I'm Slowly Losing Faith In Humanity.
To the man who’s been preaching outside the Union for the past 2 days:
You’re doing it wrong, moron.
Honestly, I’ve never been so embarrassed to be called a Christian. Except, oh yeah, I’m not anymore. This dude revoked my Christian card. You read that right. I had the audacity to suggest that once a person was saved, they could still sin. Apparently I’ve missed a crucial point in doctrine, because this guy was pretty damn sure he hadn’t committed a sin since Life In Christ Day One. I was going to ask if he’d ever looked lustfully at a woman, but his wife was right there and the question pretty much answered itself. I’d be looking lustfully at prairie dogs if I was hitched to someone like that. Anyway, he called into the question the salvation of everyone present, made one professed Christian girl run off crying, and shouted down a pretty Muslim about my age. Seriously dude. You suck.
But that’s not all, folks. He’s managed to piss off everyone on campus. He hates the usual list of things: gays, pot-smokers, drunks, sex before marriage, sex in general, weak men, women who don’t stay in the home where they belong, other religions (especially Muslims and Jews. Because we all know about those kinds of people), sports fans, people who read things besides the Bible, and “dykes on bikes”. The last one is a tad puzzling. If a “dyke” was riding a mo-ped or something would she have his approval? Doesn’t matter.
I wish I could explain how hilarious yesterday was. There must have been about 200 people surrounding this guy, the cops had to come, and the Dean kept yelling at us all to keep back. Three best moments, though?
3) Everyone was smoking. Everyone. I must have been the only person without a cigarette between my fingers. The smell was unbearable. The best part was that people were acting like they were rebelling, sticking it to the man, so to speak. The fact that sucking down a cigar is totally legal for us must have slipped their minds. You show ‘em, college students!
2) About 2 hours into the sermon/rant/riot, a bunch of Muslim guys brought out a boom box (yup, straight up 80s) and started playing Highway to Hell. Funniest thing I’ve ever seen. (And the best thing about young Muslim men is that they all tend to dress a certain way. Super-nice shirts, jeans that cost more than my bike, slicked-back hair, and aviators. Even indoors. Especially indoors.)
1) The cops were laughing. Sure, they tried to act like they were all business, but a couple of them were standing near me and they thought this guy was as big a f-tard as we did. It’s nice to know our boys in blue are on our side. Well, until we drink…
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