R.I.P. Jeff Abbey
Jeff,
I know it's too late now. I won't be able to say these things to you face to face, and I still can't wrap my head around that. The thought that when I come back and swing by your house and I won't be able to see you has never passed through my head. Now it's a reality. I miss you already. Everyone does. But it's not one of those things where people mourn you after you're gone. You know all these people loved you and you never once overlooked that. You are one of my best friends, and I will always miss all the random stories and facts you told me. I will miss the way you gave me ideas that drove katie up the wall. From the drug stories to the homemade tattoos. All I can do now is go over the ones you have already told me... over and over. I know that considering the circumstances you are happy with the what has happened, you were too action packed to live life the way you would have had to if you had come back to us. I remember all the books you would always read and that heavyass firemens outfit you let me try. Sitting still all day would definitely not have been your thing. I know that bullshit about "people never die, they're always with you" and the crap about "they're going to a new place" or "they're starting a new journey" but fuck that, I want your physical presence here as well. I still owe you that beer and that burrito, and that's a debt I will never repay. And I will always remember how much you have given me every time I wear that vest, or go to nico's, or have a guinness, newcastle, corona, or pacifico (I think I got most of your choice picks in that list). And that's a lot of reminding because when I am not drinking I feel like crying, so I'm always trying to drink. But that's done with now. I know you would want me to take care of her. And I will. I will love her with everything we have. I won't let this drown in the wake of grief. And I will try to be a friend to your son. And I will help Mary with whatever I can. I can't remodel bathrooms like you can... but maybe I'll work my way up to it. When it comes to being a friend, dad, and husband, you were the shit. Hands down. I'm just your daughter's boyfriend, I won't compare. But you made me feel like family, you always did that. I never felt awkward, from day one, when I came over. And you slowly weened me off of handshakes and "Mr. Abbey's" to hugs and a lighthearted "jeff". I know dads and boyfriends are fighting for the attentions of the same girl, but it seemed that katie was always dragging us away from each other. You were the best competition ever. And I promise I won't abuse the love she has chosen to give me. And I won't forsake the faith you put in me. And the sense of family you made me feel. I will do everything I can to alleviate the weight of what they have been left with. Jeff I will do my best to spread love the way you did, with a smile in the face of everything, with an open mind, and with a very all encompassing appetite. I miss you. But I promise I will buckle down and learn how to come through where those doctors fell short. I will love Katie ten times more, and not let this keep her from all the experiences she should have and all the places we both know she was destined to see. I will think of you always, as many will. And I will face this, I won't avoid it in ways I know would disappoint you. I raise this drink to you, and the life you led. May mine compare.
Your Nico's Buddy.
Milano
I know it's too late now. I won't be able to say these things to you face to face, and I still can't wrap my head around that. The thought that when I come back and swing by your house and I won't be able to see you has never passed through my head. Now it's a reality. I miss you already. Everyone does. But it's not one of those things where people mourn you after you're gone. You know all these people loved you and you never once overlooked that. You are one of my best friends, and I will always miss all the random stories and facts you told me. I will miss the way you gave me ideas that drove katie up the wall. From the drug stories to the homemade tattoos. All I can do now is go over the ones you have already told me... over and over. I know that considering the circumstances you are happy with the what has happened, you were too action packed to live life the way you would have had to if you had come back to us. I remember all the books you would always read and that heavyass firemens outfit you let me try. Sitting still all day would definitely not have been your thing. I know that bullshit about "people never die, they're always with you" and the crap about "they're going to a new place" or "they're starting a new journey" but fuck that, I want your physical presence here as well. I still owe you that beer and that burrito, and that's a debt I will never repay. And I will always remember how much you have given me every time I wear that vest, or go to nico's, or have a guinness, newcastle, corona, or pacifico (I think I got most of your choice picks in that list). And that's a lot of reminding because when I am not drinking I feel like crying, so I'm always trying to drink. But that's done with now. I know you would want me to take care of her. And I will. I will love her with everything we have. I won't let this drown in the wake of grief. And I will try to be a friend to your son. And I will help Mary with whatever I can. I can't remodel bathrooms like you can... but maybe I'll work my way up to it. When it comes to being a friend, dad, and husband, you were the shit. Hands down. I'm just your daughter's boyfriend, I won't compare. But you made me feel like family, you always did that. I never felt awkward, from day one, when I came over. And you slowly weened me off of handshakes and "Mr. Abbey's" to hugs and a lighthearted "jeff". I know dads and boyfriends are fighting for the attentions of the same girl, but it seemed that katie was always dragging us away from each other. You were the best competition ever. And I promise I won't abuse the love she has chosen to give me. And I won't forsake the faith you put in me. And the sense of family you made me feel. I will do everything I can to alleviate the weight of what they have been left with. Jeff I will do my best to spread love the way you did, with a smile in the face of everything, with an open mind, and with a very all encompassing appetite. I miss you. But I promise I will buckle down and learn how to come through where those doctors fell short. I will love Katie ten times more, and not let this keep her from all the experiences she should have and all the places we both know she was destined to see. I will think of you always, as many will. And I will face this, I won't avoid it in ways I know would disappoint you. I raise this drink to you, and the life you led. May mine compare.
Your Nico's Buddy.
Milano