(no subject)
it's funny...there are so many different facets to my life...friends, family, school, life, etc...and when one guy acts like a jerk, it makes me question my worth as a whole. i wish it didn't. but it does.
last weekend i saw mclovin for an hour, after which he promised he would keep thursday open and we would get together. but when i asked him about it today, he said that he never promised, and that we only had tentative plans, and now he was busy with a work dinner.
i'm not the type of girl to make things up or put words in peoples' mouths. i didn't imagine this, but he was angry that i did. we were supposed to meet up after his dinner, but of course it ran late. i understand that he had a promotion and is now a lot busier, but if you promise, come through or at least let me know in advance that you don't plan on honoring your intentions. i'm busy too. i don't have time for bullshit.
so after a night of yankees and dinner and drinks with a few of my girls, i was good but starting to feel pretty down again when it was time to go home. i guess just because i show consideration for others, it doesn't mean they will do the same for me. i don't know when i will see him again, and at this point, i don't really want to. i can't say i don't care--i do. but at this time, i need to walk away. it's too bad, because things were going so well before his promotion. i don't know if it's an excuse or a true reason for his behavior the past few weeks, but either way, i don't like it. i work full time, and go to school on top of that, but i'm always willing to try and set aside time for him once a week. i guess it was asking too much that he'd do the same.
when i was on the bus home, i was starting to feel my worst. then this obviously wasted guy got on the bus, and we got to talking. we smiled, we laughed, and for fifteen blocks i felt ok. it was good to know that at least one person in this city was glad to meet me. you'd think with so many people, things would be great. but out of the places i've lived, this is truly the loneliest. sometimes i wish i was ready to leave. but i'm convinced there has to be something here for me. i just need to find it. when i'm least expecting it, right?
i start my new job on monday. i'm excited for this new beginning. hopefully all will go well. school started off great and continues to get better with each passing week--everyone i've met is so friendly and welcoming, stern is truly the right place for me. i hope my new job is more of the same. i don't think i could deal with regret of leaving my old company at this stage in the game. i'm already regretting enough as it is.
last weekend i saw mclovin for an hour, after which he promised he would keep thursday open and we would get together. but when i asked him about it today, he said that he never promised, and that we only had tentative plans, and now he was busy with a work dinner.
i'm not the type of girl to make things up or put words in peoples' mouths. i didn't imagine this, but he was angry that i did. we were supposed to meet up after his dinner, but of course it ran late. i understand that he had a promotion and is now a lot busier, but if you promise, come through or at least let me know in advance that you don't plan on honoring your intentions. i'm busy too. i don't have time for bullshit.
so after a night of yankees and dinner and drinks with a few of my girls, i was good but starting to feel pretty down again when it was time to go home. i guess just because i show consideration for others, it doesn't mean they will do the same for me. i don't know when i will see him again, and at this point, i don't really want to. i can't say i don't care--i do. but at this time, i need to walk away. it's too bad, because things were going so well before his promotion. i don't know if it's an excuse or a true reason for his behavior the past few weeks, but either way, i don't like it. i work full time, and go to school on top of that, but i'm always willing to try and set aside time for him once a week. i guess it was asking too much that he'd do the same.
when i was on the bus home, i was starting to feel my worst. then this obviously wasted guy got on the bus, and we got to talking. we smiled, we laughed, and for fifteen blocks i felt ok. it was good to know that at least one person in this city was glad to meet me. you'd think with so many people, things would be great. but out of the places i've lived, this is truly the loneliest. sometimes i wish i was ready to leave. but i'm convinced there has to be something here for me. i just need to find it. when i'm least expecting it, right?
i start my new job on monday. i'm excited for this new beginning. hopefully all will go well. school started off great and continues to get better with each passing week--everyone i've met is so friendly and welcoming, stern is truly the right place for me. i hope my new job is more of the same. i don't think i could deal with regret of leaving my old company at this stage in the game. i'm already regretting enough as it is.