you said you hate my suffering.
liz is talking to her brother in california, im listening to bright eyes.
there are things happening that i have never felt before. things that have been opened up to me. i have a relationship, a long term relationship. i have formed a bond that i cannot even understand. this girl, she tolerates when i flip out and get mad, when i throw tantrums, when i go on my long blabbing talks about things that i cannot stand, when i complain about even being hungry or tired or sad...
she's there.
it scares me. it will always. to give yourself up to chance is something i never agreed with. but now im willing. i dont care if my heart gets torn apart in a blender. it was all worth it. like those faces she makes when she's inhaling a pint of ben and jerrys'.
even her roommates are amazing. tonight i had a great talk with stacey. i care about her so much. she shouldn't be hurt. and there are those times i go into erica's room when she's spooning with her boyfriend and i want to bring their cat marley in because he's freaking out. we just fucking joke around about cock blocking. and then there's sarah who can sing and dance like the best, she has such a gentle heart. stefani is dating a domincan and her parents have basically disowned her in a sense. and i want to be there for her, because i admire her. to be able to stand against racist parents.
im learning so much here.
this. this is what i have wished for for all my life. that little toned body over there sitting on the bed. thats what i have wanted all my life. but dont get me wrong im terrified. i shouldnt have found my forever now. im too young. but if i can keep it going it makes me a better and stronger person. last night we hung out with my boss. i can't count the amount of times she said "i fucking love liz. she's a keeper. i get that you're young. but god, i wish you two could stay forever."
she'll go to australia and ill be here. and i'll be dedicated. and when she comes back we'll make babies, like she's coming back from war. then there's this second guessing. what if i veer from the path. i mean she'll be gone for 5 months. but you know, i can't. if i do. IF i do. that's it. and im not willing to deal with the end. there is no end in my mind with her. she is the one.
yah. it's true. im mad about her. and im scared. that's love right?
there are things happening that i have never felt before. things that have been opened up to me. i have a relationship, a long term relationship. i have formed a bond that i cannot even understand. this girl, she tolerates when i flip out and get mad, when i throw tantrums, when i go on my long blabbing talks about things that i cannot stand, when i complain about even being hungry or tired or sad...
she's there.
it scares me. it will always. to give yourself up to chance is something i never agreed with. but now im willing. i dont care if my heart gets torn apart in a blender. it was all worth it. like those faces she makes when she's inhaling a pint of ben and jerrys'.
even her roommates are amazing. tonight i had a great talk with stacey. i care about her so much. she shouldn't be hurt. and there are those times i go into erica's room when she's spooning with her boyfriend and i want to bring their cat marley in because he's freaking out. we just fucking joke around about cock blocking. and then there's sarah who can sing and dance like the best, she has such a gentle heart. stefani is dating a domincan and her parents have basically disowned her in a sense. and i want to be there for her, because i admire her. to be able to stand against racist parents.
im learning so much here.
this. this is what i have wished for for all my life. that little toned body over there sitting on the bed. thats what i have wanted all my life. but dont get me wrong im terrified. i shouldnt have found my forever now. im too young. but if i can keep it going it makes me a better and stronger person. last night we hung out with my boss. i can't count the amount of times she said "i fucking love liz. she's a keeper. i get that you're young. but god, i wish you two could stay forever."
she'll go to australia and ill be here. and i'll be dedicated. and when she comes back we'll make babies, like she's coming back from war. then there's this second guessing. what if i veer from the path. i mean she'll be gone for 5 months. but you know, i can't. if i do. IF i do. that's it. and im not willing to deal with the end. there is no end in my mind with her. she is the one.
yah. it's true. im mad about her. and im scared. that's love right?