(no subject)
sigh to think of the days when i never used this journal and just went on my own to live life, carefree, happy, problemless, but like any good thing it all must come down to an end and this time my friends it has come down and with it all hope.
my father is currently out of work on stress leave because his work is literally killing him, ive seen my dad change from a calm cool collective man to a snarly beast, one minute hes fine next hes yelling and screaming, he started drinking severly again like a 26oz a day of vodka. currently hes on rehab and seeing a psychiatrist. what many of you dont understand is that my father is the backbone of my household if he falls we all fall, seeing him go from normal to worse is one of the hardest things ever to watch. it has torn a hole in my family, each of us slowly snapping.
then theres my cousin who weighs 190lbs and shes only 9 years old, think im kidding? come on down to my house and you'll see her, she'll be dead by 20 if this keeps up and you cant say anything cause shes low self esteem and her mother doesnt help cause she just keeps throwing food into her mouth.
then theres my aunt who is having another child on the way, this being her fifth child, she has 2 daughters ages 9 and 6, a 2 yr old son and a 10 month old baby boy. now shes on stress leave from work and her husband is also on modified duties cause he was driving a ttc streetcar and hit a drunk transvestite (and i mean hit, the "it" walked in front of the bus and WHAM). they live in barrie and have a new house which they probably lose now cause both of them are on disability and only get part of their wages.
then theres my brother, oh my dear idiotic hardheaded brother, if hes not bitching about this, he wants that, everything he ever does is for himself and now i find out he may be buying the house from my parents if my dad ends up quitting from his job after this whole fiasco. meaning his house, his rules, his way, NOT MY WAY!
so you can excuse me if i miss dates or forget things or dont to places cause i frankly cant face anyone right now, i didnt go to matt johns bday party cause of it, cause i needed to get away and mike gave me the opportunity to get away from it all for awhile, when i was in toronto i barely spoke to anyone and if i did it lasted like 2 mins flat cause i had no need to speak with anyone unless it was mike cause hes the one who got me away, and even then mike was busy with the itg tourney so i got alot of time to myself and time to wander.
i should feel bad cause i said i was gonna go the party and then didnt show up and people apparently were bummed out but all im gonna say is this, when was the last time matt ever came for something of mine that i held or how many times has he ever said one thing then turned around and did the opposite, i know i can count more then how many fingers and toes i have.
frankly, the whole world can go fuck itself.
my father is currently out of work on stress leave because his work is literally killing him, ive seen my dad change from a calm cool collective man to a snarly beast, one minute hes fine next hes yelling and screaming, he started drinking severly again like a 26oz a day of vodka. currently hes on rehab and seeing a psychiatrist. what many of you dont understand is that my father is the backbone of my household if he falls we all fall, seeing him go from normal to worse is one of the hardest things ever to watch. it has torn a hole in my family, each of us slowly snapping.
then theres my cousin who weighs 190lbs and shes only 9 years old, think im kidding? come on down to my house and you'll see her, she'll be dead by 20 if this keeps up and you cant say anything cause shes low self esteem and her mother doesnt help cause she just keeps throwing food into her mouth.
then theres my aunt who is having another child on the way, this being her fifth child, she has 2 daughters ages 9 and 6, a 2 yr old son and a 10 month old baby boy. now shes on stress leave from work and her husband is also on modified duties cause he was driving a ttc streetcar and hit a drunk transvestite (and i mean hit, the "it" walked in front of the bus and WHAM). they live in barrie and have a new house which they probably lose now cause both of them are on disability and only get part of their wages.
then theres my brother, oh my dear idiotic hardheaded brother, if hes not bitching about this, he wants that, everything he ever does is for himself and now i find out he may be buying the house from my parents if my dad ends up quitting from his job after this whole fiasco. meaning his house, his rules, his way, NOT MY WAY!
so you can excuse me if i miss dates or forget things or dont to places cause i frankly cant face anyone right now, i didnt go to matt johns bday party cause of it, cause i needed to get away and mike gave me the opportunity to get away from it all for awhile, when i was in toronto i barely spoke to anyone and if i did it lasted like 2 mins flat cause i had no need to speak with anyone unless it was mike cause hes the one who got me away, and even then mike was busy with the itg tourney so i got alot of time to myself and time to wander.
i should feel bad cause i said i was gonna go the party and then didnt show up and people apparently were bummed out but all im gonna say is this, when was the last time matt ever came for something of mine that i held or how many times has he ever said one thing then turned around and did the opposite, i know i can count more then how many fingers and toes i have.
frankly, the whole world can go fuck itself.