Amanda saying i made her Lesbian
Ok, i was sexually abused by man, this was before i was ever with a girl. My fiancee hates anything that reminds her of her sexual abused experience. But yet when when lived in the apartment together, she never could get rid of the Rocky Horror picture show stuff or see why it was so bad. First it has coarse joking in it which is forbidden in the bible. Second, it does promote homosexuality.
To too it off, my fiancee said with such a mean hateful voice, that i was the one who made her go gay. It was because of guys like me she said.
You know, i hate perversity also. But she acts like I'm the worst guy in the world. Yet I want a sweet romantic relationship. Things like her standing on my feet as we walk through the apartment are memories i cherish most.
I think her telling me "guys like you made me a lesbian" is some prettty cold ass stuff. How would she like it if she was the one who supported me for a year, worked 80 hours a week, while me or my friends stole stuff from her, and i gave her constant drama to deal with, on top of asking her if i was good loooking all the time,(maybe i would look bad in her eyes now matter how good looking i was if i pulled that crap.) what if i also would call her and demanded for her to come home right this instant, or ill use the ATM card and overdraft? What if she came home and i was or my friends were shooting up? What if I physically abused her on top of it, breaking a finger of her's and smashing her in the head with a phone just because i asked her if she ever been to an adult bookstore and she said "yes, 3 years ago, but a friend needed to pick up shoes and I had no idea where i was taking them till i got there, I never even looked at anything. ANd i dont like those places." (after i break her fingers, i proceed to tell her "I need to go get high. you just stressed me out, and leave.)
She tries to get me to read the bible with her and go to church. I normaly tell her im too tired so she'll leave me alone. She says it would really help her if i read with her and went to church. I tell her ill go the next time. But i normally say its too hrd to wake up and never go.
She still tells me she loves me. ANd I tell her the sweetest, most romantic things i can think of. She seems like she understands. SOmetimes i sing to her cause she tells me i have the best voice she ever heard and it melts her.
What if I called her stupid? What if i never admitted i was wrong? What if i never worked, and never cleaned the apartment, and just instead went out with my friends to the clubs? She asks me to do dishes, but i never do. its about the oly thing she asks. I then ask her to please clean the liter box of my cat. And tell her to please get my clothes out of the car and bring them up. She loves to go out dancing, but whenever i go out with her, i normally get jealous and cause a scene and wont let her dance. She gets sad and says she really misses being able to dance. But eventually she doesnt even ask about going out to dance. But I like clubs and I still go out dancing with my friends.
Then let's say one day, when the lease is about to end she says, chris, I love you but I think this is good that we take some time apart. Im just gonna let the lease run out,. I think we need some time. PLus i have accumulated alot of bills since we been here, its been a little hard trying to support us and i just want to catch up and also buy a few things i need.
We finally move out. I call her 3 times and she never answers. I decide to just go out with this girl and make her my girlfriend. Finally Amanda calls me from detroit saying that she just wanted to go out dancing one time before she called me. She said she made that deal with herself. SHe appologized for not returning my calls, but said she was really burned out and just needed time to think. She asks me if I would like to go out sometime. I tell her ok.
We go out on a few dates. They are really wonderful. I tell her that she still needs to prove i can trust her. I'm kinda upset she didnt return my calls. SHe tells me she never cheated and always loved me, just wanted to have a little time to think about things cause it got frustrating for her. I dont have a clue what she means by being frustrated and tell her I dont know if i can trust her.
Well after 3 really nice dates where she bought me dinner and even some clothes, i call her up. Im kinda upset. See i just sent out pictures to my friend thor and this other girl. The girl told me i looked like a woman. Amnda tells me i dont look like a girl at all, but then tells me they arent the best pictures. I tell her "FUCK YOU! Im hurting. I dont feel good looking. I dont feel special. And tell her to go to hell and slam the phone down.
She write me a angry letter telling me she never wants to speak to me again. She says she is frustrated. Says that i took it the wrong way, and she is tired of me getting mad at her and hanging up. She said hanging up is offensive, like saying i want to be disconnected from you. I dont want to work this out. Says it really hurts her feels. She goes on to tell me how beautiful i am. Then says she is so frustrated i wont talk things out and hates how i automatically assume the worst and get so angry at her."
About a day later, I see her at my frint door. She says she walked out here. I said from where? Where is your car? She tells me she walked 70 miles from downtown all the way out to my house. I ask her why? She tells me, "You know that song, 'i would walk 500 miles?' You told me you didnt feel special and seemed upset so i walked all the way out here to show how commited i am to you and how beautiful and special you are to me." I dont even bother to pick up her flowers. Im still pissed at her. She asks me if Im the least bit flattered. I tell her, eh, kinda. I tell her there is no way i can take her home. I have no car. She tells me it is ok, she'll figure something out. I have her step in so she cam call someone to pick her up.
---now dont forget, amanda has been sexually abused as a child by a male baby sitter-----
As she is in my room, i tell her, "I'm a child molester now. And it's because of girls like you!" I go on a website and pull up child molestation stuff and show her that i'm a member. I show her a pictire of this girl dressed up like a 12 year old. (thats the girl that told me i looked like a woman. Took my anger out on amanda for it the last time we talke don the phone.) SHe is very upset, which i can't understand why. SHe was the total bitch. I told her I had to do it. SHe lays on the floor in a fetal position like someone just stabbed her in the stomache. Cant figure out why she is so upset. She then starts to tell me "Look, i took care of you for a year, i worked two jobs, did all the housework, people stole stuff........... I cut her off. I yell at her "YOU ARENT INSULTING ME AND PUTTING ME DOWN IN MY HOUSE!!!! GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She gets frustrated and hits herself in the head with a bottle and crys. I tell her to "GET OUT YOU PSYCHO!!!!!!" She walks calmly out the door crying.
Later she write me an email, feeling guilty, feeling afraid she might hve really done something wrong. I never answer. Finally she resorts to saying something perverted, thinking that maybe since i was perverted and the fact that guys always have left her because they told her she wasnt perverted enough, that if maybe she writes something perverted to me, maybe ill stay with her. I read that email, and write back to her telling her she is sick and immoral and thats the reason why im going this way now. I tell her she is a fricken pig and want nothingto do with her. She later writes to me telling me she wrote that because she thought that was the reason i was leaving, but in actuality really wants nothing to do with that. I never answer her back. She keeps sending letters, some really romantic. Finally she has the gall to post something on my live journal. Ewwwww, im so angry. I wrote to her telling her she is a sick psychopath and that i never want anything to do with her. I tell her she is ugly and a loser.
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How would you feel, if you tried so hard to make someone happy, you were sexually abused before you were with this person, then they turn around and become exactly like the person who sexually abused you and they told you it was your fault?
To too it off, my fiancee said with such a mean hateful voice, that i was the one who made her go gay. It was because of guys like me she said.
You know, i hate perversity also. But she acts like I'm the worst guy in the world. Yet I want a sweet romantic relationship. Things like her standing on my feet as we walk through the apartment are memories i cherish most.
I think her telling me "guys like you made me a lesbian" is some prettty cold ass stuff. How would she like it if she was the one who supported me for a year, worked 80 hours a week, while me or my friends stole stuff from her, and i gave her constant drama to deal with, on top of asking her if i was good loooking all the time,(maybe i would look bad in her eyes now matter how good looking i was if i pulled that crap.) what if i also would call her and demanded for her to come home right this instant, or ill use the ATM card and overdraft? What if she came home and i was or my friends were shooting up? What if I physically abused her on top of it, breaking a finger of her's and smashing her in the head with a phone just because i asked her if she ever been to an adult bookstore and she said "yes, 3 years ago, but a friend needed to pick up shoes and I had no idea where i was taking them till i got there, I never even looked at anything. ANd i dont like those places." (after i break her fingers, i proceed to tell her "I need to go get high. you just stressed me out, and leave.)
She tries to get me to read the bible with her and go to church. I normaly tell her im too tired so she'll leave me alone. She says it would really help her if i read with her and went to church. I tell her ill go the next time. But i normally say its too hrd to wake up and never go.
She still tells me she loves me. ANd I tell her the sweetest, most romantic things i can think of. She seems like she understands. SOmetimes i sing to her cause she tells me i have the best voice she ever heard and it melts her.
What if I called her stupid? What if i never admitted i was wrong? What if i never worked, and never cleaned the apartment, and just instead went out with my friends to the clubs? She asks me to do dishes, but i never do. its about the oly thing she asks. I then ask her to please clean the liter box of my cat. And tell her to please get my clothes out of the car and bring them up. She loves to go out dancing, but whenever i go out with her, i normally get jealous and cause a scene and wont let her dance. She gets sad and says she really misses being able to dance. But eventually she doesnt even ask about going out to dance. But I like clubs and I still go out dancing with my friends.
Then let's say one day, when the lease is about to end she says, chris, I love you but I think this is good that we take some time apart. Im just gonna let the lease run out,. I think we need some time. PLus i have accumulated alot of bills since we been here, its been a little hard trying to support us and i just want to catch up and also buy a few things i need.
We finally move out. I call her 3 times and she never answers. I decide to just go out with this girl and make her my girlfriend. Finally Amanda calls me from detroit saying that she just wanted to go out dancing one time before she called me. She said she made that deal with herself. SHe appologized for not returning my calls, but said she was really burned out and just needed time to think. She asks me if I would like to go out sometime. I tell her ok.
We go out on a few dates. They are really wonderful. I tell her that she still needs to prove i can trust her. I'm kinda upset she didnt return my calls. SHe tells me she never cheated and always loved me, just wanted to have a little time to think about things cause it got frustrating for her. I dont have a clue what she means by being frustrated and tell her I dont know if i can trust her.
Well after 3 really nice dates where she bought me dinner and even some clothes, i call her up. Im kinda upset. See i just sent out pictures to my friend thor and this other girl. The girl told me i looked like a woman. Amnda tells me i dont look like a girl at all, but then tells me they arent the best pictures. I tell her "FUCK YOU! Im hurting. I dont feel good looking. I dont feel special. And tell her to go to hell and slam the phone down.
She write me a angry letter telling me she never wants to speak to me again. She says she is frustrated. Says that i took it the wrong way, and she is tired of me getting mad at her and hanging up. She said hanging up is offensive, like saying i want to be disconnected from you. I dont want to work this out. Says it really hurts her feels. She goes on to tell me how beautiful i am. Then says she is so frustrated i wont talk things out and hates how i automatically assume the worst and get so angry at her."
About a day later, I see her at my frint door. She says she walked out here. I said from where? Where is your car? She tells me she walked 70 miles from downtown all the way out to my house. I ask her why? She tells me, "You know that song, 'i would walk 500 miles?' You told me you didnt feel special and seemed upset so i walked all the way out here to show how commited i am to you and how beautiful and special you are to me." I dont even bother to pick up her flowers. Im still pissed at her. She asks me if Im the least bit flattered. I tell her, eh, kinda. I tell her there is no way i can take her home. I have no car. She tells me it is ok, she'll figure something out. I have her step in so she cam call someone to pick her up.
---now dont forget, amanda has been sexually abused as a child by a male baby sitter-----
As she is in my room, i tell her, "I'm a child molester now. And it's because of girls like you!" I go on a website and pull up child molestation stuff and show her that i'm a member. I show her a pictire of this girl dressed up like a 12 year old. (thats the girl that told me i looked like a woman. Took my anger out on amanda for it the last time we talke don the phone.) SHe is very upset, which i can't understand why. SHe was the total bitch. I told her I had to do it. SHe lays on the floor in a fetal position like someone just stabbed her in the stomache. Cant figure out why she is so upset. She then starts to tell me "Look, i took care of you for a year, i worked two jobs, did all the housework, people stole stuff........... I cut her off. I yell at her "YOU ARENT INSULTING ME AND PUTTING ME DOWN IN MY HOUSE!!!! GET OUT BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She gets frustrated and hits herself in the head with a bottle and crys. I tell her to "GET OUT YOU PSYCHO!!!!!!" She walks calmly out the door crying.
Later she write me an email, feeling guilty, feeling afraid she might hve really done something wrong. I never answer. Finally she resorts to saying something perverted, thinking that maybe since i was perverted and the fact that guys always have left her because they told her she wasnt perverted enough, that if maybe she writes something perverted to me, maybe ill stay with her. I read that email, and write back to her telling her she is sick and immoral and thats the reason why im going this way now. I tell her she is a fricken pig and want nothingto do with her. She later writes to me telling me she wrote that because she thought that was the reason i was leaving, but in actuality really wants nothing to do with that. I never answer her back. She keeps sending letters, some really romantic. Finally she has the gall to post something on my live journal. Ewwwww, im so angry. I wrote to her telling her she is a sick psychopath and that i never want anything to do with her. I tell her she is ugly and a loser.
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How would you feel, if you tried so hard to make someone happy, you were sexually abused before you were with this person, then they turn around and become exactly like the person who sexually abused you and they told you it was your fault?