chatfic: a russian story of love and betrayal
Oh, god. Every time disarm_d and I get on AIM, we come up with bits and pieces of fic. Last night was more of the same and she let me spam her about this for hours. Hours, seriously. It started something like this:
disarm_d (7:06:50 PM): panic as russian terrorists!
disarm_d (7:06:53 PM): how would that go?
audreysrev (7:06:58 PM): I have no idea!
audreysrev (7:07:05 PM): they would be an underground group
audreysrev (7:07:13 PM): brent is a spy for the government
So, here it is, reformatted from chatfic.
A Russian Story of Love and Betrayal.
Spencer/Brendon, Ryan/Pete, Ryan/Jon/Tom
NC-17
~5700 words
Notes: I only reformatted, added some emphasis. This is still basically a chatfic. Also, the timeline might be a little off, but most of the stuff that's going on in the background did happen at some point, including the assassination of Alexander II on March 1st, 1881.
They would be an underground group. Brent is a spy for the government. And Brendon, Spencer and Ryan have to escape the country before they get arrested. They meet Jon Walker in Germany and he smuggles them back in.
They know Pete from an intellectual group that Ryan attends to get information. They live in hotels, visiting cities to gather support or find supplies to make their bombs. Pete's planning to assassinate the tsar and Ryan is mostly the brains of the outfit. Brendon and Spencer are the ones doing surveillance, walking the streets and figuring out when the tsar is going to be leaving the palace. Jon does the traveling, visiting small cities surrounding Moscow. He's the one who gathers support and finds the bomb makers. Pete might be fucking Ryan after their meetings, but Ryan won't even tell Spencer.
Spencer was kind of reluctant to get involved, but then Ryan introduced him to Brendon and he supports the cause completely, supports it because Brendon supports it.
Ryan and Spencer are from this tiny town, their parents were peasants on the same farm, worked the same land. And Spencer’s family never hesitated to help Ryan out when his father was having difficulties.
Brendon is a worker in one of the factories when Ryan meets him, they were put in the same room when Ryan left the farm to make more money. Brendon spreads Marxist propaganda at lunch time. Ryan is enthralled and when he goes back to the farm for holidays he tells Spencer all about the boy he met, the one who was a socialist, who talked quietly just before bed about eliminating the tsar and starting their revolution.
The first time they meet, Spencer feels so out of place. He's not like Ryan, still a peasant and Brendon must think he's stupid and not worth his time. Brendon thinks Spencer is one of the smartest people he's ever met, Spencer just gets it.
Brent lived in the same town as Ryan and Spencer, but not on the same farm, went to the city first and sort of lured Ryan away, talking about how wonderful it was and how much money he was making. The four of them form a tiny band of socialists and when Brendon presents them with the idea of terrorism, Brent is the only one reluctant.
After they make their first attempt, an aborted attempt to kill a minister of something, Brent goes to the secret police. Brent is incredibly inept and can't actually tell the police much (Brendon is smart enough to keep the real plans from him). But he tells them enough that they're in danger.
Ryan contacts Pete and Pete finds them a way out of the country. They spend three months in Germany, Berlin mostly and they hate it. Ryan feels a little like a third wheel because he knows what's going to happen between Brendon and Spencer. But they're all miserable and then they meet Jon.
It's completely random, they bump into him at a meeting and Jon mentions Pete. Ryan and Jon bond over the fact that they both know Pete. Jon says maybe he could smuggle them back in, he knows people. Jon's got pretty good connections because he manages to find them three sets of forged identification.
They sneak back in after six months, Pete sends Brendon to Petersburg and Spencer throws a bitchfit, but only to Ryan. He acts sort of distant around Brendon for the remaining few days before he leaves, tries not to get too attached because he knows Brendon might not be coming back.
Brendon does though, comes back with all kinds of pamphlets (which only Brendon would even risk carrying because its super dangerous) and books, a whole bunch of Marxist writings and a few connections with small bands of terrorists in Petersburg. He had a couple close calls with the secret police, cut his visit short by a whole week.
He comes back and he's bubbling with excitement. He kisses Spencer for the first time right after he gets back.
Spencer’s lost weight, has dark bags under his eyes and even Ryan looks worried when Brendon knocks on their door. Ryan curses a little when he sees it's Brendon, pulls him close (even though Ryan isn't very touchy, it's been weeks and he was convinced Brendon wasn't coming back).
Spencer makes a sound from behind him, a desperate little noise that has Brendon pulling away from Ryan, dropping his bags noisily to the floor and taking the two steps it is from Spencer. "Spencer, Spencer," he says and kisses him hard, puts one hand on Spencer’s jaw, the other around the back of his neck and kisses him. Spencer doesn't pull away, wraps his arm around Brendon’s back, pulls him in as close as possible, and kisses him back.
"Welcome home," Ryan says after a while, but the smile is evident in his voice.
When Brendon finally pulls away from Spencer, a whole lot out of breath, he's grinning like a madman.
"Damn, I missed you," he says, including the both of them. He kisses Spencer again, lightly, and repeats, "Missed you so much."
Brendon has to leave right after he arrives, has to make his report to Pete and Spencer is incredibly disinclined to see him go. He tries "you can wait until tomorrow" and "just one more day,” but Brendon just points at the bag of books, pamphlets and says he has to get rid of it as soon as possible. He doesn't want them in danger too.
Spencer kisses him as much as he can before Brendon leaves, kisses him hard, biting at his lips, his jaw. Ryan has to hold Spencer’s arm as Brendon finally leaves, one last glance behind him.
Brendon doesn't come back until the next day and Spencer is pissed, beyond pissed. Two hours, Brendon had said. Two hours and it was almost twenty four before he was knocking at the door again.
He's jittery, though, can't really pay attention to what Ryan is saying, but he's paying attention to what Spencer isn't saying. He pushes Spencer into the back room and kisses him, soft, gentle kisses, wraps a hand around Spencer’s hip, rubs his knuckles over Spencer’s jaw, cheek.
"I'm sorry," he says, over and over again. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
And Spencer finally shushes him, kisses him a little bit harder, not nasty, just harder, presses their hips together. Brendon presses back, pushes Spencer against the closest vertical surface, Ryan’s desk. Hands at the hem of Spencer’s shirt, he says, "hey, are you sure?"
Spencer pulls the shirt off himself, pulls at Brendon’s too until they're pressed together, skin to skin. "I've been sure," he replies and pulls Brendon close. He boosts himself up onto the desk, pulls Brendon between his legs, tugging at Brendon’s pants. He shoves them down and off, pushes at his own until they're sitting next to Brendon’s on the floor.
"Please," he says, voice desperate and he's pulling Brendon as close as possible. "I need," he stops and Brendon pushes Spencer back further onto the desk, pushes him so that his legs are open as wide as possible.
Brendon’s still kissing him, pulls away for a second to push a finger, two into Spencer’s mouth. Spencer sucks on them, licks at them until they're wet enough, until Brendon is pulling them out and replacing them with his mouth, his tongue.
And then he's pushing one into Spencer, pushing past the ring of muscle and Spencer is groaning softly into his mouth, breathing hard and grasping tightly to Brendon’s shoulders. He twists his finger, curls it into Spencer and after a few thrusts he's adding another, twisting two into Spencer and Spencer pushes back against him, shifts his hips as much as possible between the desk and Brendon’s hands. Brendon adds a third finger and Spencer gasps, says, "Please, Brendon. Nownownow."
Brendon pushes his fingers in a couple more times, eyes on Spencer the whole time, watching the way Spencer gasps and squeezes his eyes shut, opens them when Brendon hits the right spot. Brendon pulls them out finally and Spencer groans again, something that sounds almost like Brendon’s name.
Brendon shushes him, spits into his hand and smears it over his dick.
"Ready?" Brendon asks, lips against Spencer’s. Spencer just curses at him and moves his hips impatiently. Brendon chuckles a little bit, but there's an edge to it, a little bit of his own desperation showing through. Then he's pushing in, pressing just the head into Spencer.
Spencer tips his head back, tilts his hips and Brendon starts moving, pushing in until he's all the way in, all the way inside of Spencer and he's kissing him, sloppy and wet.
"Move," Spencer demands, his fingers digging into Brendon’s upper arms. "Move now."
Brendon does, pulls out and thrusts in, a little harder than necessary probably, but Spencer doesn't even wince, just meets Brendon’s thrusts, each one coming harder than the last.
They're picking up speed, moving together and Brendon lifts one hand from the desk where he's holding himself up and wraps it around Spencer’s dick. He uses Spencer’s own pre-come and jerks him off. The rhythm is erratic, Brendon’s hand not matching his thrusts but Spencer doesn't give a shit, just moves with him and then he's coming, all of a sudden.
He's saying Brendon’s name, over and over, clenching around Brendon, and it doesn't take long after that, maybe a few more seconds before Brendon is coming too, Spencer’s name on his lips and his hand still working Spencer through his own orgasm.
They're still moving together, slightly, Spencer shuddering and Brendon going through his own aftershocks when they hear Ryan say from the other room, "I'm going to kill you both."
Brendon fits his mouth over Spencer’s, licks into his mouth and pulls out as gently as possible.
Spencer’s fingers finally relax their grip on Brendon’s arms.
"Ryan’s totally going to kill us," Brendon laughs, pulling Spencer up from the desk, "Especially when he sees this." Spencer laughs and sits up, makes a face.
The papers on Ryan’s desk are folded and in complete disarray, a couple stained.
Ryan brings this up every time Brendon complains about going to Pete's or moving apartments, says, "Hey remember that desk?" and Brendon shuts up.
Pete knows about two seconds after they walk in the door for the next meeting two seconds after Brendon walks in because they never arrive together, that's just asking for trouble.
Pete sidles up to Brendon and says, as quiet as Pete can, "You totally got laid, didn't you?"
Brendon just smiles and raises his eyebrows.
"Maybe," he says.
Pete is certainly not the king of subtle. Lord knows how he succeeds as a leader of a terrorist group. He's sneaky somehow, when he wants to be. And when Spencer shows up about ten minutes later, Pete looks at him, looks at Brendon looks back at Spencer and knows, just like that. Because he is Pete Wentz!
Ryan doesn't show up that night, but they only end up going over some of the ideas of Marxism, some of his tenets and the idea of revolution.
Brendon and Spencer sit across the room from each other and don't even look at each other the whole hour. They leave separately and Pete corners Brendon before he can escape, warns him "be careful."
Ryan shows up early the next morning with a bunch of cuts and scrapes, his left wrist limp.
"What the fuck?" Brendon exclaims when he stumbles into the room. Spencer puts a hand on his shoulder, calms him down.
"I think they know," Ryan mumbles, trying to work the first aid stuff they've got hidden in a bible. "We've got to move."
"We can't, we have to wait," Spencer says before Brendon can even open his mouth.
"They know," Ryan says again, voice sharp.
"You have to move," Spencer continues. "Brendon will go with you."
Brendon’s mouth opens and shuts.
"We have to be careful." They spend the whole day planning. At dawn the next morning, when everyone in the city is going to work, Brendon leaves. Ryan makes sure they're following Brendon before leaving. He goes the other way and finds Jon.
Spencer’s not worried, he is, but Brendon knows what he's doing. Ryan knows what he's doing. He packs up their stuff over the next two days, leaves just as night is falling when a number of people are going home for dinner. It doesn't take long, they don't have much.
He meets Brendon at their new hideout, kisses him hard. Ryan shows up later that day, Jon in tow.
"Pete wants us out," Ryan says over dinner, a couple pieces of bread and some soup Jon throws together. "He wants us to go down to Odessa. Figner's down there and she's building a group, a whole bunch of circles all connected to her."
Brendon doesn't like the sound of it, though. Bigger groups mean more attention and more attention means secret police. Ryan’s still nursing his wrist and a trip down south doesn't sound like the best answer.
"What if we went to Petersburg?" he counters and Jon actually looks like he likes the idea, but he doesn’t speak up.
That night in bed, Brendon tells Spencer he doesn't like it. Odessa gives him a bad feeling.
"But it's Pete," Spencer says, silently agreeing with Brendon. He doesn't like the idea of Odessa, but Vera Figner is there and she was a part of March 1st (the assassination of Alexander II). Ryan will no doubt want to be near her, all that genius in one place. Plus Pete is telling him to go.
Spencer doesn't want to have to decide between Brendon and Ryan, doesn't actually think he could. He wraps himself around Brendon, but it takes him a long time to go to sleep.
Ryan keeps talking about going to Odessa, Brendon only mentions Petersburg one more time and it’s only the presence of Jon that stops him and Ryan from getting into a huge fight. Things are a little strained, especially after the next intellectual meeting. It's as boring as ever, reading and discussing one of Marx's writings.
Afterward, while the members are eating and drinking (vodka!), Pete sits down and talks to Ryan, Spencer, and Brendon, Jon hovers nearby.
"I want you in Odessa," Pete says and it's really a command, Brendon knows. Hell, they all know. But Brendon disagrees with him, tells Pete (again) about the groups he met in Petersburg. and he thinks they could be safe there, thinks they could be really successful. The students there are starting to flourish, more and more starting underground groups when the legal ones are outlawed.
Pete stares at Brendon for a long time, ignores Ryan’s protests.
"You need to move soon," he says after a long while. "The secret police aren't that far off," Pete continues and Brendon actually agrees.
"And we, I, know people in Petersburg. "We don't know Figner, we don't know her groups."
"Your connections put you in danger," Pete says and it’s a dig, a reminder of Brent that makes Brendon’s jaw clench.
"No," Brendon replies, all steel. "Your connections put us in danger."
Pete blinks at him, completely surprised they can all tell. Ryan is mad, can't believe Brendon would say that to Pete, would actually challenge his authority. Spencer looks away from Pete for the first time, looks right at Brendon. Brendon doesn't meet his gaze, but he makes a fist, opens his hand in Spencer’s direction.
"You want to go to Petersburg?" Brendon tilts his head forward and its not really a nod, an acknowledgment really.
"Fine, go to Petersburg." Pete looks at the rest of them, Spencer, Ryan and Jon, each in turn. "Are you going with him?"
They've all got the choice and Spencer’s breath catches. This is the moment, he's going to have to choose.
"Petersburg could be good," Jon says when the other two don't.
Brendon doesn't look away from Pete, but Spencer can see the way he's holding his breath.
"Ryan? Spencer?" Pete prompts them, his voice hard. Do they go to Petersburg, suffer Pete's consequences. Spencer looks at them both, Ryan and then Brendon. He knows who he'll pick, but he has to know where Ryan is going first, has to know.
Ryan meets his eyes.
"Petersburg," he says finally and Spencer nearly sighs from relief. They're going to Petersburg and Spencer realizes that Ryan made his decision because of him, because he was scared.
"Ryan," Spencer says later, when they're alone. "You didn't have to-"
Ryan interrupts him.
"I did. You would have come with me," he's so sure and Spencer can't correct him because he's right. Ryan is practically his brother and he never would have left him.
"I couldn't make you leave him. Not just for Vera Figner." Spencer spends the night curled up with Ryan on the floor.
They find out about Odessa four months after they move to Petersburg. Figner's group is completely destroyed, the police arrest hundreds, even groups in Moscow that were connected to her. There are rumors of a spy and Brendon’s stomach clenches at that.
Hundreds are arrested, convicted, and the groups are dealt a huge blow. Ryan paces the apartment night and day for just over a week until they hear news of Pete.
Jon gets a letter from one of his many contacts, a Tom Conrad that they've all met once or twice. He says Pete is safe, snuck out of Moscow the morning of his arrest. Ryan sends a letter back and he's still a little tense, but at least he's not completely freaking out anymore.
Things are pretty up and down in Petersburg, the groups only have a few members and the workers and students are pretty widely divided. Brendon finds a job in one of the factories, he's got to be able to feed them.
Ryan is helping with one of the student-run presses, writing articles under a different name. Spencer helps with the actual running of the press, helps Jon with his traveling.
It’s busy and Brendon is tired when he gets home at night. Spencer is gone every few weeks. Its a rough time, but they're all flourishing, doing well.
And then it happens again.
The secret police are shutting down groups, the minister of education making laws to outlaw all groups. Ryan’s newspaper puts out one issue before the offices are sacked, the place trashed.
After a long day at work, the day Brendon hears about the strikes in the east, they all sit down. The light is not good, the candle low.
"I think we need to get out," Brendon says. He doesn’t want to go. He hates the tsar and he's been involved in three aborted assassinations, but he loves Russia. Its his home, home for each and every one of them. (Jon is from Poland, but Russia is still his home, sort of.)
Spencer sits real close, his shoulder pressed up against Brendon’s. Ryan’s eyes are closed, his hands tight in his hair.
"I. I don't know," Ryan says and Spencer can feel the ache inside of Ryan, feels it because its the same one their all feeling.
They've got to decide whether to stay in Russia where they could actually do some good. Or they could take the easy road out.
"I know people in Paris, Berlin," Jon says, not really a suggestion, just possibilities.
Brendon nods, leans further into Spencer.
"What do you guys think?" he finally asks, his eyes on Spencer. Spencer laces their fingers together.
"I'm with you," he says, looking first at Brendon and then Ryan.
Ryan nods. "Where do we go?"
"There are people in Paris, a community," Brendon says, but there's reluctance there. He doesn't want to go to Paris, the émigrés in Paris are supportive of the terrorism, sure, but they're not actually doing anything. They're not living it and Brendon doesn't want to become them.
"What if we stay?" Ryan asks, he needs all the information.
"We're in danger, same as always," Brendon replies with a shrug. "But I don't know where we can go. Pete is in Paris, I think."
He's not saying it because it will get a rise out of Ryan, but it has the desired effect. Ryan visibly starts, he hasn’t heard from Pete since just after Figner arrests, just one short letter, an "I'm fine" that Ryan still has, tucked into one of his books.
"We could go to Paris," Ryan says slowly, like he's spelling it out. They don't decide anything that night.
They go to bed and Brendon is restless, tosses and turns for hours before Spencer fucks into him slowly, wears him out a little, enough to sleep.
Brendon works three 12 hours shifts and one 14 before his next day off, Sunday. When he wakes up in the morning, Ryan has decided.
They're going to Paris.
It takes some planning. Jon talks to Tom and his friend Bill in Berlin. He acquires four new passports, completely new identities and they leave a month later.
It's dangerous, an incredibly long trip, but they all make it to Berlin where Bill is waiting. The trip to Paris isn't nearly as dangerous, but almost as long.
Brendon sleeps curled up with Spencer on the train. Ryan watches them from across the aisle and Jon watches him.
Pete isn't exactly waiting for them with open arms. He and Ryan fight for hours while Brendon, Spencer, Jon and a few other guys get drunk. The vodka isn't as good in Paris, but its good enough.
Brendon goes to bed with Spencer and wishes they were back in Russia.
They meet a few of the big names, guys who were around when Alexander was assassinated. Ryan is thrilled to talk to them, loves debating theory and philosophy and he's in heaven. They talk to him about publishing a couple articles.
Jon disappears for days at a time, but he always comes back.
Brendon and Spencer are stuck in this weird place of non-existence. Brendon hasn't found a job and it’s hard. he doesn’t speak French, knows a little Yiddish but nowhere near enough. they're both just sort of drifting.
"I miss it," Spencer says late one night. They're supposed to be sleeping, but sleep hasn’t come easy since they left.
"Me too," Brendon says, his face pressed into Spencer’s neck. They do this every night, it seems. Months and they still haven't gotten used to Paris.
"If we could go back-" Spencer starts, talking with Ryan one day.
"No," is all Ryan says. "No. We're safe here. Pete is here."
"We're not safe anywhere. Brendon wants to go back." Spencer is tired, always tired. "I want to go back."
Ryan doesn't respond, just pulls back into himself for the rest of the day. Spencer throws him worried glances, Ryan doesn’t acknowledge him at all. He greets Brendon with civility, talks nicely with Jon and Pete, doesn't say anything of substance though.
They go to bed early in the morning, Ryan awake still when Brendon gets up for work. He'd found a job in a Jewish store and its no safer than Russia, the French don’t appreciate the Jews anymore than Russians.
"We can go back," Ryan says after a couple days of silence. "If you want."
And now that he's got Ryan’s permission, Spencer doesn’t know what he wants. He wants home and he wants Brendon and he wants Ryan. He's not sure if they're mutually exclusive.
He tells Brendon the next night, after they've kissed and touched and both gotten off, that Ryan said they could go back and Brendon’s not mad exactly, but his face gets a little tight. He rolls away from Spencer, can't go too far, but Spencer feels the distance, the four or five inches.
"Bren?"
"I want to go back," Brendon says, voice tight too. "But it's not worth it. We're safer here."
"We're not," Spencer says, repeating the same thing he told Ryan. "We're not safe anywhere."
"You're not going back," is all Brendon says and then he wraps his arms around himself and goes to sleep.
They're all a little tense the next day. Brendon has the day off for a Jewish holiday and Ryan tiptoes around him, afraid, Spencer thinks, that he's going to pack them up Tomorrow and move them back to Russia.
Ryan fits in here, loves Paris. Jon fits anywhere, Spencer thinks. Brendon fits with him and that’s all that matters to him. If Brendon goes back, Spencer will go (and Ryan will go if Spencer goes, but he doesn't want to force it).
He doesn't think Brendon will go. He knows Brendon wants to go.
Spencer’s still trying to figure him out, the things he used to do, the risks he took versus the things he does now, the risks he refuses to take.
Pete tries to send him to Germany for a month, just a liaison type of thing. Brendon throws the biggest fit Spencer has ever seen. He stays away from Pete, away from all of them but Spencer for the next two days. Finally he goes to Pete, Spencer doesn’t hear what they talk about, only knows that Pete is nodding by the end, resting a hand on Brendon’s shoulder in what he thinks is sympathy.
Brendon doesn’t go to Germany and the next time Pete asks him to go somewhere its close and not for very long. Brendon learns French quicker than the rest of them. Pete has been there for over a year and knows less than Brendon manages to learn in a week.
He teaches Spencer and Ryan at night while they're eating dinner. They're assimilating, not leaving Russia behind, but maybe moving on. Brendon doesn't want to live in the past his whole life, what could have been.
They finally move out of Pete's apartment, Jon's found them something in the same part of town.
Ryan isn't sure if he wants to leave. He's torn between Pete and Spencer (Brendon, Jon), but the appearance of Pete's newest protégé prompts a quick departure by Ryan. He ends up sharing a room with Jon in the new apartment.
They're all speaking French by the time someone catches up with them, the Russian accents making their French rough and common-sounding.
Brendon’s Yiddish gets better and he gets a better job for a Jewish doctor. He's making more money, Jon's got a job in a café. Spencer and Ryan get a job with a popular French newspaper, nothing underground or suspicious. Ryan writes for the paper and Spencer is more technical stuff, more analytical. Ryan more creative.
Ryan gets a letter, third or fourth hand from one of Jon's connections still in Russia. His dad is dead and he's inherited the farmland. Of course, he's also being looked for by the secret police. He replies, says he hopes they can figure out a way to give the land to Spencer’s family.
He doesn't cry, can't even remember what his father looked like. Spencer buys him a cake, something out of their budget that totally makes Ryan feel better. And when Brendon asks him where the money went, Spencer tells him he spent it on something more important. Brendon narrows his eyes and doesn't say that rent is pretty important, food pretty important.
Ryan loves his cake! He calls Spencer stupid for spending so much money, but he shares it with him. They sit on the side of a fountain in some park and eat bits of cake.
Tom arrives on the coldest day of the year. He uses the old knock, the one none of the have heard since leaving Russia and he's hurt, looks like he could use a bath. Ryan helps him with the shower, bundles him up in as many extra blankets he can find.
Tom sleeps for four days. They give him water whenever he's semi-conscious and some of Jon's awesome soup. He gets better, a little bit.
He can't believe they speak French, that they actually have jobs. He spends months curled up on their floor, getting better.
Tom says something about Ryan liking Jon one day when they're alone. Jon scoffs and gives him more water. they don’t speak about it again, not until the night Ryan curls too far into Jon while sleeping, when he wakes up in the morning hard and pressed against Jon.
They don't have sex, but they talk, a little. Mostly Ryan is cagey and weird; Pete kind of broke his heart. He believes in Brendon and Spencer, but only because it’s Spencer and they're, well, BrendonandSpencer.
Anyway, Jon doesn't get a straight answer, but he starts talking to Tom about it.
Maybe he could do a relationship with Ryan; he's thought about it before, never seriously because he knew about the Pete thing, he used to be the Pete thing. But he's thought about it and looking at Ryan now makes him think about it more, but then, he sort of thinks Ryan like Tom.
He doesn't say this to Tom, its just something he thinks about sometimes. And then randomly, Ryan kisses Tom.
Tom says, "Hey, I don't know. I mean. Jon." and Ryan just replies, "Yes or no, Conrad."
"Yes," Tom replies without hesitation. "Yes, but."
Ryan gives him a look and Tom kisses him, kisses him with teeth and tongue and it's a little dirty. He kisses him and Ryan shuts up, but then he pulls away, pushes him towards the room Ryan shares with Jon. And Ryan knows Jon is in there, knows he's reading or writing letters.
"Tom," he says and it's almost a warning, but mostly a plea. A plea not to do this, not to make him do this. Tom ignores him completely.
Tom kisses Ryan hard, his hands cupped snugly over his shoulder blades. Jon looks up startled. He's sitting at the desk in the corner, writing letters by candlelight. Ryan kisses back, hands clutching at Tom, wherever he can hang on.
Jon makes a noise and they both stop, turn wide eyes toward him.
"Um," Jon says and Ryan just sort of growls. Tom says, "come here."
Jon starts to shake his head, but Ryan makes that sound again, low in his throat and Jon is almost immediately hard. He drops his pen, stands. He's never been all that clumsy but he can't seem to make it across the tiny room without tripping over his own feet.
Tom greets him with a kiss, this one not nearly as rough, it’s persuasive and kind. Familiar.
Ryan threads his fingers through Jon's hair, mouths along the edge of his jaw. Their clothes come off somehow, a whole bunch of hands, touching and kissing. Ryan can't get enough of their skin, Tom pale and Jon a slightly darker shade of tan, both soft, slightly sweaty.
He kisses along the freckles on Jon's shoulder as Tom works on his mouth.
“Please," Jon whispers, the word muffled by Tom's mouth.
Ryan’s sucking on his own fingers, watching the way Tom licks at Jon's mouth and the way his fingers dig into Jon's hips. Ryan rubs his fingers along Jon's crack, smiles against his neck as Jon gasps and moves toward his hand. He's moving between them, one of Tom's hands curling around Jon's dick.
"Bedbedbed," Jon chants at them, half French, half Russian. The three of them stumble towards the tiny mattress, Jon falling onto his back while Tom and Ryan climb over him.
He opens his mouth as Tom straddles his chest, licks at the head of Tom's dick. Ryan’s pressing lightly at his entry as Tom finally pushes into his mouth. Jon's hands grip the worn sheets tightly and his hips buck a little.
He's sucking Tom off the best he can, Ryan finally pressing one finger into him, barely hesitating before adding a second.
Tom doesn't really bother with thrusting, shifts his hips a tiny bit, hands braced on the wall in front of him.
“Come on, Jon," Ryan murmurs and pushes a third finger into him. He works him a tiny bit more, scissors his fingers. Finally when Jon's hips are shifting impatiently, his hands opening and closing around the sheets, Ryan pulls his fingers out. He spits into his hand, uses a bit of Jon's own pre-come to get himself ready.
Ryan pushes in, slow and steady. He doesn't stop until he's all the way in, his forehead resting for a second on Tom's back. He wraps one hand around Jon's dick, the other around Tom's hip and begins thrusting in earnest. Ryan can feel it when Tom comes, partly because Jon flails a bit and partly because he's still pressed as close as possible to Tom.
Ryan comes just after, thrusts wild and completely irregular, hand stroking quickly over Jon's dick. Ryan mumbles when he does come, his hips still moving, his lips pressed against Tom's skin.
He's mumbling complete nonsense and Tom says "Shh. Ryan, hey."
His hand squeezes almost involuntarily around Jon and then Jon comes, his hips twitching heavily, his mouth open. Ryan pulls out, not exactly gentle and he lets Tom kiss him, slow and lazy. He curls up between the two of them, pulls up piles of blankets before he finally passes out.
Tom smooths his hands through Ryan’s hair, over his forehead.
"Thank you," Jon says, his hand closing around Tom's hip.
Spencer and Brendon wake up the next morning and they’re a little surprised. Spencer sort of knew it was going to happen, the Ryan and Jon thing, but Brendon was kind of oblivious. They're happy for them.
Spencer has come to terms with the fact that they aren't going home anytime soon. France has to be home for now. Plus he highly doubts Brendon will ever let him near a train headed anywhere in the same direction as Russia.
disarm_d (7:06:50 PM): panic as russian terrorists!
disarm_d (7:06:53 PM): how would that go?
audreysrev (7:06:58 PM): I have no idea!
audreysrev (7:07:05 PM): they would be an underground group
audreysrev (7:07:13 PM): brent is a spy for the government
So, here it is, reformatted from chatfic.
A Russian Story of Love and Betrayal.
Spencer/Brendon, Ryan/Pete, Ryan/Jon/Tom
NC-17
~5700 words
Notes: I only reformatted, added some emphasis. This is still basically a chatfic. Also, the timeline might be a little off, but most of the stuff that's going on in the background did happen at some point, including the assassination of Alexander II on March 1st, 1881.
They would be an underground group. Brent is a spy for the government. And Brendon, Spencer and Ryan have to escape the country before they get arrested. They meet Jon Walker in Germany and he smuggles them back in.
They know Pete from an intellectual group that Ryan attends to get information. They live in hotels, visiting cities to gather support or find supplies to make their bombs. Pete's planning to assassinate the tsar and Ryan is mostly the brains of the outfit. Brendon and Spencer are the ones doing surveillance, walking the streets and figuring out when the tsar is going to be leaving the palace. Jon does the traveling, visiting small cities surrounding Moscow. He's the one who gathers support and finds the bomb makers. Pete might be fucking Ryan after their meetings, but Ryan won't even tell Spencer.
Spencer was kind of reluctant to get involved, but then Ryan introduced him to Brendon and he supports the cause completely, supports it because Brendon supports it.
Ryan and Spencer are from this tiny town, their parents were peasants on the same farm, worked the same land. And Spencer’s family never hesitated to help Ryan out when his father was having difficulties.
Brendon is a worker in one of the factories when Ryan meets him, they were put in the same room when Ryan left the farm to make more money. Brendon spreads Marxist propaganda at lunch time. Ryan is enthralled and when he goes back to the farm for holidays he tells Spencer all about the boy he met, the one who was a socialist, who talked quietly just before bed about eliminating the tsar and starting their revolution.
The first time they meet, Spencer feels so out of place. He's not like Ryan, still a peasant and Brendon must think he's stupid and not worth his time. Brendon thinks Spencer is one of the smartest people he's ever met, Spencer just gets it.
Brent lived in the same town as Ryan and Spencer, but not on the same farm, went to the city first and sort of lured Ryan away, talking about how wonderful it was and how much money he was making. The four of them form a tiny band of socialists and when Brendon presents them with the idea of terrorism, Brent is the only one reluctant.
After they make their first attempt, an aborted attempt to kill a minister of something, Brent goes to the secret police. Brent is incredibly inept and can't actually tell the police much (Brendon is smart enough to keep the real plans from him). But he tells them enough that they're in danger.
Ryan contacts Pete and Pete finds them a way out of the country. They spend three months in Germany, Berlin mostly and they hate it. Ryan feels a little like a third wheel because he knows what's going to happen between Brendon and Spencer. But they're all miserable and then they meet Jon.
It's completely random, they bump into him at a meeting and Jon mentions Pete. Ryan and Jon bond over the fact that they both know Pete. Jon says maybe he could smuggle them back in, he knows people. Jon's got pretty good connections because he manages to find them three sets of forged identification.
They sneak back in after six months, Pete sends Brendon to Petersburg and Spencer throws a bitchfit, but only to Ryan. He acts sort of distant around Brendon for the remaining few days before he leaves, tries not to get too attached because he knows Brendon might not be coming back.
Brendon does though, comes back with all kinds of pamphlets (which only Brendon would even risk carrying because its super dangerous) and books, a whole bunch of Marxist writings and a few connections with small bands of terrorists in Petersburg. He had a couple close calls with the secret police, cut his visit short by a whole week.
He comes back and he's bubbling with excitement. He kisses Spencer for the first time right after he gets back.
Spencer’s lost weight, has dark bags under his eyes and even Ryan looks worried when Brendon knocks on their door. Ryan curses a little when he sees it's Brendon, pulls him close (even though Ryan isn't very touchy, it's been weeks and he was convinced Brendon wasn't coming back).
Spencer makes a sound from behind him, a desperate little noise that has Brendon pulling away from Ryan, dropping his bags noisily to the floor and taking the two steps it is from Spencer. "Spencer, Spencer," he says and kisses him hard, puts one hand on Spencer’s jaw, the other around the back of his neck and kisses him. Spencer doesn't pull away, wraps his arm around Brendon’s back, pulls him in as close as possible, and kisses him back.
"Welcome home," Ryan says after a while, but the smile is evident in his voice.
When Brendon finally pulls away from Spencer, a whole lot out of breath, he's grinning like a madman.
"Damn, I missed you," he says, including the both of them. He kisses Spencer again, lightly, and repeats, "Missed you so much."
Brendon has to leave right after he arrives, has to make his report to Pete and Spencer is incredibly disinclined to see him go. He tries "you can wait until tomorrow" and "just one more day,” but Brendon just points at the bag of books, pamphlets and says he has to get rid of it as soon as possible. He doesn't want them in danger too.
Spencer kisses him as much as he can before Brendon leaves, kisses him hard, biting at his lips, his jaw. Ryan has to hold Spencer’s arm as Brendon finally leaves, one last glance behind him.
Brendon doesn't come back until the next day and Spencer is pissed, beyond pissed. Two hours, Brendon had said. Two hours and it was almost twenty four before he was knocking at the door again.
He's jittery, though, can't really pay attention to what Ryan is saying, but he's paying attention to what Spencer isn't saying. He pushes Spencer into the back room and kisses him, soft, gentle kisses, wraps a hand around Spencer’s hip, rubs his knuckles over Spencer’s jaw, cheek.
"I'm sorry," he says, over and over again. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
And Spencer finally shushes him, kisses him a little bit harder, not nasty, just harder, presses their hips together. Brendon presses back, pushes Spencer against the closest vertical surface, Ryan’s desk. Hands at the hem of Spencer’s shirt, he says, "hey, are you sure?"
Spencer pulls the shirt off himself, pulls at Brendon’s too until they're pressed together, skin to skin. "I've been sure," he replies and pulls Brendon close. He boosts himself up onto the desk, pulls Brendon between his legs, tugging at Brendon’s pants. He shoves them down and off, pushes at his own until they're sitting next to Brendon’s on the floor.
"Please," he says, voice desperate and he's pulling Brendon as close as possible. "I need," he stops and Brendon pushes Spencer back further onto the desk, pushes him so that his legs are open as wide as possible.
Brendon’s still kissing him, pulls away for a second to push a finger, two into Spencer’s mouth. Spencer sucks on them, licks at them until they're wet enough, until Brendon is pulling them out and replacing them with his mouth, his tongue.
And then he's pushing one into Spencer, pushing past the ring of muscle and Spencer is groaning softly into his mouth, breathing hard and grasping tightly to Brendon’s shoulders. He twists his finger, curls it into Spencer and after a few thrusts he's adding another, twisting two into Spencer and Spencer pushes back against him, shifts his hips as much as possible between the desk and Brendon’s hands. Brendon adds a third finger and Spencer gasps, says, "Please, Brendon. Nownownow."
Brendon pushes his fingers in a couple more times, eyes on Spencer the whole time, watching the way Spencer gasps and squeezes his eyes shut, opens them when Brendon hits the right spot. Brendon pulls them out finally and Spencer groans again, something that sounds almost like Brendon’s name.
Brendon shushes him, spits into his hand and smears it over his dick.
"Ready?" Brendon asks, lips against Spencer’s. Spencer just curses at him and moves his hips impatiently. Brendon chuckles a little bit, but there's an edge to it, a little bit of his own desperation showing through. Then he's pushing in, pressing just the head into Spencer.
Spencer tips his head back, tilts his hips and Brendon starts moving, pushing in until he's all the way in, all the way inside of Spencer and he's kissing him, sloppy and wet.
"Move," Spencer demands, his fingers digging into Brendon’s upper arms. "Move now."
Brendon does, pulls out and thrusts in, a little harder than necessary probably, but Spencer doesn't even wince, just meets Brendon’s thrusts, each one coming harder than the last.
They're picking up speed, moving together and Brendon lifts one hand from the desk where he's holding himself up and wraps it around Spencer’s dick. He uses Spencer’s own pre-come and jerks him off. The rhythm is erratic, Brendon’s hand not matching his thrusts but Spencer doesn't give a shit, just moves with him and then he's coming, all of a sudden.
He's saying Brendon’s name, over and over, clenching around Brendon, and it doesn't take long after that, maybe a few more seconds before Brendon is coming too, Spencer’s name on his lips and his hand still working Spencer through his own orgasm.
They're still moving together, slightly, Spencer shuddering and Brendon going through his own aftershocks when they hear Ryan say from the other room, "I'm going to kill you both."
Brendon fits his mouth over Spencer’s, licks into his mouth and pulls out as gently as possible.
Spencer’s fingers finally relax their grip on Brendon’s arms.
"Ryan’s totally going to kill us," Brendon laughs, pulling Spencer up from the desk, "Especially when he sees this." Spencer laughs and sits up, makes a face.
The papers on Ryan’s desk are folded and in complete disarray, a couple stained.
Ryan brings this up every time Brendon complains about going to Pete's or moving apartments, says, "Hey remember that desk?" and Brendon shuts up.
Pete knows about two seconds after they walk in the door for the next meeting two seconds after Brendon walks in because they never arrive together, that's just asking for trouble.
Pete sidles up to Brendon and says, as quiet as Pete can, "You totally got laid, didn't you?"
Brendon just smiles and raises his eyebrows.
"Maybe," he says.
Pete is certainly not the king of subtle. Lord knows how he succeeds as a leader of a terrorist group. He's sneaky somehow, when he wants to be. And when Spencer shows up about ten minutes later, Pete looks at him, looks at Brendon looks back at Spencer and knows, just like that. Because he is Pete Wentz!
Ryan doesn't show up that night, but they only end up going over some of the ideas of Marxism, some of his tenets and the idea of revolution.
Brendon and Spencer sit across the room from each other and don't even look at each other the whole hour. They leave separately and Pete corners Brendon before he can escape, warns him "be careful."
Ryan shows up early the next morning with a bunch of cuts and scrapes, his left wrist limp.
"What the fuck?" Brendon exclaims when he stumbles into the room. Spencer puts a hand on his shoulder, calms him down.
"I think they know," Ryan mumbles, trying to work the first aid stuff they've got hidden in a bible. "We've got to move."
"We can't, we have to wait," Spencer says before Brendon can even open his mouth.
"They know," Ryan says again, voice sharp.
"You have to move," Spencer continues. "Brendon will go with you."
Brendon’s mouth opens and shuts.
"We have to be careful." They spend the whole day planning. At dawn the next morning, when everyone in the city is going to work, Brendon leaves. Ryan makes sure they're following Brendon before leaving. He goes the other way and finds Jon.
Spencer’s not worried, he is, but Brendon knows what he's doing. Ryan knows what he's doing. He packs up their stuff over the next two days, leaves just as night is falling when a number of people are going home for dinner. It doesn't take long, they don't have much.
He meets Brendon at their new hideout, kisses him hard. Ryan shows up later that day, Jon in tow.
"Pete wants us out," Ryan says over dinner, a couple pieces of bread and some soup Jon throws together. "He wants us to go down to Odessa. Figner's down there and she's building a group, a whole bunch of circles all connected to her."
Brendon doesn't like the sound of it, though. Bigger groups mean more attention and more attention means secret police. Ryan’s still nursing his wrist and a trip down south doesn't sound like the best answer.
"What if we went to Petersburg?" he counters and Jon actually looks like he likes the idea, but he doesn’t speak up.
That night in bed, Brendon tells Spencer he doesn't like it. Odessa gives him a bad feeling.
"But it's Pete," Spencer says, silently agreeing with Brendon. He doesn't like the idea of Odessa, but Vera Figner is there and she was a part of March 1st (the assassination of Alexander II). Ryan will no doubt want to be near her, all that genius in one place. Plus Pete is telling him to go.
Spencer doesn't want to have to decide between Brendon and Ryan, doesn't actually think he could. He wraps himself around Brendon, but it takes him a long time to go to sleep.
Ryan keeps talking about going to Odessa, Brendon only mentions Petersburg one more time and it’s only the presence of Jon that stops him and Ryan from getting into a huge fight. Things are a little strained, especially after the next intellectual meeting. It's as boring as ever, reading and discussing one of Marx's writings.
Afterward, while the members are eating and drinking (vodka!), Pete sits down and talks to Ryan, Spencer, and Brendon, Jon hovers nearby.
"I want you in Odessa," Pete says and it's really a command, Brendon knows. Hell, they all know. But Brendon disagrees with him, tells Pete (again) about the groups he met in Petersburg. and he thinks they could be safe there, thinks they could be really successful. The students there are starting to flourish, more and more starting underground groups when the legal ones are outlawed.
Pete stares at Brendon for a long time, ignores Ryan’s protests.
"You need to move soon," he says after a long while. "The secret police aren't that far off," Pete continues and Brendon actually agrees.
"And we, I, know people in Petersburg. "We don't know Figner, we don't know her groups."
"Your connections put you in danger," Pete says and it’s a dig, a reminder of Brent that makes Brendon’s jaw clench.
"No," Brendon replies, all steel. "Your connections put us in danger."
Pete blinks at him, completely surprised they can all tell. Ryan is mad, can't believe Brendon would say that to Pete, would actually challenge his authority. Spencer looks away from Pete for the first time, looks right at Brendon. Brendon doesn't meet his gaze, but he makes a fist, opens his hand in Spencer’s direction.
"You want to go to Petersburg?" Brendon tilts his head forward and its not really a nod, an acknowledgment really.
"Fine, go to Petersburg." Pete looks at the rest of them, Spencer, Ryan and Jon, each in turn. "Are you going with him?"
They've all got the choice and Spencer’s breath catches. This is the moment, he's going to have to choose.
"Petersburg could be good," Jon says when the other two don't.
Brendon doesn't look away from Pete, but Spencer can see the way he's holding his breath.
"Ryan? Spencer?" Pete prompts them, his voice hard. Do they go to Petersburg, suffer Pete's consequences. Spencer looks at them both, Ryan and then Brendon. He knows who he'll pick, but he has to know where Ryan is going first, has to know.
Ryan meets his eyes.
"Petersburg," he says finally and Spencer nearly sighs from relief. They're going to Petersburg and Spencer realizes that Ryan made his decision because of him, because he was scared.
"Ryan," Spencer says later, when they're alone. "You didn't have to-"
Ryan interrupts him.
"I did. You would have come with me," he's so sure and Spencer can't correct him because he's right. Ryan is practically his brother and he never would have left him.
"I couldn't make you leave him. Not just for Vera Figner." Spencer spends the night curled up with Ryan on the floor.
They find out about Odessa four months after they move to Petersburg. Figner's group is completely destroyed, the police arrest hundreds, even groups in Moscow that were connected to her. There are rumors of a spy and Brendon’s stomach clenches at that.
Hundreds are arrested, convicted, and the groups are dealt a huge blow. Ryan paces the apartment night and day for just over a week until they hear news of Pete.
Jon gets a letter from one of his many contacts, a Tom Conrad that they've all met once or twice. He says Pete is safe, snuck out of Moscow the morning of his arrest. Ryan sends a letter back and he's still a little tense, but at least he's not completely freaking out anymore.
Things are pretty up and down in Petersburg, the groups only have a few members and the workers and students are pretty widely divided. Brendon finds a job in one of the factories, he's got to be able to feed them.
Ryan is helping with one of the student-run presses, writing articles under a different name. Spencer helps with the actual running of the press, helps Jon with his traveling.
It’s busy and Brendon is tired when he gets home at night. Spencer is gone every few weeks. Its a rough time, but they're all flourishing, doing well.
And then it happens again.
The secret police are shutting down groups, the minister of education making laws to outlaw all groups. Ryan’s newspaper puts out one issue before the offices are sacked, the place trashed.
After a long day at work, the day Brendon hears about the strikes in the east, they all sit down. The light is not good, the candle low.
"I think we need to get out," Brendon says. He doesn’t want to go. He hates the tsar and he's been involved in three aborted assassinations, but he loves Russia. Its his home, home for each and every one of them. (Jon is from Poland, but Russia is still his home, sort of.)
Spencer sits real close, his shoulder pressed up against Brendon’s. Ryan’s eyes are closed, his hands tight in his hair.
"I. I don't know," Ryan says and Spencer can feel the ache inside of Ryan, feels it because its the same one their all feeling.
They've got to decide whether to stay in Russia where they could actually do some good. Or they could take the easy road out.
"I know people in Paris, Berlin," Jon says, not really a suggestion, just possibilities.
Brendon nods, leans further into Spencer.
"What do you guys think?" he finally asks, his eyes on Spencer. Spencer laces their fingers together.
"I'm with you," he says, looking first at Brendon and then Ryan.
Ryan nods. "Where do we go?"
"There are people in Paris, a community," Brendon says, but there's reluctance there. He doesn't want to go to Paris, the émigrés in Paris are supportive of the terrorism, sure, but they're not actually doing anything. They're not living it and Brendon doesn't want to become them.
"What if we stay?" Ryan asks, he needs all the information.
"We're in danger, same as always," Brendon replies with a shrug. "But I don't know where we can go. Pete is in Paris, I think."
He's not saying it because it will get a rise out of Ryan, but it has the desired effect. Ryan visibly starts, he hasn’t heard from Pete since just after Figner arrests, just one short letter, an "I'm fine" that Ryan still has, tucked into one of his books.
"We could go to Paris," Ryan says slowly, like he's spelling it out. They don't decide anything that night.
They go to bed and Brendon is restless, tosses and turns for hours before Spencer fucks into him slowly, wears him out a little, enough to sleep.
Brendon works three 12 hours shifts and one 14 before his next day off, Sunday. When he wakes up in the morning, Ryan has decided.
They're going to Paris.
It takes some planning. Jon talks to Tom and his friend Bill in Berlin. He acquires four new passports, completely new identities and they leave a month later.
It's dangerous, an incredibly long trip, but they all make it to Berlin where Bill is waiting. The trip to Paris isn't nearly as dangerous, but almost as long.
Brendon sleeps curled up with Spencer on the train. Ryan watches them from across the aisle and Jon watches him.
Pete isn't exactly waiting for them with open arms. He and Ryan fight for hours while Brendon, Spencer, Jon and a few other guys get drunk. The vodka isn't as good in Paris, but its good enough.
Brendon goes to bed with Spencer and wishes they were back in Russia.
They meet a few of the big names, guys who were around when Alexander was assassinated. Ryan is thrilled to talk to them, loves debating theory and philosophy and he's in heaven. They talk to him about publishing a couple articles.
Jon disappears for days at a time, but he always comes back.
Brendon and Spencer are stuck in this weird place of non-existence. Brendon hasn't found a job and it’s hard. he doesn’t speak French, knows a little Yiddish but nowhere near enough. they're both just sort of drifting.
"I miss it," Spencer says late one night. They're supposed to be sleeping, but sleep hasn’t come easy since they left.
"Me too," Brendon says, his face pressed into Spencer’s neck. They do this every night, it seems. Months and they still haven't gotten used to Paris.
"If we could go back-" Spencer starts, talking with Ryan one day.
"No," is all Ryan says. "No. We're safe here. Pete is here."
"We're not safe anywhere. Brendon wants to go back." Spencer is tired, always tired. "I want to go back."
Ryan doesn't respond, just pulls back into himself for the rest of the day. Spencer throws him worried glances, Ryan doesn’t acknowledge him at all. He greets Brendon with civility, talks nicely with Jon and Pete, doesn't say anything of substance though.
They go to bed early in the morning, Ryan awake still when Brendon gets up for work. He'd found a job in a Jewish store and its no safer than Russia, the French don’t appreciate the Jews anymore than Russians.
"We can go back," Ryan says after a couple days of silence. "If you want."
And now that he's got Ryan’s permission, Spencer doesn’t know what he wants. He wants home and he wants Brendon and he wants Ryan. He's not sure if they're mutually exclusive.
He tells Brendon the next night, after they've kissed and touched and both gotten off, that Ryan said they could go back and Brendon’s not mad exactly, but his face gets a little tight. He rolls away from Spencer, can't go too far, but Spencer feels the distance, the four or five inches.
"Bren?"
"I want to go back," Brendon says, voice tight too. "But it's not worth it. We're safer here."
"We're not," Spencer says, repeating the same thing he told Ryan. "We're not safe anywhere."
"You're not going back," is all Brendon says and then he wraps his arms around himself and goes to sleep.
They're all a little tense the next day. Brendon has the day off for a Jewish holiday and Ryan tiptoes around him, afraid, Spencer thinks, that he's going to pack them up Tomorrow and move them back to Russia.
Ryan fits in here, loves Paris. Jon fits anywhere, Spencer thinks. Brendon fits with him and that’s all that matters to him. If Brendon goes back, Spencer will go (and Ryan will go if Spencer goes, but he doesn't want to force it).
He doesn't think Brendon will go. He knows Brendon wants to go.
Spencer’s still trying to figure him out, the things he used to do, the risks he took versus the things he does now, the risks he refuses to take.
Pete tries to send him to Germany for a month, just a liaison type of thing. Brendon throws the biggest fit Spencer has ever seen. He stays away from Pete, away from all of them but Spencer for the next two days. Finally he goes to Pete, Spencer doesn’t hear what they talk about, only knows that Pete is nodding by the end, resting a hand on Brendon’s shoulder in what he thinks is sympathy.
Brendon doesn’t go to Germany and the next time Pete asks him to go somewhere its close and not for very long. Brendon learns French quicker than the rest of them. Pete has been there for over a year and knows less than Brendon manages to learn in a week.
He teaches Spencer and Ryan at night while they're eating dinner. They're assimilating, not leaving Russia behind, but maybe moving on. Brendon doesn't want to live in the past his whole life, what could have been.
They finally move out of Pete's apartment, Jon's found them something in the same part of town.
Ryan isn't sure if he wants to leave. He's torn between Pete and Spencer (Brendon, Jon), but the appearance of Pete's newest protégé prompts a quick departure by Ryan. He ends up sharing a room with Jon in the new apartment.
They're all speaking French by the time someone catches up with them, the Russian accents making their French rough and common-sounding.
Brendon’s Yiddish gets better and he gets a better job for a Jewish doctor. He's making more money, Jon's got a job in a café. Spencer and Ryan get a job with a popular French newspaper, nothing underground or suspicious. Ryan writes for the paper and Spencer is more technical stuff, more analytical. Ryan more creative.
Ryan gets a letter, third or fourth hand from one of Jon's connections still in Russia. His dad is dead and he's inherited the farmland. Of course, he's also being looked for by the secret police. He replies, says he hopes they can figure out a way to give the land to Spencer’s family.
He doesn't cry, can't even remember what his father looked like. Spencer buys him a cake, something out of their budget that totally makes Ryan feel better. And when Brendon asks him where the money went, Spencer tells him he spent it on something more important. Brendon narrows his eyes and doesn't say that rent is pretty important, food pretty important.
Ryan loves his cake! He calls Spencer stupid for spending so much money, but he shares it with him. They sit on the side of a fountain in some park and eat bits of cake.
Tom arrives on the coldest day of the year. He uses the old knock, the one none of the have heard since leaving Russia and he's hurt, looks like he could use a bath. Ryan helps him with the shower, bundles him up in as many extra blankets he can find.
Tom sleeps for four days. They give him water whenever he's semi-conscious and some of Jon's awesome soup. He gets better, a little bit.
He can't believe they speak French, that they actually have jobs. He spends months curled up on their floor, getting better.
Tom says something about Ryan liking Jon one day when they're alone. Jon scoffs and gives him more water. they don’t speak about it again, not until the night Ryan curls too far into Jon while sleeping, when he wakes up in the morning hard and pressed against Jon.
They don't have sex, but they talk, a little. Mostly Ryan is cagey and weird; Pete kind of broke his heart. He believes in Brendon and Spencer, but only because it’s Spencer and they're, well, BrendonandSpencer.
Anyway, Jon doesn't get a straight answer, but he starts talking to Tom about it.
Maybe he could do a relationship with Ryan; he's thought about it before, never seriously because he knew about the Pete thing, he used to be the Pete thing. But he's thought about it and looking at Ryan now makes him think about it more, but then, he sort of thinks Ryan like Tom.
He doesn't say this to Tom, its just something he thinks about sometimes. And then randomly, Ryan kisses Tom.
Tom says, "Hey, I don't know. I mean. Jon." and Ryan just replies, "Yes or no, Conrad."
"Yes," Tom replies without hesitation. "Yes, but."
Ryan gives him a look and Tom kisses him, kisses him with teeth and tongue and it's a little dirty. He kisses him and Ryan shuts up, but then he pulls away, pushes him towards the room Ryan shares with Jon. And Ryan knows Jon is in there, knows he's reading or writing letters.
"Tom," he says and it's almost a warning, but mostly a plea. A plea not to do this, not to make him do this. Tom ignores him completely.
Tom kisses Ryan hard, his hands cupped snugly over his shoulder blades. Jon looks up startled. He's sitting at the desk in the corner, writing letters by candlelight. Ryan kisses back, hands clutching at Tom, wherever he can hang on.
Jon makes a noise and they both stop, turn wide eyes toward him.
"Um," Jon says and Ryan just sort of growls. Tom says, "come here."
Jon starts to shake his head, but Ryan makes that sound again, low in his throat and Jon is almost immediately hard. He drops his pen, stands. He's never been all that clumsy but he can't seem to make it across the tiny room without tripping over his own feet.
Tom greets him with a kiss, this one not nearly as rough, it’s persuasive and kind. Familiar.
Ryan threads his fingers through Jon's hair, mouths along the edge of his jaw. Their clothes come off somehow, a whole bunch of hands, touching and kissing. Ryan can't get enough of their skin, Tom pale and Jon a slightly darker shade of tan, both soft, slightly sweaty.
He kisses along the freckles on Jon's shoulder as Tom works on his mouth.
“Please," Jon whispers, the word muffled by Tom's mouth.
Ryan’s sucking on his own fingers, watching the way Tom licks at Jon's mouth and the way his fingers dig into Jon's hips. Ryan rubs his fingers along Jon's crack, smiles against his neck as Jon gasps and moves toward his hand. He's moving between them, one of Tom's hands curling around Jon's dick.
"Bedbedbed," Jon chants at them, half French, half Russian. The three of them stumble towards the tiny mattress, Jon falling onto his back while Tom and Ryan climb over him.
He opens his mouth as Tom straddles his chest, licks at the head of Tom's dick. Ryan’s pressing lightly at his entry as Tom finally pushes into his mouth. Jon's hands grip the worn sheets tightly and his hips buck a little.
He's sucking Tom off the best he can, Ryan finally pressing one finger into him, barely hesitating before adding a second.
Tom doesn't really bother with thrusting, shifts his hips a tiny bit, hands braced on the wall in front of him.
“Come on, Jon," Ryan murmurs and pushes a third finger into him. He works him a tiny bit more, scissors his fingers. Finally when Jon's hips are shifting impatiently, his hands opening and closing around the sheets, Ryan pulls his fingers out. He spits into his hand, uses a bit of Jon's own pre-come to get himself ready.
Ryan pushes in, slow and steady. He doesn't stop until he's all the way in, his forehead resting for a second on Tom's back. He wraps one hand around Jon's dick, the other around Tom's hip and begins thrusting in earnest. Ryan can feel it when Tom comes, partly because Jon flails a bit and partly because he's still pressed as close as possible to Tom.
Ryan comes just after, thrusts wild and completely irregular, hand stroking quickly over Jon's dick. Ryan mumbles when he does come, his hips still moving, his lips pressed against Tom's skin.
He's mumbling complete nonsense and Tom says "Shh. Ryan, hey."
His hand squeezes almost involuntarily around Jon and then Jon comes, his hips twitching heavily, his mouth open. Ryan pulls out, not exactly gentle and he lets Tom kiss him, slow and lazy. He curls up between the two of them, pulls up piles of blankets before he finally passes out.
Tom smooths his hands through Ryan’s hair, over his forehead.
"Thank you," Jon says, his hand closing around Tom's hip.
Spencer and Brendon wake up the next morning and they’re a little surprised. Spencer sort of knew it was going to happen, the Ryan and Jon thing, but Brendon was kind of oblivious. They're happy for them.
Spencer has come to terms with the fact that they aren't going home anytime soon. France has to be home for now. Plus he highly doubts Brendon will ever let him near a train headed anywhere in the same direction as Russia.