i'm in love!
God I dont know how to describe my feelings.SOOOO Happy is one for sure,the others i have no idea but they're all good!!I'm NOT complaining!I sould be asleep but u know what? I just got home an I feel soo Awake an just never better!Partly because of my big surprise..(Thank You Chris I had no idea you would drive to come see me, i feel loved Thats one of the best things anyones ever done for me !!)...an partly becuz i've felt this way for months an Months now an i'm just so glad!God You have no idea.I've done a complete turn around on the whole realtionship thing.Use to bother me an now I know exactly what i want.It feels good to finally know exactly what i want an also now that my mind is made up there's no turning back!I have no desire to anyway!I mean really an truly my mind was made up LONG ago an just now things are coming together.But i feel so lucky right now.So lucky an soooo...geez i dont even have a word..I could say Happy but Happy doesnt even begin to describe what i feel at this moment!I could talk about it forever an an still never even touch on what exactly i'm feeling at this point in time.So i guess it doesnt have a name but i dont care..Cuz it's all mine!And i absolutely love it!There's no way i'm gonna lose this!!I've come to the conclusion that whatever happens,happens an i'm gonna try an hold on for as long as i can.Because really this is the best thing to happen to me since god knows when!So if its so wonderful then i'll do what i can to help see things through.I dont wanna get hurt but there's always a chance an i could be the one hurting someone else but if it's in my power i'll do all that i can to make sure that i dont!Nothing's ever just fell in my lap like this.This was completely unplanned,everything about it is so unusual an yet I get this impression that its soo Right!Like i cant go wrong.But ya know its totally amazing how after months an months of contemplating,pondering,putting off that now i've begun to realize that i cant hold this off any longer an i wont !It needs to happen!i have nothing to ponder or contemplate about becuz inevitably it's gonna happen an I so want it to!At this point nothing else feels more right then for this to happen an i'm just Happy!I Hope You feel the same way too...Becuz i've never felt like this an i love it so i hope i'm not alone.I dont even know what to say! I'm scared that i'm sounding too forward but god u just dont know.U really dont becuz i cant even tell u!I can barely put it into words its that amazing an overwhelming!Weve had soo many talks about it,so many phone calls all sayin the same thing.So i'll lay it out for u like this becuz i think u should know...I just know i dont want this feeling to go away an if this happens...I hope to god it works out!i cant lose you...You've become my best friend kinda an WAY more,someone i could see myself with! You mean soo much to me!I have to have u in my life i dont care how anymore but i cant see myself w/o you! just thought u should know....