The Uber Update of Late
Okay LiveJournal. You've asked me for it.... begged actually, so here it is. My uber update. *sigh* This will take a while:
To begin, I am now 28 going on 29. It's makes me oddly sad yet oddly not. I don't want to repeat my 20s by any means, but I feel like I've wasted some of the best years of my life. More on that story in a minute.
Here's the skinny on the here and now: I am still on SLIP from Delta. I will be back beginning May 1. I am stoked about that actually. This time away has reminded me (yet again) how much I just love that damn job and all the people in it. The travel is a nice bonus too. Anyone want to go to Europe with me? :)
However, in the interim I have been working diligently on school, which if I stick with the airline will be mostly useless in the short-term, but down the road it can help me in many ways. "Investing in my future." Anyway, I really am loving school this semester. I have been doing really well. All A's so far.
Socially I have been just recently starting to hang out with people again. I had become quite anti-social for a while so it's nice to smile and have fun. I have basically taken a long break from World of Warcraft. Only because I find myself too busy to play effectively. I miss the friends, but if I can get a real social life going, then my online social life will be able to be more fun whenever I can make the time to play
Romantically nothing has changed in a long while. I realized something a while ago that is completely true. I haven't moved past April of '06. I've tried, and I thought I had, but I am completely stuck hung up on my relationship with Joe. What I have come to understand is that I fell in love and I will always be in love, no matter if life changes. Understanding that I realize I have room in my heart to love someone else, as intensely if not more so, and it doesn't have to take the place of that former passion.
Let me be clear, it's not the Joe now in the present that I am in love with. It's the Joe from back then. The one who is always a part of me. The one who shares a part of my soul. Everything romantic in my life relates to him. It's similar to my first boyfriend Ryan. I never truly was "in" love with him, but I certainly cared deeply. I think of him sometimes when I meet guys. Usually it's because something about them reminds me of him. My first kiss with him was magical, and sets the stage for any other kiss afterward.
But I always think of Joe... every day. He is the comparison. It's odd because truly our relationship was very short. But (at least for me) it was very intense. It made an impression on my existence. I didn't handle the end of it well (as evidenced by some of the obvious things that I am blogging about now.... they should have been understood by me months afterwards, not years. Also the scars on my arms, and the emotional ones I have created are no fault but mine own.). But, I have reached the point where the haze has cleared and I can take that step forward. I know I won't be replacing that ever-present relationship from the past.... I will simply be supplementing it. Which makes me smile because it's so very true.
Things in life are starting to come together. I am making some realizations and starting to act (finally) to correct my mistakes. One foot in front of the other is still the modus operandi but it's starting to be more of a steady walk versus a step by step kind of think.
Inevitably I look around at my life though and I realize I am still in a rut. I may have fallen down a black hole and have climbed up to the rut level, but it's not something that's insurmountable to crawl out of anymore.
I (think) the solution to getting me out of rut-dom, is a comprehensive plan of getting back to the whole "living of life" thing I seem to have forgotten about. Earlier this year I fell off the face of the planet again (as I am wont to do every so often) and resurfaced marginally this summer, and fully gung-ho in the past month. I am going to be keeping with that trend. I am going to take it a step further too. Expect major changes in the life of Will over the next several months to include (but not be limited to):
Continued body modification. Maybe another piercing (as if four aren't enough), but I will certainly be adding to my tats. Whether that means expanding on the ones I have or getting something entirely new remains to be seen...maybe both, who knows...
Organization. My life is in "moderate" shambles in terms of where everything is. I need to go through, throw out the junk, and inventory my stuff. Everything is in such a disarray it doesn't lend anything to Feng or Shui or even Mr. Clean. Soon enough it will all be the epitome of perfection, just you wait and see.
Physical fitness. I have stemmed the flow caloric intake over the past few months and have actually started to lose a bit of weight. It's a pleasant sensation, but I am nowhere near done. Two words: "tip" and "iceberg". The physical retransformation into something moderately healthy will take several months, but there is always that one month where people suddenly don't recognize you and can't stop thinking how "great" you look. I'm looking forward to that which should hit somewhere around Christmas if my calculations are correct. :)
Appearance. I am a fairly hygienic person. I shower every day and I try to be well groomed. However, I have decided to step it up a huge notch and get regular manicures, pedicures, haircuts, etc... Those actually make a huge difference in how people respond, so it's time I started to pay attention and not neglect those tasks. Soon enough I will get my teeth whitened. Hallelujah I know.
Friends. I have a large pool of friends that I have left unmaintained. Unfortunately that will have meant I have lost several. But hopefully I can re-cultivate the soil of friendship with a solid portion of those I am either too far away from or out of contact with. I am working on that now with friends from work and starting to actively reconnect with those on Facebook from days of yore. I need to start visiting people with all my free flying that I got.
Dating. It's such a touchy subject for me, because I can always find a reason to "not" date. And when I do date I seem to either hurt someone or get hurt which is not fun on either end. But, I am going to attribute that attitude to cowardice on my part and being focused on the wrong things. My failures in past dating situations (whether it was with David, Nick, Neal, or Robert) are in the past plain and simple. I know what I did wrong, and how to correct my mistakes. It's now time for me to start stepping up to the plate again. If I don't work with the bat, how am I expected to make contact with any balls? Pun TOTALLY intended. :)
I am going to start keeping a regular journal (whether it be LJ, a different blog, or even pen and paper) about how my life is going and what I need to do to stay on track. I am trying to focus on being positive most of the time, and I am pretty good about keeping my Twitter all updated (sometimes multiple times a day!).
So, I will be 29 in December. It's time to end my third decade of life with some excitement, fun, and positivity! :)
Well, I am sure there will be more to come later, but it's 4AM and I need to sleep. Feel free to comment with praise or criticism. I know that I have blogged about some of this before. I can't tell you exactly what has changed to make me more realistically optimistic this time. All I can do is prove it I suppose. Anyway, catch you later LiveJournal old friend. :)
To begin, I am now 28 going on 29. It's makes me oddly sad yet oddly not. I don't want to repeat my 20s by any means, but I feel like I've wasted some of the best years of my life. More on that story in a minute.
Here's the skinny on the here and now: I am still on SLIP from Delta. I will be back beginning May 1. I am stoked about that actually. This time away has reminded me (yet again) how much I just love that damn job and all the people in it. The travel is a nice bonus too. Anyone want to go to Europe with me? :)
However, in the interim I have been working diligently on school, which if I stick with the airline will be mostly useless in the short-term, but down the road it can help me in many ways. "Investing in my future." Anyway, I really am loving school this semester. I have been doing really well. All A's so far.
Socially I have been just recently starting to hang out with people again. I had become quite anti-social for a while so it's nice to smile and have fun. I have basically taken a long break from World of Warcraft. Only because I find myself too busy to play effectively. I miss the friends, but if I can get a real social life going, then my online social life will be able to be more fun whenever I can make the time to play
Romantically nothing has changed in a long while. I realized something a while ago that is completely true. I haven't moved past April of '06. I've tried, and I thought I had, but I am completely stuck hung up on my relationship with Joe. What I have come to understand is that I fell in love and I will always be in love, no matter if life changes. Understanding that I realize I have room in my heart to love someone else, as intensely if not more so, and it doesn't have to take the place of that former passion.
Let me be clear, it's not the Joe now in the present that I am in love with. It's the Joe from back then. The one who is always a part of me. The one who shares a part of my soul. Everything romantic in my life relates to him. It's similar to my first boyfriend Ryan. I never truly was "in" love with him, but I certainly cared deeply. I think of him sometimes when I meet guys. Usually it's because something about them reminds me of him. My first kiss with him was magical, and sets the stage for any other kiss afterward.
But I always think of Joe... every day. He is the comparison. It's odd because truly our relationship was very short. But (at least for me) it was very intense. It made an impression on my existence. I didn't handle the end of it well (as evidenced by some of the obvious things that I am blogging about now.... they should have been understood by me months afterwards, not years. Also the scars on my arms, and the emotional ones I have created are no fault but mine own.). But, I have reached the point where the haze has cleared and I can take that step forward. I know I won't be replacing that ever-present relationship from the past.... I will simply be supplementing it. Which makes me smile because it's so very true.
Things in life are starting to come together. I am making some realizations and starting to act (finally) to correct my mistakes. One foot in front of the other is still the modus operandi but it's starting to be more of a steady walk versus a step by step kind of think.
Inevitably I look around at my life though and I realize I am still in a rut. I may have fallen down a black hole and have climbed up to the rut level, but it's not something that's insurmountable to crawl out of anymore.
I (think) the solution to getting me out of rut-dom, is a comprehensive plan of getting back to the whole "living of life" thing I seem to have forgotten about. Earlier this year I fell off the face of the planet again (as I am wont to do every so often) and resurfaced marginally this summer, and fully gung-ho in the past month. I am going to be keeping with that trend. I am going to take it a step further too. Expect major changes in the life of Will over the next several months to include (but not be limited to):
Continued body modification. Maybe another piercing (as if four aren't enough), but I will certainly be adding to my tats. Whether that means expanding on the ones I have or getting something entirely new remains to be seen...maybe both, who knows...
Organization. My life is in "moderate" shambles in terms of where everything is. I need to go through, throw out the junk, and inventory my stuff. Everything is in such a disarray it doesn't lend anything to Feng or Shui or even Mr. Clean. Soon enough it will all be the epitome of perfection, just you wait and see.
Physical fitness. I have stemmed the flow caloric intake over the past few months and have actually started to lose a bit of weight. It's a pleasant sensation, but I am nowhere near done. Two words: "tip" and "iceberg". The physical retransformation into something moderately healthy will take several months, but there is always that one month where people suddenly don't recognize you and can't stop thinking how "great" you look. I'm looking forward to that which should hit somewhere around Christmas if my calculations are correct. :)
Appearance. I am a fairly hygienic person. I shower every day and I try to be well groomed. However, I have decided to step it up a huge notch and get regular manicures, pedicures, haircuts, etc... Those actually make a huge difference in how people respond, so it's time I started to pay attention and not neglect those tasks. Soon enough I will get my teeth whitened. Hallelujah I know.
Friends. I have a large pool of friends that I have left unmaintained. Unfortunately that will have meant I have lost several. But hopefully I can re-cultivate the soil of friendship with a solid portion of those I am either too far away from or out of contact with. I am working on that now with friends from work and starting to actively reconnect with those on Facebook from days of yore. I need to start visiting people with all my free flying that I got.
Dating. It's such a touchy subject for me, because I can always find a reason to "not" date. And when I do date I seem to either hurt someone or get hurt which is not fun on either end. But, I am going to attribute that attitude to cowardice on my part and being focused on the wrong things. My failures in past dating situations (whether it was with David, Nick, Neal, or Robert) are in the past plain and simple. I know what I did wrong, and how to correct my mistakes. It's now time for me to start stepping up to the plate again. If I don't work with the bat, how am I expected to make contact with any balls? Pun TOTALLY intended. :)
I am going to start keeping a regular journal (whether it be LJ, a different blog, or even pen and paper) about how my life is going and what I need to do to stay on track. I am trying to focus on being positive most of the time, and I am pretty good about keeping my Twitter all updated (sometimes multiple times a day!).
So, I will be 29 in December. It's time to end my third decade of life with some excitement, fun, and positivity! :)
Well, I am sure there will be more to come later, but it's 4AM and I need to sleep. Feel free to comment with praise or criticism. I know that I have blogged about some of this before. I can't tell you exactly what has changed to make me more realistically optimistic this time. All I can do is prove it I suppose. Anyway, catch you later LiveJournal old friend. :)