an update.
so... I guess I haven't updated in while... but whatever, doin' it now.
I might be able to pull off an A in all of my classes... socio, and chem are up in the air though. Math I'm pretty sure about, but I won't know until I get my second midterm back.
It's gonna be five months officially for me and Katie tomorrow. But I won't elaborate any further on us, because I guess most people would suppose I was bragging, or they don't care anyway. I'm happy, and I am pretty sure she is too, and that's all that really matters.
I never stop looking... but sometimes I stop caring. It is unfair to pile everything on one person, and I try not to, but sometimes... it's all I have left.
My family is fine I suppose. I guess money wise we're getting very tight, so starting winter quarter I am gonna try and work as much as possible, as well as try and obtain some free money... or just take out a loan. My sister is in first grade and she is doing really well. My mom cries a lot. And my dad doesn't talk too much. None of which is really news.
I suppose I am missing the great reunion bonfire. The one everyone goes to after their first 8 or more weeks at school. I guess I feel like I am missing out... but for some reason it's not that big a deal anymore.
It used to piss me off when I missed a party six months ago...
There's no one left on my floor tonight other than me. I feel alone. It's kinda nice. No one's gonna be there every time you fall, and I am trying to learn that. And be happy at the same time.
It's weird because I just want to focus on my goal and shut everyone out, but I can't close my horizons because I am still in love. It helps, because it keeps me from taking the easy way out. Which I did for a long time.
I miss the old crew, or as Mason called them, "the usual suspects" every now and then. But then I remember, so do they, because no one's the same, everyone has changed. Some more than others though.
I guess I am one of those.
I haven't lost sight of friendships... my priorities have just changed so much. I would rather be successful and content in myself and my accomplishments, before I try to be friends with everyone. And the ones I still love and care about always seem too far out of reach when I feel alone, that there's no other way than to help yourself.
I guess I am sad that I am not sad about what I should be sad about.
It's sad.
Oh well... I need to finish packing. And then I have to go check on my car, and put stuff away.
The new Finger Eleven cd is not as great as their last one, but it's growing on me.
"As simple as they can
They’re telling you again
What they think you’ve done is so unbecoming"
"So cruel to be so blind
Darkness was on my side
Now that you’ve come and gone
I know where I belong"
"Careful what you’re feeling on the inside
You should try to remember the good times and the high life
Are you feeling alright?
Felt that I belonged
And now I feel that gone
Where it all went wrong
I traced it all along
Back here again"
"Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons
And they’ll go on and they won’t let go
They saw something that they know
Has never come so close
Can it stay here for us, for now?"
"Feel the way through your revelation
Does it feel the way you want to?"
"Now that I can’t exchange actions for words
Now that I found these inside fears the worst
Now that I know there’s no place left to hide
Can I become all I thought I might"
"Cancel my therapy cause
I just thought of you
and now I feel fine"
"Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds"
"This heart is not a broken one
But where have all the colors gone
It’s still among the lucky ones"
I'm talking to katie now... so everything gets put on hold. hahaha, losers.
I might be able to pull off an A in all of my classes... socio, and chem are up in the air though. Math I'm pretty sure about, but I won't know until I get my second midterm back.
It's gonna be five months officially for me and Katie tomorrow. But I won't elaborate any further on us, because I guess most people would suppose I was bragging, or they don't care anyway. I'm happy, and I am pretty sure she is too, and that's all that really matters.
I never stop looking... but sometimes I stop caring. It is unfair to pile everything on one person, and I try not to, but sometimes... it's all I have left.
My family is fine I suppose. I guess money wise we're getting very tight, so starting winter quarter I am gonna try and work as much as possible, as well as try and obtain some free money... or just take out a loan. My sister is in first grade and she is doing really well. My mom cries a lot. And my dad doesn't talk too much. None of which is really news.
I suppose I am missing the great reunion bonfire. The one everyone goes to after their first 8 or more weeks at school. I guess I feel like I am missing out... but for some reason it's not that big a deal anymore.
It used to piss me off when I missed a party six months ago...
There's no one left on my floor tonight other than me. I feel alone. It's kinda nice. No one's gonna be there every time you fall, and I am trying to learn that. And be happy at the same time.
It's weird because I just want to focus on my goal and shut everyone out, but I can't close my horizons because I am still in love. It helps, because it keeps me from taking the easy way out. Which I did for a long time.
I miss the old crew, or as Mason called them, "the usual suspects" every now and then. But then I remember, so do they, because no one's the same, everyone has changed. Some more than others though.
I guess I am one of those.
I haven't lost sight of friendships... my priorities have just changed so much. I would rather be successful and content in myself and my accomplishments, before I try to be friends with everyone. And the ones I still love and care about always seem too far out of reach when I feel alone, that there's no other way than to help yourself.
I guess I am sad that I am not sad about what I should be sad about.
It's sad.
Oh well... I need to finish packing. And then I have to go check on my car, and put stuff away.
The new Finger Eleven cd is not as great as their last one, but it's growing on me.
"As simple as they can
They’re telling you again
What they think you’ve done is so unbecoming"
"So cruel to be so blind
Darkness was on my side
Now that you’ve come and gone
I know where I belong"
"Careful what you’re feeling on the inside
You should try to remember the good times and the high life
Are you feeling alright?
Felt that I belonged
And now I feel that gone
Where it all went wrong
I traced it all along
Back here again"
"Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons
And they’ll go on and they won’t let go
They saw something that they know
Has never come so close
Can it stay here for us, for now?"
"Feel the way through your revelation
Does it feel the way you want to?"
"Now that I can’t exchange actions for words
Now that I found these inside fears the worst
Now that I know there’s no place left to hide
Can I become all I thought I might"
"Cancel my therapy cause
I just thought of you
and now I feel fine"
"Even though I know
I don’t want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds"
"This heart is not a broken one
But where have all the colors gone
It’s still among the lucky ones"
I'm talking to katie now... so everything gets put on hold. hahaha, losers.