stuffs
I can't say that I've been very busy lately, but it does feel like I've had a bunch of things going on. Mundane things that seem to take up time... or waste time... however you look at it.
I am very pleased to say that Jazz and Katie are doing very well. They are still very small for their age, but acting very much like five week old kittens should except the eating part. They still want to suck, so are still on KMR. I've offered soggy BabyCat food, but they just want to suck that too. lol It is so damned cute to watch them play. I wish I could get a video of it, but the lighting is bad in my room for that kind of thing. I want to get photos of them, but the fact is I've been too lazy to do much of anything like that.
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On the health side of things, I still haven't gotten back into tracking my food intake, but have been trying to be conscience still of what I eat and how much. My weight has plateaued again... holding steady for a couple weeks now. I realize that will happen, but it can be depressing. With the warmer weather, though, I have been getting out to walk. (when it's not raining) I go two times around the block at a decent clip. I need to time myself, though, as I had intended to walk for 15 mins to start. I'm guessing it only takes me about ten to go around twice, so need to up it a bit. It feels really good to do it, though my poor joints don't thank me for it.
My mom came up yesterday for the high school Pops concert. Cid's in the jazz band and had a solo. :) Anyway, I haven't seen Mom in a good month since I quit Artworks. She said I was looking very thin. o.O I thanked her, of course, but I still can't get my head around my appearance. I still feel very fat most days. Probably because I still need to lose another fifty pounds at least. It's hard to accept the fact that I can wear smaller clothes and look good. The last time I wore 1XL tee shirts was in high school... even then I wanted to wear bigger to hide my "fat". Now, though I still weigh more than I did then, I can comfortably get into some larges. That is very hard for me to accept. Sounds strange, I know, but with losing weight, there has to be a change in thinking as well, which is very difficult for someone like me with body image issues. Family and friends can tell me I look good all day long, but until I can fully know it in my heart and in my head, I will have trouble truly believing it.
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On the writing front, I have been in such a savage slump that I don't even feel a stirring of desire for it. (my desire for anything, actually, has been in a slump) I don't know if that's good or bad or if the timing will work out. The story that is going into the anthology is still in 'edit mode' though our editor has had other life things going on, so the project has been on hiatus for quite some time. I don't mind this at all since I just can't get myself to feel very creative right now.
Since I have been thinking of it the last few days, I wonder if the slump is starting to end. I have felt that teeny niggling stirring that says I should write. All That Matters is crying to finished. Gale and Karl are left hanging there waiting for me to finish their story. lol I will probably have to go back over the last few bits I wrote... I am not happy with it as I feel like I was pushing too hard. It feels very forced to me; I dunno. I'm hoping that the long break will allow me to have a fresh take on how to bring it to a conclusion. And that is something I really need to do. I've got lots of time invested in the story, now, to not finish it.
If I can manage that project, I have been thinking a series of free form drabble type things might be good. Like I mentioned, I have not been feeling very creative. That may have something to do with being out of touch with my very good online friends whom I consider muses. :)
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I won't even bother writing about other troubles, which are finance related and a bit embarrassing to write about. I do have some fragment of pride left somewhere. lol Stress from that very well could be contributing to my apathy lately. I don't want to deal with things. Rather bury myself in alternate realities than deal with the one I have to move the flesh-bot around in. You just can not function creatively while being numb on the inside; I believe it to be physically impossible. Even responding to emails has been painfully difficult. *sigh*
Anyway, I have a meeting with Gee's speech teacher in a bit, so I'm forced to stop rambling to myself. And this has fulfilled it's function as a means to kill time before the meeting. lol
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Listening to: Evanescence - Lithium
http://foxytunes.com/artist/evanescence/track/lithium
I am very pleased to say that Jazz and Katie are doing very well. They are still very small for their age, but acting very much like five week old kittens should except the eating part. They still want to suck, so are still on KMR. I've offered soggy BabyCat food, but they just want to suck that too. lol It is so damned cute to watch them play. I wish I could get a video of it, but the lighting is bad in my room for that kind of thing. I want to get photos of them, but the fact is I've been too lazy to do much of anything like that.
-----------------
On the health side of things, I still haven't gotten back into tracking my food intake, but have been trying to be conscience still of what I eat and how much. My weight has plateaued again... holding steady for a couple weeks now. I realize that will happen, but it can be depressing. With the warmer weather, though, I have been getting out to walk. (when it's not raining) I go two times around the block at a decent clip. I need to time myself, though, as I had intended to walk for 15 mins to start. I'm guessing it only takes me about ten to go around twice, so need to up it a bit. It feels really good to do it, though my poor joints don't thank me for it.
My mom came up yesterday for the high school Pops concert. Cid's in the jazz band and had a solo. :) Anyway, I haven't seen Mom in a good month since I quit Artworks. She said I was looking very thin. o.O I thanked her, of course, but I still can't get my head around my appearance. I still feel very fat most days. Probably because I still need to lose another fifty pounds at least. It's hard to accept the fact that I can wear smaller clothes and look good. The last time I wore 1XL tee shirts was in high school... even then I wanted to wear bigger to hide my "fat". Now, though I still weigh more than I did then, I can comfortably get into some larges. That is very hard for me to accept. Sounds strange, I know, but with losing weight, there has to be a change in thinking as well, which is very difficult for someone like me with body image issues. Family and friends can tell me I look good all day long, but until I can fully know it in my heart and in my head, I will have trouble truly believing it.
-----------------
On the writing front, I have been in such a savage slump that I don't even feel a stirring of desire for it. (my desire for anything, actually, has been in a slump) I don't know if that's good or bad or if the timing will work out. The story that is going into the anthology is still in 'edit mode' though our editor has had other life things going on, so the project has been on hiatus for quite some time. I don't mind this at all since I just can't get myself to feel very creative right now.
Since I have been thinking of it the last few days, I wonder if the slump is starting to end. I have felt that teeny niggling stirring that says I should write. All That Matters is crying to finished. Gale and Karl are left hanging there waiting for me to finish their story. lol I will probably have to go back over the last few bits I wrote... I am not happy with it as I feel like I was pushing too hard. It feels very forced to me; I dunno. I'm hoping that the long break will allow me to have a fresh take on how to bring it to a conclusion. And that is something I really need to do. I've got lots of time invested in the story, now, to not finish it.
If I can manage that project, I have been thinking a series of free form drabble type things might be good. Like I mentioned, I have not been feeling very creative. That may have something to do with being out of touch with my very good online friends whom I consider muses. :)
-------------------
I won't even bother writing about other troubles, which are finance related and a bit embarrassing to write about. I do have some fragment of pride left somewhere. lol Stress from that very well could be contributing to my apathy lately. I don't want to deal with things. Rather bury myself in alternate realities than deal with the one I have to move the flesh-bot around in. You just can not function creatively while being numb on the inside; I believe it to be physically impossible. Even responding to emails has been painfully difficult. *sigh*
Anyway, I have a meeting with Gee's speech teacher in a bit, so I'm forced to stop rambling to myself. And this has fulfilled it's function as a means to kill time before the meeting. lol
----------------
Listening to: Evanescence - Lithium
http://foxytunes.com/artist/evanescence/track/lithium