Me! Me! I Watch The Watchmen!
Ten Reasons The New Watchmen Trailer Rocks (And Two Reasons It Doesn't)
10: The shot of the Two Towers at 35 seconds in. Also President Nixon’s face on the television monitors behind Veit, er, Ozymandius, er…Yeah, I’m just going to use their “superhero” names. Despite the fact I don’t really want to type “Ozymandius” a bunch of times. See the sacrifices I make to keep this blog spoiler-free?
9: The Silk Spectre slinking down the stairs in that yellow jumpsuit. I mean, I’m a chick, and even I re-watched that part a couple times. Mee-yow!
8: Oh my gosh, Dr. Manhattan. I just can’t believe they got him right. The look, I mean. I know it doesn’t sound so hard on paper. All Zack Snyder and co. had to do was create a giant blue guy, but my imagination ran wild with the number of ways they could screw him up. I had these horrible images of a shaved, totally nude Billy Crudup tearing around the set looking like a member of the Blue Man Group. I guess my fears were unfounded. The final visual is incredible, god-like even. Just the way Dr. Manhattan should be.
7: Rorschach practicing his own special brand of home invasion at the 51 second mark. The man’s a freaking McGyver with that hairspray.
6: The first real shot of the Comedian. What better way to introduce a character like that than showing him toasting the Viet Cong? And enjoying it. (Oh, and for the uninitiated, check out the badge he’s wearing on his shoulder. You’ll be seeing a lot more of that smiley face in the upcoming marketing campaign.)
5: Ozymandius utterly PWNING that guy (whose identity I will not reveal for spoiler-ific reasons) at 1:51. The slow-mo slide into the koi pond was a nice touch. Just because you’re the smartest man in the world doesn’t mean you can’t kick some ass.
4: The full-frontal Dr. Manhattan nudity we get at 1:18. No, seriously. Despite the fact that said junk is a tad out of focus, I think it’s a really good sign that Snyder included it. Dr. Manhattan is not a character that applies social norms to his own existence. Or even understands the point of them. Putting him in clothing (when he doesn’t absolutely have to be) isn’t staying true to who Manhattan is. The total lack of XXX-L Fruit of the Looms is sending me some positive vibes.
3: The soundtrack. How effective is that? I’m thrilled they used the only Smashing Pumpkins song that doesn’t trigger my instinctive gag reflex. But I love how dark it is, and slow like a march. The march toward midnight.
2: Nite Owl and the Comedian trying to calm the mob at 1:37. The ship looks awesome and I can’t wait to see those two in action.
1: I decided that the phrase “Rorschach’s awesomeness” wouldn’t be the most mature thing for me to use to top this list. So I’ll go for his dialogue instead. He’s got the only words in the whole trailer, and his line is arguably one of my favorite lines in the entire book: “All the whores and politicians will look up and shout save us!’ And I’ll whisper, ‘no’.” It pretty much survived intact in the trailer, minus the “whores” part. But what can you do? Those words lay out one of Watchmen’s biggest themes, and I’m so glad Snyder chose to include them in the footage.
Well now. I couldn’t bear to end this post on a positive note, so here are the reason the trailer lacked awesomeness. (Note, there are only two.)
1: The slo-mo. Look Zack, I get that it’s your calling card. I get that it’ll help the average moviegoer make the connection between those oiled Spartans and the Comedian being shoved out a window. But don’t go too heavy on it. One of my favorite parts about Watchmen is that it takes place in the real world (or as real as a world can be when you’ve got Dr. Manhattan blowing shit up with his mind). The “costumed adventurers” are washed-up, retired. Nite Owl has a beer gut, for heaven’s sake! Don’t be afraid to sacrifice the fireworks for the characters, mmkay?
2: Okay, at about 1:32, we see Nite Owl fall to his knees in the snow, screaming in anguish. Very dramatic, very nice. But there’s a problem. If this is the scene I think it is, then Zach Snyder will have changed a pivotal moment in the story. A moment that I think is key to not only the concepts and themes of the book, but also to the development of a certain character. I won’t lie to you, this worries me. Alot. I hope to God that I’m wrong.
Forty bucks says I lose my mind before March rolls around.
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Click to view10: The shot of the Two Towers at 35 seconds in. Also President Nixon’s face on the television monitors behind Veit, er, Ozymandius, er…Yeah, I’m just going to use their “superhero” names. Despite the fact I don’t really want to type “Ozymandius” a bunch of times. See the sacrifices I make to keep this blog spoiler-free?
9: The Silk Spectre slinking down the stairs in that yellow jumpsuit. I mean, I’m a chick, and even I re-watched that part a couple times. Mee-yow!
8: Oh my gosh, Dr. Manhattan. I just can’t believe they got him right. The look, I mean. I know it doesn’t sound so hard on paper. All Zack Snyder and co. had to do was create a giant blue guy, but my imagination ran wild with the number of ways they could screw him up. I had these horrible images of a shaved, totally nude Billy Crudup tearing around the set looking like a member of the Blue Man Group. I guess my fears were unfounded. The final visual is incredible, god-like even. Just the way Dr. Manhattan should be.
7: Rorschach practicing his own special brand of home invasion at the 51 second mark. The man’s a freaking McGyver with that hairspray.
6: The first real shot of the Comedian. What better way to introduce a character like that than showing him toasting the Viet Cong? And enjoying it. (Oh, and for the uninitiated, check out the badge he’s wearing on his shoulder. You’ll be seeing a lot more of that smiley face in the upcoming marketing campaign.)
5: Ozymandius utterly PWNING that guy (whose identity I will not reveal for spoiler-ific reasons) at 1:51. The slow-mo slide into the koi pond was a nice touch. Just because you’re the smartest man in the world doesn’t mean you can’t kick some ass.
4: The full-frontal Dr. Manhattan nudity we get at 1:18. No, seriously. Despite the fact that said junk is a tad out of focus, I think it’s a really good sign that Snyder included it. Dr. Manhattan is not a character that applies social norms to his own existence. Or even understands the point of them. Putting him in clothing (when he doesn’t absolutely have to be) isn’t staying true to who Manhattan is. The total lack of XXX-L Fruit of the Looms is sending me some positive vibes.
3: The soundtrack. How effective is that? I’m thrilled they used the only Smashing Pumpkins song that doesn’t trigger my instinctive gag reflex. But I love how dark it is, and slow like a march. The march toward midnight.
2: Nite Owl and the Comedian trying to calm the mob at 1:37. The ship looks awesome and I can’t wait to see those two in action.
1: I decided that the phrase “Rorschach’s awesomeness” wouldn’t be the most mature thing for me to use to top this list. So I’ll go for his dialogue instead. He’s got the only words in the whole trailer, and his line is arguably one of my favorite lines in the entire book: “All the whores and politicians will look up and shout save us!’ And I’ll whisper, ‘no’.” It pretty much survived intact in the trailer, minus the “whores” part. But what can you do? Those words lay out one of Watchmen’s biggest themes, and I’m so glad Snyder chose to include them in the footage.
Well now. I couldn’t bear to end this post on a positive note, so here are the reason the trailer lacked awesomeness. (Note, there are only two.)
1: The slo-mo. Look Zack, I get that it’s your calling card. I get that it’ll help the average moviegoer make the connection between those oiled Spartans and the Comedian being shoved out a window. But don’t go too heavy on it. One of my favorite parts about Watchmen is that it takes place in the real world (or as real as a world can be when you’ve got Dr. Manhattan blowing shit up with his mind). The “costumed adventurers” are washed-up, retired. Nite Owl has a beer gut, for heaven’s sake! Don’t be afraid to sacrifice the fireworks for the characters, mmkay?
2: Okay, at about 1:32, we see Nite Owl fall to his knees in the snow, screaming in anguish. Very dramatic, very nice. But there’s a problem. If this is the scene I think it is, then Zach Snyder will have changed a pivotal moment in the story. A moment that I think is key to not only the concepts and themes of the book, but also to the development of a certain character. I won’t lie to you, this worries me. Alot. I hope to God that I’m wrong.
Forty bucks says I lose my mind before March rolls around.
+