"IT"
Im done talkin about "it", I feel understood,i mean yea, becuz its and an easily understood subject but i dont feel like talking about it is heloing me,unless it were someone that could tell me how they got through it and how they felt,and since the second party involved doesnt know what the heck to expect either its only fair to assume that that person will not help ease my anxiety unless they could reassure me which cannot be done.Going back to the whole "dont know what to expect either" dealio.And to be honest talkin about it makes me feel like im getting ahead of myself and i too hate it,but its somethin i havent been able to control.That whole "it" thing is something that strikes a nerve with me. Obviously becuz i feel for u and i care about u and it just makes me wonder "whats next"..i know everyone has those feelings so i try and stay positive,that how i am im optomistic..but i cant help but think about both the positives and negatives,as i tend to weigh decisions and what not in order to convince myself that there's more good then bad. and i see the good, but the bad is a reality and it hurts a little.i dont expect to cry with me, feel bad with me/for me...becuz i dont even know what im thinking and feeling really. its just something new for me thats all.
i feel like im being kinda dumb by thinking about this right now, but i guess i dont like feeling helpless or out of control. Becuz i plan ahead im so use to having atleast a vague idea of whats in store but this time, i couldnt even tell ya?! but im gonna try to let it go for now and just say that its out of my hands. Whatever happens will happen.I honestly dont think either one of us can steer this one in any certain direction.for once im just going along for the ride.i wanted to talk to someone about it but i think that nobody could really give me any sorta answer that could satisfy me.I wanna know where i go from here,but at this second and moment in time,im pretty much sick of worrying.i dont care..
i feel like im being kinda dumb by thinking about this right now, but i guess i dont like feeling helpless or out of control. Becuz i plan ahead im so use to having atleast a vague idea of whats in store but this time, i couldnt even tell ya?! but im gonna try to let it go for now and just say that its out of my hands. Whatever happens will happen.I honestly dont think either one of us can steer this one in any certain direction.for once im just going along for the ride.i wanted to talk to someone about it but i think that nobody could really give me any sorta answer that could satisfy me.I wanna know where i go from here,but at this second and moment in time,im pretty much sick of worrying.i dont care..