Art. This Shit Is Crazy: Seven Works of Western Medieval Art Everybody Needs to Know.

[wizzard890]

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Find somebody. Anybody. Go up to them. Say the phrase “Renaissance art”. I can guarantee you that the following thoughts will go through their head.

Comments

[pyrrhiccomedy]

I have learned things!

Seriously, why couldn't you have taught my art classes? I might have actually cared. As it is, most days I can't keep Monet straight from Manet, and 70% of what I remember from Art History class was the professor entreating me to give a shit about pointillism. (Not gonna happen.) Or telling me for the ninety-seventh time that story about how Van Gogh cut off part of his ear because some girl he had a crush on wouldn't return his calls.

What I'm saying is, this was entertaining, and you have to walk pretty goddamn far to get me entertained by art history, unless we're talking about the French being catty assholes after WW2.

Also you are a genius, and I love you.

...Hee hee. "Ye olde love machine."

[wizzard890]

70% of what I remember from Art History class was the professor entreating me to give a shit about pointillism.

That is 70% wasted, then. Like. Hey, I drew a picture with dots once too, you know. In art class. In sixth grade. It was a raccoon. It sucked, just like the vast majority of pointillist paintings.

unless we're talking about the French being catty assholes after WW2.

...Oh man. If I had a better grasp on post-WWII art, I would totally artpost this for you. Uh. Well, I suppose there is always wikipedia to help me...Maybe it can be, like, a semi-birthday present. It will take at least until May for me to put together something worthy of the topic.

ONE ORDER OF CATTY FRENCHMEN, COMING RIGHT UP. ♥ Who also have mustaches for the steering of le love machine.

[pyrrhiccomedy]

=DDDD

IF YOU ARTPOST ABOUT POST-WW2 ART I WILL HISTORYPOST ABOUT

UH

SOMETHING.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT? IF IT HAPPENED IN THE LAST FOUR HUNDRED YEARS, I CAN PROBABLY HELP.

Who also have mustaches for the steering of le love machine.

I think it'd be, like, le machine d'amour.

Alternately, I would accept a "Catty Frenchmen Through The Ages" artpost.

[wizzard890]

OH MY GOSH REALLY REALLY REALLY? =DDD

I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MANY THINGS, ARIAS.

LIKE THE ROARING 20'S.

AND THE FRENCH AND INDIAN WAR.

AND OLIVER CROMWELL.

AND THE FRENCH FUCKING REVOLUTION.

I think it'd be, like, le machine d'amour

See icon.

"Catty Frenchmen Through The Ages."

Fucking done, baby. ♥

[pyrrhiccomedy]

LIKE THE ROARING 20'S.

That is super broad! Is there anything you want to know about the 20s specifically? Prohibition, the women's suffrage movement, Post-Boning Europe, the rise of American culture, etc?

AND THE FRENCH AND INDIAN WAR.

FUCK YOU THERE WERE FOUR OF THEM. Here, I'll summarize them for you right now:

The French: "Hey, Native American peoples, doesn't it blow having all these English guys on your land?"
The Native Americans, Particularly The Iroquois And The Other Five Lodges Nations: "And how!"
The French: "Well let's drive them off! We're so with you!"
The Native Americans: "Fuck and yes!"

Meanwhile...

The British: "What? Oh, again?"
The American colonists: "Hey, fight these guys off for us and we'll so keep paying our taxes and being good colonists and not causing a ruckus or revolutionizing in any way, shape, or form."
The British: "Sounds like a deal! And hey, once we drive them off for good, you'll be so grateful that you won't revolt ever, right?"
The American colonists, with their fingers crossed behind

[wizzard890]

OH MY GOD I AM SITTING HERE DYING WHY IS THIS SO PERFECT.

Um um um.

the rise of Puritanism and the overthrow of the monarchy?

This! This shiny thing right here! Can has? =D

I CAN'T BE FUNNY ABOUT THE FRENCH REVOLUTION. I CARE TOO FUCKING MUCH.

I adore you.

[pyrrhiccomedy]

This! This shiny thing right here! Can has? =D

The English Civil War? I can do that for you, baby. =D