without the rain, there wouldn't be rainbows
i finally showed my mother who i really am. i came out to her tonight. before i told her, i gave her a million hugs at the mere chance that i wouldnt be able to get one after that. after stressing out all night about thinking what i could say, how i could explain that im not any different then her little baby girl she held in her hands, i ran downstairs to find her. she was sitting in the bath tub. i came in...i stood by the sink looking in the mirror. i said "mom...you love me right?"
"of course."
"no matter what?"
"yes bubby."
"ok well i have to tell you something. it's big and i don't want you to get upset with me, promise you won't."
"ok..." (i hear splashing in the tub,she continues to clean herself.)
"i'm gay."
"i don't care. now wash my back."
i turn around, i grab the soap and i stop myself from crying. and i wash her back.
i never knew how lucky i was until tonight. i didn't know my mom could accept me. i know now. and i can't stop crying. all my anger i kept inside because i never knew who could accept me, wasn't needed.
so after the bath tub i went upstairs and cried. because she cares. because i know she loves me.
then i went into her room and i told her what dad said to me at the christmas party. in front of everyone totally embarassing me and making me feel so vulnerable. she said "forget him. that's terrible. it doesnt matter what anyone thinks. but im saying my prayers now."
so i left. it makes me sad...just a little. because i know she's saying her prayers for me.
"of course."
"no matter what?"
"yes bubby."
"ok well i have to tell you something. it's big and i don't want you to get upset with me, promise you won't."
"ok..." (i hear splashing in the tub,she continues to clean herself.)
"i'm gay."
"i don't care. now wash my back."
i turn around, i grab the soap and i stop myself from crying. and i wash her back.
i never knew how lucky i was until tonight. i didn't know my mom could accept me. i know now. and i can't stop crying. all my anger i kept inside because i never knew who could accept me, wasn't needed.
so after the bath tub i went upstairs and cried. because she cares. because i know she loves me.
then i went into her room and i told her what dad said to me at the christmas party. in front of everyone totally embarassing me and making me feel so vulnerable. she said "forget him. that's terrible. it doesnt matter what anyone thinks. but im saying my prayers now."
so i left. it makes me sad...just a little. because i know she's saying her prayers for me.