Maybe happiness is coming but you don't know when
I'm at such a moratorium in my life right now. I really hate it. I haven't done homework in a week (not smart), swam a mile (again, not smart-- pretty freaking sore), I've just been spending all my time and energy thinking about what to do with myself this summer/next year. My denial of May's arrival will no longer work as March is coming to a close faster than it began. I have to submit a few sentences about what I'm doing with my life for the LBS graduation brunch slideshow. Too bad I can't come up with a plan much less a few sentences.
This has just been a hard week. I can't count the number of times that if I was a bit softer I would have just started to cry. Well actually I probably can count-- it's about 5. Since last Friday. And if you know me to any degree, you will definately know how rare that is.
But after all the thinking I've been doing, as well as the long mulling-over talks with Steph, and my parents... I think I know what I want. Ideally I'd pack up July 1st and move to Atlanta after getting the large mammal professional internship. That would consume my time but eventually I'd get back to coaching and settled in my life down there. Ideally I'd be happy.
When was the last time things went how I wanted? I can't remember either. If I could have just once, that would be amazing. And I'd like to choose that "just once" for this situation. I'm tired of the life I'm living. I want out.
*~
This has just been a hard week. I can't count the number of times that if I was a bit softer I would have just started to cry. Well actually I probably can count-- it's about 5. Since last Friday. And if you know me to any degree, you will definately know how rare that is.
But after all the thinking I've been doing, as well as the long mulling-over talks with Steph, and my parents... I think I know what I want. Ideally I'd pack up July 1st and move to Atlanta after getting the large mammal professional internship. That would consume my time but eventually I'd get back to coaching and settled in my life down there. Ideally I'd be happy.
When was the last time things went how I wanted? I can't remember either. If I could have just once, that would be amazing. And I'd like to choose that "just once" for this situation. I'm tired of the life I'm living. I want out.
*~