she says the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to
an excerpt from one of my favorite books, Dejame Que Te Cuente, translated for your reading pleasure. it's not too exciting actually, but it's one of my favorite parts of the book and i cried the first time i read it. for reading's sake, the narrator is Demian and he is going to therapy with a man named Jorge. this is a reflection of Demian's on the purpose of going through therapy and trying to figure out who he is in the world and the difficulty of becoming that person.
"Difficult, right?
Almost impossible?
Or maybe... frankly impossible?
How do you live being different?
What sense does it make to live tormented?
Can one live another way being lucid or at least having a clear mind?
If it wasn't like this, why work with myself?
For what purpose do i use therapy?
What is the function of a therapist? To disorient the people he or she is supposedly going to see because they suffer?
What am i doing in this search?
So what i'm doing is substituting my suffering for another, one which doesn't even have the comfort of being shared by others?
What is psychotherapy? An enormous fabrication of frustrations for "exquisites"?
Something like a sect of sadists, inventors of sophistocated methods of refined and exclusive torture?
Is it true that it's better to suffer a reality than enjoy the ignorance of a made-up world?
For what purpose can one use the consciousness of solitude and the existencial obligation with oneself?
What advantage, please tell me, what advantage is there in habituating yourself to not expecting anything from anybody?
If is tangible world is garbage, if real people are shit, if the authentic situations in our lives are a pain in the ass, would you be sane in bathing yourself in excrement and swimming among the wastes of humanity?
Wouldn't religion be justified in offering comfort there for what you can't obtain here?
Wouldn't they also be justified in putting all the work on an all-powerful God who will become part of us if we behave well?
Isn't it easier to behave well than to be myself?
Isn't it by any chance more useful and easy to accept the concept of good and bad that everyone accepts as true?
Or at least, wouldn't it be better to do everything like everyone else in a world that works like everyone agrees on everything?
Wouldn't witches and mages and magical healers be justified in trying to heal us with the magic of our faith?
Wouldn't they be in the right those who bet on the unlimited capacity we have to exercise control with our minds over all facts and external situations?
Isn't it true that in reality nothing exists outside of me and my life is only a little nightmare of things, people and facts invented by my creative imagination?
Who can believe that whatever happens is the only possibility?
And if it's like that, what's the advantage of knowing more about this posibility?
What obligation does another person have to understand me?
What obligation do they have to accept me?
What obligation do they have to listen to me?
What obligation do they have to approve of me?
What obligation do they have to not lie to me?
What obligation do they have to keep me in mind?
What obligation do they have to love me the way i'd like them to?
What obligation do they have to love me as much as i'd like them to?
What obligation does any other person have to love me?
What obligation do they have to respect me?
What obligation do they have to find out that i exist?
If nobody knows that i exist, why do i exist?
If my existence doesn't make any sense without another person, how could i not sacrifice anything, yes, ANYTHING, so that that sense stays within my reach?
...And if the path from the birth canal to the coffin is solitary, why trick ourselves into thinking we could find company?"
goodnight.
"Difficult, right?
Almost impossible?
Or maybe... frankly impossible?
How do you live being different?
What sense does it make to live tormented?
Can one live another way being lucid or at least having a clear mind?
If it wasn't like this, why work with myself?
For what purpose do i use therapy?
What is the function of a therapist? To disorient the people he or she is supposedly going to see because they suffer?
What am i doing in this search?
So what i'm doing is substituting my suffering for another, one which doesn't even have the comfort of being shared by others?
What is psychotherapy? An enormous fabrication of frustrations for "exquisites"?
Something like a sect of sadists, inventors of sophistocated methods of refined and exclusive torture?
Is it true that it's better to suffer a reality than enjoy the ignorance of a made-up world?
For what purpose can one use the consciousness of solitude and the existencial obligation with oneself?
What advantage, please tell me, what advantage is there in habituating yourself to not expecting anything from anybody?
If is tangible world is garbage, if real people are shit, if the authentic situations in our lives are a pain in the ass, would you be sane in bathing yourself in excrement and swimming among the wastes of humanity?
Wouldn't religion be justified in offering comfort there for what you can't obtain here?
Wouldn't they also be justified in putting all the work on an all-powerful God who will become part of us if we behave well?
Isn't it easier to behave well than to be myself?
Isn't it by any chance more useful and easy to accept the concept of good and bad that everyone accepts as true?
Or at least, wouldn't it be better to do everything like everyone else in a world that works like everyone agrees on everything?
Wouldn't witches and mages and magical healers be justified in trying to heal us with the magic of our faith?
Wouldn't they be in the right those who bet on the unlimited capacity we have to exercise control with our minds over all facts and external situations?
Isn't it true that in reality nothing exists outside of me and my life is only a little nightmare of things, people and facts invented by my creative imagination?
Who can believe that whatever happens is the only possibility?
And if it's like that, what's the advantage of knowing more about this posibility?
What obligation does another person have to understand me?
What obligation do they have to accept me?
What obligation do they have to listen to me?
What obligation do they have to approve of me?
What obligation do they have to not lie to me?
What obligation do they have to keep me in mind?
What obligation do they have to love me the way i'd like them to?
What obligation do they have to love me as much as i'd like them to?
What obligation does any other person have to love me?
What obligation do they have to respect me?
What obligation do they have to find out that i exist?
If nobody knows that i exist, why do i exist?
If my existence doesn't make any sense without another person, how could i not sacrifice anything, yes, ANYTHING, so that that sense stays within my reach?
...And if the path from the birth canal to the coffin is solitary, why trick ourselves into thinking we could find company?"
goodnight.