Suffering insomnia
Sometimes it's not too bad to suffer from insomnia, as you can't escape the awful truth of thinking of things, you avoided the past few weeks..or even years. What has brought this on? Who knows and who knows what this might be good for..
To sum up my thoughts...money of course, you never have enough of the bloody damn thing, the massiv problem men and me, which is kinda bugging me for a while now.
As a matter of fact, I am complicated, my entire life is a chaos and a bit of a state, so I have all the right to be difficult in some ways, as for example: I would willingly rather cut of one of my limbs (choose anyone I still have all of them), than tell the guy I like to his face, that I like him. Yes, a bit of problem, when it comes to the dating thing and yes it's hard to guess when I like someone, as I just behave normal, nobody wants to seem pushy or annoying..and then I get in a big huff, because he can't guess, that I'm all up in arms about him...yeaah I'm such a weirdo ...
One conclusion done: me = hughe massiv weirdo when it comes to confessing feelings..or showing them if I'm insecure, like a 13 year old teenie, who has just discovered that she has breasts, not one of my strenghts, I admit.
I would rather move on with this topic....
Okay, the next, as things have happend in the past, which have brought the ship, called my life, off course, more than I would have imagined back, when I was innocent 18 years old...I really barely remember how I was, what I did and how I acted, I have a bit of blurr when it comes to that, but let's say that, I want to apologise to anyone, who had to suffer under my behavior, maybe a bit late, but still an excuse, which I mean...really mean.
Hm, maybe, just maybe I should just go to bed and if I'm a lucky sucker, I'll fall asleep pretty soon....or maybe not
Damn it! I know I should not be f-ing around, it gives the wrong picture of the gentle me *laugh* *mouth with sope wash* But not being able to sleep is more than really shitty....especially when it comes to the getting up part, before dusk comes, as it is dark at half past 4 ..great ...a day in the dark. I know, I know I am such a moan, and I'm literally abusing my blog to get it out of my system and not to bother anyone else with my ranting about God and the world, and men, who ignore me, and whatever hits my sulky mind...
Hopefully someday I'll have great news, which causes a smile freeze on my face and then I'll just tell you how wonderful it is ...someday? maybe? Example: I won the lottery and got the jackpot, that would be it, wouldn't it? What would I do with such a lump sum...if I could bring to paper what my mind pictures, but I'll keep it for myself, and take that thought with me to be now.
Nighty Night...or Good Morning World.
To sum up my thoughts...money of course, you never have enough of the bloody damn thing, the massiv problem men and me, which is kinda bugging me for a while now.
As a matter of fact, I am complicated, my entire life is a chaos and a bit of a state, so I have all the right to be difficult in some ways, as for example: I would willingly rather cut of one of my limbs (choose anyone I still have all of them), than tell the guy I like to his face, that I like him. Yes, a bit of problem, when it comes to the dating thing and yes it's hard to guess when I like someone, as I just behave normal, nobody wants to seem pushy or annoying..and then I get in a big huff, because he can't guess, that I'm all up in arms about him...yeaah I'm such a weirdo ...
One conclusion done: me = hughe massiv weirdo when it comes to confessing feelings..or showing them if I'm insecure, like a 13 year old teenie, who has just discovered that she has breasts, not one of my strenghts, I admit.
I would rather move on with this topic....
Okay, the next, as things have happend in the past, which have brought the ship, called my life, off course, more than I would have imagined back, when I was innocent 18 years old...I really barely remember how I was, what I did and how I acted, I have a bit of blurr when it comes to that, but let's say that, I want to apologise to anyone, who had to suffer under my behavior, maybe a bit late, but still an excuse, which I mean...really mean.
Hm, maybe, just maybe I should just go to bed and if I'm a lucky sucker, I'll fall asleep pretty soon....or maybe not
Damn it! I know I should not be f-ing around, it gives the wrong picture of the gentle me *laugh* *mouth with sope wash* But not being able to sleep is more than really shitty....especially when it comes to the getting up part, before dusk comes, as it is dark at half past 4 ..great ...a day in the dark. I know, I know I am such a moan, and I'm literally abusing my blog to get it out of my system and not to bother anyone else with my ranting about God and the world, and men, who ignore me, and whatever hits my sulky mind...
Hopefully someday I'll have great news, which causes a smile freeze on my face and then I'll just tell you how wonderful it is ...someday? maybe? Example: I won the lottery and got the jackpot, that would be it, wouldn't it? What would I do with such a lump sum...if I could bring to paper what my mind pictures, but I'll keep it for myself, and take that thought with me to be now.
Nighty Night...or Good Morning World.