Well, I don't FEEL like batman.
So I had my first kiss last night. My first real live, this-is-what-people-mean-when-they-say-making-out kiss. ------- was tipsy, it was the super bowl after all. She warned me that she gets...affectionate when she's tipsy. She has been known to kiss girls before. But I get ahead of myself.
We were on our best behavior, since --- was in the room, but we would hold hands under a pillow secretly. And every time --- left, we would snuggle closer. So ------- had a rum and coke; a strong one, apparently. And as the day went on, she got more and more...affectionate. By the fourth quarter she was kissing my neck. I had already promised myself that I wouldn't let her do something stupid that we'd regret in the morning, so I told her to stop. But damn is she a good flirt.
After the game, I needed some snuggle time. Physical contact is really important to me. Since Corinne had come back earlier in the day, we went downstairs to the game room. We couldn't find a light switch, but we propped a door open and sat on the couch. She kept flirting with me, kissing my neck, whispering to me. I have terrible willpower. But every time we got to the actual kissing part, I put my foot down.
Until I didn't anymore. It was...different. But not bad different. Every time I think about it, and even when it was happening, I got that weird feeling again, where it feels like there is ice in my veins. Except that my lips were burning.
------- didn't feel anything. She needed to kiss me so she could tell if she felt something. I needed to kiss her because I needed to know what it was like. She went home shortly after that.
She texted me a couple times, and I wasn't really upset until she said, "fyi, if I weren't straight, I'd be all over you. You are quite a catch." That's when I got upset. I don't need her pity. I don't need her compliments. I don't need her to feel bad for me. I'm not sorry it happened, and I'm not sorry that I enjoyed it.
I'm glad she's straight, for her sake. I remember how scary it was when I first realized. Plus, she has that boyfriend. I'm just a friend that she is closer to than she ever thought she could be. That's why she was confused. I made her promise not to drop weird hints like that if she didn't have a boyfriend she would sleep with me or something, or that she would enjoy it if...No more of that. I'd go insane. Well, more so.
We were on our best behavior, since --- was in the room, but we would hold hands under a pillow secretly. And every time --- left, we would snuggle closer. So ------- had a rum and coke; a strong one, apparently. And as the day went on, she got more and more...affectionate. By the fourth quarter she was kissing my neck. I had already promised myself that I wouldn't let her do something stupid that we'd regret in the morning, so I told her to stop. But damn is she a good flirt.
After the game, I needed some snuggle time. Physical contact is really important to me. Since Corinne had come back earlier in the day, we went downstairs to the game room. We couldn't find a light switch, but we propped a door open and sat on the couch. She kept flirting with me, kissing my neck, whispering to me. I have terrible willpower. But every time we got to the actual kissing part, I put my foot down.
Until I didn't anymore. It was...different. But not bad different. Every time I think about it, and even when it was happening, I got that weird feeling again, where it feels like there is ice in my veins. Except that my lips were burning.
------- didn't feel anything. She needed to kiss me so she could tell if she felt something. I needed to kiss her because I needed to know what it was like. She went home shortly after that.
She texted me a couple times, and I wasn't really upset until she said, "fyi, if I weren't straight, I'd be all over you. You are quite a catch." That's when I got upset. I don't need her pity. I don't need her compliments. I don't need her to feel bad for me. I'm not sorry it happened, and I'm not sorry that I enjoyed it.
I'm glad she's straight, for her sake. I remember how scary it was when I first realized. Plus, she has that boyfriend. I'm just a friend that she is closer to than she ever thought she could be. That's why she was confused. I made her promise not to drop weird hints like that if she didn't have a boyfriend she would sleep with me or something, or that she would enjoy it if...No more of that. I'd go insane. Well, more so.