their feelings when their whole relationship was on the line. And now that Greg understood that Ryan had not rejected Colin, he felt safe in sharing Colin’s exact whereabouts with him. “You got a paper and pen handy, Ry?”
“Thank you, Greg,” the relief in Ryan’s voice was palpable, and Greg hoped that his two best friends would have the happy ending they deserved, as he gave Ryan specific directions to the beach house where Colin was.
******
Colin had enjoyed the solitude that this beach house had given him. He had been able to clear his mind, and sort things out. He had been able to accept his divorce and all that would follow. He had accepted his sexuality, and he decided that he would write an article about it, and hold a press conference and come out on his own. There was no reason he needed to be tabloid fodder, if he was honest with his public. And he hoped that they would be accepting and not let it cloud their judgment. He had feared that Brad would react badly to the news, but Brad had proved him wrong, much to his relief, and had actually been very supportive.
All of his friends, both Canadian and American had been supportive. All but one. The one friend he had always counted on for his entire adult life, was now the albatross around his neck. The one that had rejected him when he had needed him most. Colin swatted the bitter tears out of his eyes, and quickly pushed all thoughts of Ryan from his mind. This was supposed to be a vacation, and by god he was going to relax and enjoy himself!
Colin had been sitting at the table on the deck, enjoying the ocean view, watching the gulls dive in the surf and scavenge the private beach for food. It had been a long time since he had gone swimming in the ocean, and he realized how much he had missed it. Stepping inside the cool house, he made his way to the bedroom to change into his swimming trunks.
*****
After about an hour of body surfing, Colin trudged to his towel and flopped down on it, exhausted. He lay in the warm sun and let it dry his wet skin. As he fought off the urge to doze he thought he heard a car door slam, but dismissed it as a figment in his drowsy mind.
He didn’t hear the quiet footsteps in the sand as his visitor came walking down the beach in search of him. He did, however, notice the shadow his visitor cast over him. Thinking it odd that someone would be on this particular beach, since it was private, he opened one eye a crack to see if it was the owner of the beach house. He was very surprised to see Ryan standing over him, looking very haggard and worn. He managed to sit up, despite his shock.
“Ryan? What’s wrong?”
“You mean aside from me being a complete asshole?”
Colin wasn’t sure he understood, and scratched his ear. “You’re not an asshole, Ryan.” Colin managed to get to his feet without falling over, considering Ryan was so far inside his personal space that Colin had to step backward or stand on one of his friend’s big feet.
Ryan sighed and looked Colin in the eyes. “Don’t defend me. I hurt you. And I’m very sorry. I never intended to hurt you.” The tears in Ryan’s eyes were enough to convince Colin that he was telling the truth. Wrapping his friend in a warm embrace, he sighed his relief that the whole matter was settled. But Ryan’s body language told him otherwise.
He looked in Ryan’s eyes again and saw some fear and hesitation there. Mistaking it for something he had done, he again stepped back, but Ryan caught his hand, and squeezed it. “Thank you for coming and telling me, Ryan. I thought I had ruined everything we had.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Col. You were honest with me and I’m glad. But…”
“But?” Colin’s heart sank again. Maybe this was Ryan’s final goodbye.
“But there’s more. Can we walk and talk?” Colin nodded, dreading the “more“, Ryan had spoken of. They walked along the surf, quietly lost in their own thoughts for a few minutes, before Ryan found the nerve to speak again. “Colin, I haven’t been honest with you. Or myself.”
Colin bit his lip and fought back the sudden tears that blurred his vision. Here it came. He wasn’t sure he could handle this again. “Honest about what?” Colin was rather proud of himself for not letting his emotions effect his voice.
“About a lot of things.”
“Like?”
“Like… like your being gay.” Colin felt the breath in his lungs freeze, and he stumbled. Ryan turned in surprise and caught his arm, steadying him. Ryan read the fear in his eyes and shook his head. “No. Col. Your being gay doesn’t bother me. In fact, it makes things a lot easier now.”
Colin was feeling slightly dizzy from all the confusion. “Makes what things a lot easier now?”
“Well, it makes it a lot easier for me to admit that I’m gay too.” Colin’s eyes bugged out of his head like a cartoon character’s. “Yeah. I am. And I’ve known for years, but just lived in the land of denial. It was just easier to do it that way. You know?”
They resumed walking, as Colin nodded. “Yeah. I know. I was your next door neighbor for all those years. Remember?” Colin teased, bumping his shoulder against Ryan’s arm. “What are you going to do?”
“What I should have done the in the first place.” Ryan reached out and grabbed Colin’s hand, then turned to face him again. “Colin, you know I love you, right?”
That question warmed his heart, and he was so very glad that they were back to where they had always been. “I know. I love you too.” He smiled and gave Ryan’s big hand an affectionate squeeze.
“But… do you know I’m in love with you too?” This caught Colin completely off guard, and it must have shown on his face. “Obviously you didn’t.” Ryan gave a nervous chuckle, and looked away, blushing. Something Ryan rarely ever did.
Blinking and regaining his power of speech, Colin smiled warmly at the man who had stuck by him through thick and thin his entire adult life. “Hey,” he said quietly, gaining Ryan’s attention again. “That makes us even. Because I’m in love with you too.”
Before he knew what was happening, Colin found himself in the sand and surf with Ryan on top of him. He opened his mouth to say something when Ryan’s came crashing down onto his. There was a lot of heat and passion in the kiss, as Ryan’s tongue delved and explored Colin’s mouth. All Colin could do was moan and tease Ryan back with the same passion.
They had kissed many times in their relationship, mostly stage kisses that had only seemed to have meaning to their audience. This kiss wasn’t like any of the others they had ever shared. This kiss wasn’t for the benefit of the audience. It was all about them. This kiss was a kiss that said all of the words they had never dared speak to each other before. Colin felt himself getting dizzy again, and feared he might black out for lack of oxygen, when Ryan pulled back. His green eyes were smoldering with love and hunger. “Col, why did we wait so damn long to admit how we felt about each other?”
“Because we were dumb and didn’t listen to what our hearts were screaming at us all these years.” Ryan smiled and kissed his lips more gently, a tender kiss that still said so much. Something occurred to Colin, just then. “Hey, how did you find me here? Greg promised me he wouldn’t tell a soul.”
“Don’t get mad at Greg, Col. I called him in the middle of the night, frantic. I was afraid maybe something had happened to you. And after the way we parted the other day, I didn’t know what you might do.”
“I was upset, Ryan. But I don’t think I could ever bring myself to do something stupid. At least I hope I wasn’t that far gone.”
“I know that now. Anyway when he told me you were in Malibu, I begged him to tell me where. I couldn’t live with myself another second, knowing what you must have been thinking. I should have told you that I supported you, no matter what. I don’t know why I didn’t. I hope you can forgive me.”
Colin pecked Ryan on the nose, and shook his head. “Hey, we covered that already. It’s over and forgotten. Let’s move forward now. Let’s figure out what we want as a couple. And can we get out of the surf? I think I’ve got sand up my ass.”
Ryan laughed and together they helped each other to their feet. Hand in hand they walked up to the beach house. “What do we do now?”
“Take a shower and make love?”
“I meant about the future, but I like your idea much better.” Ryan smirked, slipping an arm around Colin’s waist.
“Right. Let’s take a shower, make love, and let the future take care of itself.” Colin proclaimed as they mounted the steps of the deck. And that is just what they did.
The End of a Beginning.
By: Mizz Meow
Pairing: Col/Ry
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Inspired by Cae’s delicious manip of Ry/Col making out in the surf. *sigh*
I was going for fluff but ended up with angst, followed by fluff. So I guess this is "fluffy/angst"
Summary: Colin tells Ryan why he’s getting divorced, a misunderstanding ensues, and much angst is felt.
Disclaimer: Not mine, don’t know ‘em, this is all made up stuff, not base in real life, which is really too bad, cuz I’d love for it to be real life.
******
Ryan watched Colin pace up and down like a caged cat looking for a way out, and it was starting to make him nervous. He waved at the empty spot next to him on the sofa, indicating to his friend that he needed to sit down.
“So are you going to tell me what this is all about, Col?” Ryan asked, when Colin finally settled in next to him, fidgeting with his fingers.
“I already told you. Deb and I are separated, and we’re getting a divorce. What more is there to tell?”
Ryan scowled at his friend of more than twenty years, flabbergasted at the question. “What more is there to tell? You could start by telling me what led up to all of this! I thought you and Deb were happy. What happened?”
That set Colin off again. He launched to his feet and started pacing around Ryan’s living room, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. “We were happy. Well, we thought we were happy. Then I started touring with Brad.” Colin stopped his pacing and stared at the carpeting between his feet. “I found myself missing Deb less and less with each trip I made. And then, some things happened, and it got really weird.”
Colin was blushing pink now, which in and of itself wasn’t unusual for Colin. But for him to be blushing about it now, was very odd. “What 'things' happened to make it so ‘weird’ for you?” Ryan wondered.
“I got propositioned.”
“That’s not anything new.”
“By three guys?”
“Okay. That is new.”
“And I was rather flattered by it. They were all quite young and attractive.”
“My, god! Colin, you didn’t….”
“Of course I didn’t, Ryan! Give me some credit here!” Colin picked up his pacing where he had left off, flailing his arms about to emphasize his point. “But… I started looking at other men differently after that. And it made me realize something.”
Ryan felt as though he had swallowed a rather large stone, and it was now sitting in the pit of his stomach. “What did it make you realize?” He had a feeling he already knew the answer, and he wasn’t really sure how he felt about it either.
“It made me realize, that I’m gay.” Colin’s answer had been a hushed whisper, and Ryan had only just barely heard him. “I’m attracted to men, Ryan. And before you ask, I haven’t been in any gay relationships as of yet. I haven’t even told my family yet.” Colin looked over at Ryan, with tears tracking down his cheeks, and it very nearly broke Ryan’s heart at the pain he saw there. “I hope that this fact, doesn’t ruin our friendship, Ryan. I know that Deb is your friend, and I must seem like some sick freak to you. But I need your support to get me through this.”
Any words Ryan had thought to say, had all caught in his throat. He didn’t think Colin was a sick freak at all, nor did he blame him for separating from Deb. The truth be known, he had seen the strain in their marriage for some years, knowing that Colin was feeling less than attractive to her. And perhaps Deb had been feeling less than attractive to Colin as well? And her bullying and overbearing nature could easily grate against one so shy and unobtrusive as Colin.
Colin must have taken Ryan’s silence as a lack of support, as a quiet sob escaped him. He walked briskly to the front door of Ryan’s LA home, and opened it. “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, Ryan. I understand, and I won’t bother you anymore.” And before Ryan could move or even open his mouth, Colin was out the door. He was into his rented car, and halfway down the drive, when Ryan finally made it to the door.
“Damnit!” Ryan smacked the door frame with his hand. Why hadn’t he said all the things he had been thinking? Why hadn’t he gathered his dearest friend into his arms and comforted him? Why did he just sit there like a dumb ass and do nothing? “Damnit!”
******
The shrill tweeting of his phone, rousted Greg out of his slumber. And not being fully awake yet, he assumed it was his alarm clock and hit the snooze button. When that didn’t stop the noise, he groped around on the nightstand for his glasses and sat up groggily in bed, trying to sort out the source of the bothersome noise. Rolling his eyes, he snatched the phone out of its cradle and barked into the receiver.
“This better be fucking important, cuz its fucking two am!”
“Greg?” Ryan’s muffled voice asked. Greg calmed himself for a moment, taking notice of the distress in his friend’s voice.
“Ryan? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Silence followed his frantic questions, and for a moment, he wondered if he had lost the connection.
“Greg, I can’t find Colin! I… He… He checked out of his hotel, but he didn’t fly back to Toronto. And Brad doesn’t know where he would have gone, and…”
“Whoa, dude! Slow down! Colin is in Malibu. He’s borrowing my friend’s beach house and private beach. He’s been going through some rough shit, and he said he just needed some time alone.”
“Oh.”
“He also said that you were pretty pissed off at him, about the divorce and him being gay. What’s up with that, anyway? I never took you for a bigot.”
“Oh, Greg. I fucked up so bad. When he told me everything, I just froze up and sat there like a big lump of stupid. I wasn’t pissed off at him at all!” Ryan was near hysterics now, and Greg was not sure how to handle it. Ryan was usually quite collected as a rule, and this side of him was rather unnerving.
“Okay, Ry. I believe you. But I don’t understand why you didn’t say anything to him about this. I would have thought you would be thrilled with that news.”
Another long pause on Ryan’s end of the phone. “What do you mean, ‘thrilled with that news’. Why should I be thrilled that my best friend is going through a nasty, messy divorce?”
Greg chuckled. “Not the news about the divorce. About Colin being gay.”
“Why would I be thrilled about that?”
“Why wouldn’t you be? Considering how you feel about him and all.” The silence on Ryan’s end of the line lasted so long this time, that Greg was sure the connection had been lost.
“How did you know?” the quiet question startled Greg, and he jumped.
“Jeezis, Ryan! You almost gave me a fucking heart attack!”
“How did you know?” Ryan’s voice was strong and assertive this time. This caused Greg to smirk. Here was the Ryan he knew and loved.
“It was hard not to know, dude. I mean, come on. You two were all over each other for years on Whose Line. Kissing, groping, blatant flirting. And don’t give me the ‘it was all an act’ shit either. Cuz you two did that and more off stage, too. Trust me, Col was just as shocked about it all when I brought it up with him.”
Greg got out of bed, the cordless phone still pressed to his ear, and padded to the kitchen to find his cigarettes. He had a very strict rule about no smoking in bed, that he always followed. He seriously disliked the idea of burning down his house by accident. “He thought I was only talking about him, so I didn’t press the fact that it had been a two way street with you. Figured he had enough crap to sort out without throwing you into the mix again.” There was a heavy miserable sigh on the other end of the line, and Greg frowned. “You okay?”
“Greg, I need to go to him. I need to talk to him, and tell him that he didn’t do anything wrong. I need to tell him the truth. Tell him how I feel about him. I owe him that, at least.” Another heavy sigh. “Can you give me the address, please?”
Greg could be mean and spiteful when he wanted to be, but he loved Ryan and Colin too much to play with their feelings when their whole relationship was on the line. And now that Greg understood that Ryan had not rejected Colin, he felt safe in sharing Colin’s exact whereabouts with him. “You got a paper and pen handy, Ry?”
“Thank you, Greg,” the relief in Ryan’s voice was palpable, and Greg hoped that his two best friends would have the happy ending they deserved, as he gave Ryan specific directions to the beach house where Colin was.
******
Colin had enjoyed the solitude that this beach house had given him. He had been able to clear his mind, and sort things out. He had been able to accept his divorce and all that would follow. He had accepted his sexuality, and he decided that he would write an article about it, and hold a press conference and come out on his own. There was no reason he needed to be tabloid fodder, if he was honest with his public. And he hoped that they would be accepting and not let it cloud their judgment. He had feared that Brad would react badly to the news, but Brad had proved him wrong, much to his relief, and had actually been very supportive.
All of his friends, both Canadian and American had been supportive. All but one. The one friend he had always counted on for his entire adult life, was now the albatross around his neck. The one that had rejected him when he had needed him most. Colin swatted the bitter tears out of his eyes, and quickly pushed all thoughts of Ryan from his mind. This was supposed to be a vacation, and by god he was going to relax and enjoy himself!
Colin had been sitting at the table on the deck, enjoying the ocean view, watching the gulls dive in the surf and scavenge the private beach for food. It had been a long time since he had gone swimming in the ocean, and he realized how much he had missed it. Stepping inside the cool house, he made his way to the bedroom to change into his swimming trunks.
*****
After about an hour of body surfing, Colin trudged to his towel and flopped down on it, exhausted. He lay in the warm sun and let it dry his wet skin. As he fought off the urge to doze he thought he heard a car door slam, but dismissed it as a figment in his drowsy mind.
He didn’t hear the quiet footsteps in the sand as his visitor came walking down the beach in search of him. He did, however, notice the shadow his visitor cast over him. Thinking it odd that someone would be on this particular beach, since it was private, he opened one eye a crack to see if it was the owner of the beach house. He was very surprised to see Ryan standing over him, looking very haggard and worn. He managed to sit up, despite his shock.
“Ryan? What’s wrong?”
“You mean aside from me being a complete asshole?”
Colin wasn’t sure he understood, and scratched his ear. “You’re not an asshole, Ryan.” Colin managed to get to his feet without falling over, considering Ryan was so far inside his personal space that Colin had to step backward or stand on one of his friend’s big feet.
Ryan sighed and looked Colin in the eyes. “Don’t defend me. I hurt you. And I’m very sorry. I never intended to hurt you.” The tears in Ryan’s eyes were enough to convince Colin that he was telling the truth. Wrapping his friend in a warm embrace, he sighed his relief that the whole matter was settled. But Ryan’s body language told him otherwise.
He looked in Ryan’s eyes again and saw some fear and hesitation there. Mistaking it for something he had done, he again stepped back, but Ryan caught his hand, and squeezed it. “Thank you for coming and telling me, Ryan. I thought I had ruined everything we had.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Col. You were honest with me and I’m glad. But…”
“But?” Colin’s heart sank again. Maybe this was Ryan’s final goodbye.
“But there’s more. Can we walk and talk?” Colin nodded, dreading the “more“, Ryan had spoken of. They walked along the surf, quietly lost in their own thoughts for a few minutes, before Ryan found the nerve to speak again. “Colin, I haven’t been honest with you. Or myself.”
Colin bit his lip and fought back the sudden tears that blurred his vision. Here it came. He wasn’t sure he could handle this again. “Honest about what?” Colin was rather proud of himself for not letting his emotions effect his voice.
“About a lot of things.”
“Like?”
“Like… like your being gay.” Colin felt the breath in his lungs freeze, and he stumbled. Ryan turned in surprise and caught his arm, steadying him. Ryan read the fear in his eyes and shook his head. “No. Col. Your being gay doesn’t bother me. In fact, it makes things a lot easier now.”
Colin was feeling slightly dizzy from all the confusion. “Makes what things a lot easier now?”
“Well, it makes it a lot easier for me to admit that I’m gay too.” Colin’s eyes bugged out of his head like a cartoon character’s. “Yeah. I am. And I’ve known for years, but just lived in the land of denial. It was just easier to do it that way. You know?”
They resumed walking, as Colin nodded. “Yeah. I know. I was your next door neighbor for all those years. Remember?” Colin teased, bumping his shoulder against Ryan’s arm. “What are you going to do?”
“What I should have done the in the first place.” Ryan reached out and grabbed Colin’s hand, then turned to face him again. “Colin, you know I love you, right?”
That question warmed his heart, and he was so very glad that they were back to where they had always been. “I know. I love you too.” He smiled and gave Ryan’s big hand an affectionate squeeze.
“But… do you know I’m in love with you too?” This caught Colin completely off guard, and it must have shown on his face. “Obviously you didn’t.” Ryan gave a nervous chuckle, and looked away, blushing. Something Ryan rarely ever did.
Blinking and regaining his power of speech, Colin smiled warmly at the man who had stuck by him through thick and thin his entire adult life. “Hey,” he said quietly, gaining Ryan’s attention again. “That makes us even. Because I’m in love with you too.”
Before he knew what was happening, Colin found himself in the sand and surf with Ryan on top of him. He opened his mouth to say something when Ryan’s came crashing down onto his. There was a lot of heat and passion in the kiss, as Ryan’s tongue delved and explored Colin’s mouth. All Colin could do was moan and tease Ryan back with the same passion.
They had kissed many times in their relationship, mostly stage kisses that had only seemed to have meaning to their audience. This kiss wasn’t like any of the others they had ever shared. This kiss wasn’t for the benefit of the audience. It was all about them. This kiss was a kiss that said all of the words they had never dared speak to each other before. Colin felt himself getting dizzy again, and feared he might black out for lack of oxygen, when Ryan pulled back. His green eyes were smoldering with love and hunger. “Col, why did we wait so damn long to admit how we felt about each other?”
“Because we were dumb and didn’t listen to what our hearts were screaming at us all these years.” Ryan smiled and kissed his lips more gently, a tender kiss that still said so much. Something occurred to Colin, just then. “Hey, how did you find me here? Greg promised me he wouldn’t tell a soul.”
“Don’t get mad at Greg, Col. I called him in the middle of the night, frantic. I was afraid maybe something had happened to you. And after the way we parted the other day, I didn’t know what you might do.”
“I was upset, Ryan. But I don’t think I could ever bring myself to do something stupid. At least I hope I wasn’t that far gone.”
“I know that now. Anyway when he told me you were in Malibu, I begged him to tell me where. I couldn’t live with myself another second, knowing what you must have been thinking. I should have told you that I supported you, no matter what. I don’t know why I didn’t. I hope you can forgive me.”
Colin pecked Ryan on the nose, and shook his head. “Hey, we covered that already. It’s over and forgotten. Let’s move forward now. Let’s figure out what we want as a couple. And can we get out of the surf? I think I’ve got sand up my ass.”
Ryan laughed and together they helped each other to their feet. Hand in hand they walked up to the beach house. “What do we do now?”
“Take a shower and make love?”
“I meant about the future, but I like your idea much better.” Ryan smirked, slipping an arm around Colin’s waist.
“Right. Let’s take a shower, make love, and let the future take care of itself.” Colin proclaimed as they mounted the steps of the deck. And that is just what they did.
The End of a Beginning.