A Flat Line Chapter 3
Author: wizardesslyn
Title: A Flat Line (Part 4 of my A Thin Line series)
BETA: mhobbs0430
Word Count: 1447
Pairing: Adam/Kris/Aaron, past mentions of Adam/Tommy, Adam/Brad, Tommy/Kris, Adam/OMC (Even)
Rating: PG to NC 17 (will be posted at the beginning of each chapter)
Warnings: Past character death, DID/MPD, PTSD, cursing, slash, cute little girls, angry men, bossy mothers and angst...lots of angst with a nice mix of smex and fun times.
Disclaimer: FICTION....this is all made up, for fun. I think that covers it.
Summary: Adam retreats with-in his mind and Aaron is left to deal with the fall-out. Kris is living with Aaron and taking care of Hope. How will Adam/Aaron deal with Even's death? Can Kris hang around long enough for them to find their way back to each other? Or is the line between friendship and lovers too thin to hold up under the stress?
Banner by the wonderful groffiction
A/N: This chapter is PG. Don't hate me...
Adam stood looking in the mirror, trying to tamp down his nerves. He had felt the anger that radiated off of Kris as he had left the kitchen, and he knew that when he faced the man, he was going to feel it full force. It had been a long time coming. He knew that he deserved whatever Kris had to say to him. He had left Kris to deal with the aftermath of everything once again. Kris had every right to be angry. He just hoped that he could stay present and not flee in the face of that anger.
“Stay on the inside, Aaron. I need to deal with this.”
In his mind he heard his other half whispering to him heatedly, ‘Don’t you hurt him!’
“I never meant to hurt him.” One lone tear made its way down his cheek and he wiped it away quickly. If he started crying, he didn’t know if he would ever stop. Too much pain was bottled up to let it out right now.
He took one last look at himself in the mirror, squared his shoulders, and went to take the ‘dressing down’ he knew Kris was dying to give him.
~~~~
Kris was so damn angry, he was shaking. How dare Adam pop back up and take control! Who did he think he was anyway? Leaving for six months and leaving Kris to deal with his love for Aaron, for Adam, and his guilt over Even. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? He paced back and forth in the living room waiting for Adam to come down and face the music. He built himself into a furious frenzy.
He didn’t even see or hear him come down the stairs he was so occupied with his thoughts.
“Kris?”
He jumped and turned around quickly. The wet look in Adam’s eyes registered in his brain but didn’t make it to his heart or his mouth. He launched in to Adam immediately.
“Where the fuck have you been for the last six months? Did you have a good vacation? Do you feel better? And you wait, until the morning after we’ve made love to come back? What the fuck, Adam? Do you have any idea how angry I am at you? How fucking scared I was that you would never show back up? How could you do that to your daughter? How could you do that to me?” Kris was panting from his anger he was so pissed off. “Did you think about anyone but yourself? Did you? Huh?”
Adam stood in the face of all that anger and tried his best not to leave, not to flee and not to cry. He could feel the edges blurring and fought to maintain control, to stay present.
Kris was pacing back and forth in front of Adam, not looking at him, holding tight to his anger and his need to speak his mind. “You have no idea what it’s been like, living here with you, not being able to touch you. And then you touched me and now?” He sighed, having burned through the adrenaline rush of his initial anger. “Now, I don’t even know…if…you…”, he hiccupped, cursing himself for the weakness as tears formed in his eyes, “Damn it! I don’t even know if you want me now after…” He slumped and threw himself onto the sofa, trying and failing to keep the tears in check. He looked straight into Adam’s watery blue eyes. “I’m not your goddamned doormat. I won’t let you wipe your feet on me and discard me again. I’m not that man anymore. Tommy taught me that, along with you.” Kris looked away. “I can’t keep doing this,” he whispered.
He sat there, eye to eye with Adam, the man he had always loved more than any other, his chin jutted out, defiant.
~~~~
Adam’s eyes filled with tears, but he refused to let them fall. He heard Aaron laughing and whispering how beautiful Kris was when he was angry. Even through his pain, guilt and need to cry, Adam had to agree. Kris was indeed a thing of beauty in that moment.
Adam took a long hard look at his best friend, his lover, his long time support. Kris’s eyes were leaking, running down his cheeks that were red from his anger and probably partially from his embarrassment. He was still shirtless, his well honed pecs and abdomen had a light sheen of sweat from his pacing, more than likely. He was sucking in breathes in hitched pants, trying his best not to wail. Lifting his eyes back to those deep brown ones, he saw the hurt and pain, the confusion, the defiance and the desire. He couldn’t deny he had always loved Kris, had always wanted to protect him and keep him from being harmed, even when he was the one doing the damage.
Like he was now. He wanted to hold Kris, desperately, to tell him everything was going to be okay. But he didn’t know if everything was going to be okay. He didn’t know if he was going to be okay. He had loved Even; part of him would always love Even.
‘But we loved Kris first…’ Aaron whispered inside his ear.
Adam nodded his head in response to Aaron and opened his arms to Kris without speaking.
~~~~
Kris squeezed his hands into tight fists, trying to keep himself under control. Tears still leaked down his face that made him feel weak. His face felt hot and he wanted to wipe away the tears but was terrified to move. He didn’t know if he could keep the waning control in place.
He watched Adam watching him, looking at him with something he couldn’t place in his eyes. For a moment, Adam’s eyes went steel and Kris was sure that Aaron was up front and present but Adam’s eyes faded back into the saddened soft blue. His breathe hitched again and he let out a squeaking sound that embarrassed him even more.
Adam nodded his head and then opened his arms toward Kris.
Without a thought, Kris lunged into those arms and lost some of his hard fought for control, crying into Adam’s strong chest.
Before he could stop himself, the words were pouring out of him, only this time, they weren’t angry, they were desperate.
“Don’t leave me, Aa. Don’t make me leave again. Don’t make me go. Please…I can’t, I just can’t keep doing this.” He was crying in earnest now, and couldn’t seem to stop himself. “Please…I love…Hope…” He looked up and his breath caught at the pain and need he saw in Adam’s eyes. “Please…” He gripped Adam tighter, fearing to let him go or for Adam to push him back. When he felt Adam pull him in closer, he lost what little control he had maintained and buried his face into Adam’s chest, sobbing out his stress and pain.
~~~~
Adam held Kris close while he cried. He couldn’t let him go. He needed Kris. Needed him like he needed his next breath, needed him like he had always needed Aaron. What the hell was he going to do?
As Kris began to cry in earnest, he pulled him in tighter, whispering words of love to sooth and comfort. “We’ll figure this out. I’ll go to therapy. You should go too. I’m not leaving and I’m not throwing you out. I love you, Kris. Just, let’s give it…”
Hope began crying and Kris pushed on Adam to let him go.
He released his hold on Kris and took a step back. “I’ve got to go get her.”
Kris didn’t meet his eyes, he just nodded his understanding.
He held Kris’ face in his hands, wiping at his tears with the pads of his thumbs. “Trust me.”
Kris refused to meet his gaze and hitched in another breath.
Hope cried loudly.
Adam sighed, let Kris go and went to get his daughter.
~~~~
Thirty minutes later found Adam standing in Kris’ room looking around at the empty closet and drawers pulled open and emptied out. Some of his things were still scattered around the room, but Kris, along with most of his clothing, was gone.
He sat down on the bed and gave way to his grief. How was he supposed to work through all of this without Kris?
Aaron whispered in his ear angrily, ‘What did you expect?’
Adam looked around the room bleakly. What had he expected? Not this, never this. He curled up on the bed, pulling Kris’ pillow close, inhaling his scent and cried until he fell into an exhausted sleep.
Title: A Flat Line (Part 4 of my A Thin Line series)
BETA: mhobbs0430
Word Count: 1447
Pairing: Adam/Kris/Aaron, past mentions of Adam/Tommy, Adam/Brad, Tommy/Kris, Adam/OMC (Even)
Rating: PG to NC 17 (will be posted at the beginning of each chapter)
Warnings: Past character death, DID/MPD, PTSD, cursing, slash, cute little girls, angry men, bossy mothers and angst...lots of angst with a nice mix of smex and fun times.
Disclaimer: FICTION....this is all made up, for fun. I think that covers it.
Summary: Adam retreats with-in his mind and Aaron is left to deal with the fall-out. Kris is living with Aaron and taking care of Hope. How will Adam/Aaron deal with Even's death? Can Kris hang around long enough for them to find their way back to each other? Or is the line between friendship and lovers too thin to hold up under the stress?
Banner by the wonderful groffiction
A/N: This chapter is PG. Don't hate me...
Adam stood looking in the mirror, trying to tamp down his nerves. He had felt the anger that radiated off of Kris as he had left the kitchen, and he knew that when he faced the man, he was going to feel it full force. It had been a long time coming. He knew that he deserved whatever Kris had to say to him. He had left Kris to deal with the aftermath of everything once again. Kris had every right to be angry. He just hoped that he could stay present and not flee in the face of that anger.
“Stay on the inside, Aaron. I need to deal with this.”
In his mind he heard his other half whispering to him heatedly, ‘Don’t you hurt him!’
“I never meant to hurt him.” One lone tear made its way down his cheek and he wiped it away quickly. If he started crying, he didn’t know if he would ever stop. Too much pain was bottled up to let it out right now.
He took one last look at himself in the mirror, squared his shoulders, and went to take the ‘dressing down’ he knew Kris was dying to give him.
~~~~
Kris was so damn angry, he was shaking. How dare Adam pop back up and take control! Who did he think he was anyway? Leaving for six months and leaving Kris to deal with his love for Aaron, for Adam, and his guilt over Even. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? He paced back and forth in the living room waiting for Adam to come down and face the music. He built himself into a furious frenzy.
He didn’t even see or hear him come down the stairs he was so occupied with his thoughts.
“Kris?”
He jumped and turned around quickly. The wet look in Adam’s eyes registered in his brain but didn’t make it to his heart or his mouth. He launched in to Adam immediately.
“Where the fuck have you been for the last six months? Did you have a good vacation? Do you feel better? And you wait, until the morning after we’ve made love to come back? What the fuck, Adam? Do you have any idea how angry I am at you? How fucking scared I was that you would never show back up? How could you do that to your daughter? How could you do that to me?” Kris was panting from his anger he was so pissed off. “Did you think about anyone but yourself? Did you? Huh?”
Adam stood in the face of all that anger and tried his best not to leave, not to flee and not to cry. He could feel the edges blurring and fought to maintain control, to stay present.
Kris was pacing back and forth in front of Adam, not looking at him, holding tight to his anger and his need to speak his mind. “You have no idea what it’s been like, living here with you, not being able to touch you. And then you touched me and now?” He sighed, having burned through the adrenaline rush of his initial anger. “Now, I don’t even know…if…you…”, he hiccupped, cursing himself for the weakness as tears formed in his eyes, “Damn it! I don’t even know if you want me now after…” He slumped and threw himself onto the sofa, trying and failing to keep the tears in check. He looked straight into Adam’s watery blue eyes. “I’m not your goddamned doormat. I won’t let you wipe your feet on me and discard me again. I’m not that man anymore. Tommy taught me that, along with you.” Kris looked away. “I can’t keep doing this,” he whispered.
He sat there, eye to eye with Adam, the man he had always loved more than any other, his chin jutted out, defiant.
~~~~
Adam’s eyes filled with tears, but he refused to let them fall. He heard Aaron laughing and whispering how beautiful Kris was when he was angry. Even through his pain, guilt and need to cry, Adam had to agree. Kris was indeed a thing of beauty in that moment.
Adam took a long hard look at his best friend, his lover, his long time support. Kris’s eyes were leaking, running down his cheeks that were red from his anger and probably partially from his embarrassment. He was still shirtless, his well honed pecs and abdomen had a light sheen of sweat from his pacing, more than likely. He was sucking in breathes in hitched pants, trying his best not to wail. Lifting his eyes back to those deep brown ones, he saw the hurt and pain, the confusion, the defiance and the desire. He couldn’t deny he had always loved Kris, had always wanted to protect him and keep him from being harmed, even when he was the one doing the damage.
Like he was now. He wanted to hold Kris, desperately, to tell him everything was going to be okay. But he didn’t know if everything was going to be okay. He didn’t know if he was going to be okay. He had loved Even; part of him would always love Even.
‘But we loved Kris first…’ Aaron whispered inside his ear.
Adam nodded his head in response to Aaron and opened his arms to Kris without speaking.
~~~~
Kris squeezed his hands into tight fists, trying to keep himself under control. Tears still leaked down his face that made him feel weak. His face felt hot and he wanted to wipe away the tears but was terrified to move. He didn’t know if he could keep the waning control in place.
He watched Adam watching him, looking at him with something he couldn’t place in his eyes. For a moment, Adam’s eyes went steel and Kris was sure that Aaron was up front and present but Adam’s eyes faded back into the saddened soft blue. His breathe hitched again and he let out a squeaking sound that embarrassed him even more.
Adam nodded his head and then opened his arms toward Kris.
Without a thought, Kris lunged into those arms and lost some of his hard fought for control, crying into Adam’s strong chest.
Before he could stop himself, the words were pouring out of him, only this time, they weren’t angry, they were desperate.
“Don’t leave me, Aa. Don’t make me leave again. Don’t make me go. Please…I can’t, I just can’t keep doing this.” He was crying in earnest now, and couldn’t seem to stop himself. “Please…I love…Hope…” He looked up and his breath caught at the pain and need he saw in Adam’s eyes. “Please…” He gripped Adam tighter, fearing to let him go or for Adam to push him back. When he felt Adam pull him in closer, he lost what little control he had maintained and buried his face into Adam’s chest, sobbing out his stress and pain.
~~~~
Adam held Kris close while he cried. He couldn’t let him go. He needed Kris. Needed him like he needed his next breath, needed him like he had always needed Aaron. What the hell was he going to do?
As Kris began to cry in earnest, he pulled him in tighter, whispering words of love to sooth and comfort. “We’ll figure this out. I’ll go to therapy. You should go too. I’m not leaving and I’m not throwing you out. I love you, Kris. Just, let’s give it…”
Hope began crying and Kris pushed on Adam to let him go.
He released his hold on Kris and took a step back. “I’ve got to go get her.”
Kris didn’t meet his eyes, he just nodded his understanding.
He held Kris’ face in his hands, wiping at his tears with the pads of his thumbs. “Trust me.”
Kris refused to meet his gaze and hitched in another breath.
Hope cried loudly.
Adam sighed, let Kris go and went to get his daughter.
~~~~
Thirty minutes later found Adam standing in Kris’ room looking around at the empty closet and drawers pulled open and emptied out. Some of his things were still scattered around the room, but Kris, along with most of his clothing, was gone.
He sat down on the bed and gave way to his grief. How was he supposed to work through all of this without Kris?
Aaron whispered in his ear angrily, ‘What did you expect?’
Adam looked around the room bleakly. What had he expected? Not this, never this. He curled up on the bed, pulling Kris’ pillow close, inhaling his scent and cried until he fell into an exhausted sleep.