Limited Editions
Okay, it's about 5 something in the morning and I am sitting here because once again my sleeping schedule has gone to shit. Now, one may wonder what you can do at 5 in the morning when there is no one around and all that is on is a George Carlin routine in the background, which if I really think about it isn't that bad. But one thing seems to push me to write at the moment, a little blue, red, and clear bottle sitting in front of me. This little rocket shaped object makes me wonder what really has gone on with the world, and if we really need so many versions of the same damn thing. Now perhaps some of you are wondering what the hell is in front of me, others may think 'Why is he sitting at his computer with a patriotic dildo?', and then again some of you don't really care but will read anyway because of the subliminal messages I have been sneaking into my posts here...like this one -->Fnjord<--Now let me tell you. No, I have not found new joy with the use of a vibrating companion, nor do I care if you care, but I will continue on my merry way anyway, because I am nuts. It's that simple. I am nuts, but then so is this damn thing sitting in front of. It reads simply, Limited Edition (For this particular article we shall change the names to protect the innocent, so lets call this brand...)Poopsi-Cola Holiday Spice: Cola Spiced up for the Season. I find this concept absurd. Now I ponder what validity they have behind their statement of being a 'festive blend of holiday spices and great tasting Poopsi'. Now first we will have to assume that Poopsi is great tasting. I still stand by I think it tastes the same as (And just to be fair to any other companies that may decide to poison my drinks in the future) Cocaine (And just to note that the Cocaine reference in no way represents a particular company's early life where it "allegedly" actually contained this highly addictive drug), or any other caramel flavored drink. I was never very fond of caramel to begin with, let alone a drink made about it. But if so many people drink it, it must be the preferred drink. Now it seems though, that people want something different, variety. They have Lemon Twist Poopsi, Poopsi with lime, Cherry Cocaine, Wild Cherry Poopsi, New Cocaine, Classic Cocaine, Poopsi one, New Poopsi, Poopsi Blue (which didn't even have caramel in it mind you), and of course now Holiday Spice Poopsi. Now the question is why. They were the two largest sellers of the same damn flavored drink for who knows how long. At this point it is simply out doing the other as they play with the variety seeking taste buds of the American public. Now they also have to mess with their own subsidiaries and destroy a perfectly good drink, Hilltop Water. Orange, yellow, green, blue(it seems that the blue drinks always suck the worse), red, and now purple. Now these wouldn't be so bad if they weren't just cheap knock offs of classic drinks that you can buy for 58 cents at Walli-World, or perhaps that horrible brand that has those techno colored women singing a catchy tune, Fanny, I don't think I even need to describe the true name of that product. Now is there a point to all of this? A point to the many flavors, or the point to my rantings? I just find these many things an odd way to keep their customers. Root Beer has been the same flavor for god knows how long and it still sells fine. Same for Cream Soda. This only brings me to believe that caramel soda and its producers, Poopsi-Cola and Cocaine-Cola, suck. Why else would they need all these new flavors to keep their sales up? It just brings me to think that perhaps caramel was not the greatest choices of flavors for a drink. Perhaps a substance that doesn't cause one to actually become more thirsty. And why screw with the good ones like Hilltop Water? Anyway, I think my rant has ended, the point lost somewhere in my mind as I was writing. I'll probably think of it later or something.