when i knew i wasnt done
I am giving up on greener grasses.
i did it again. i waited all day for her. i took her to a movie. i stood next to her feeling full of life and happy.
we went to bed at 1.
no first. i have to start with this. i sat here all day. alone and lonely. i waited and died a little at a time until she sent a text and made a phone call and she breathed a little life back in to me. she told me she would just have her sister in law take her to the air port and i knew she didnt want to visit that place that we go together again. i knew i had to really let it go. it was a farewell tour that ended and I needed to go on. but she changed her mind. she stayed with me and i would again take her to the airport. again... all of this is a rerun.
we went to bed at one. we didnt touch. her breathing was even and mine unsteady. i stared out at the sky from my window and I waited and waited for sleep to come. then she says. "i can't not spoon when there is someone to spoon with" so was touch.
my hand is in hers. we dont stop moving. i will remember ever part of her. i kept it all in my memory. i wish that i could make everyone in the world understand the beating heart moments. the intensity of just her thumb sliding across my fingers. i can't be close enough to her. i can't get close enough. i just want to sink all the way in to her and disappear. i wake up this morning with her head on my chest and my fingers in her hair and my lips still close to her forehead where i kissed her over and over again trying to tell her with out words that i absolutely love you.
the best part of the whole thing. every time that this happens. is that we never speak. we dont make a sound. its all body.
i took her to the airport this morning. i watched her walk away again. i never know when i will see her again. i never know if its the last time. i know she wont forget. I know i will never forget. but i dont know if I will ever feel that way again. that one certain way when sleep isn't in the equation and words are unnecessary.
im a beauty school student in boise idaho. i have little offer the world. my voice is small and my ripples are not a tide, they dont change the world around me. just a few lives intertwined with mine. the girl that she has been with is making the world a better place for those suffering, every day. she travels the world building foundations for new tomorrows. i can't compete. i am not a co director or editor or anything. all i know is my life and how i want the world to be and all i know is that sometimes a new hairstyle can save a day for going badly. i do what i can. but i wouldnt choose me. not when you could be the girl behind the girl saving the world.
i did it again. i waited all day for her. i took her to a movie. i stood next to her feeling full of life and happy.
we went to bed at 1.
no first. i have to start with this. i sat here all day. alone and lonely. i waited and died a little at a time until she sent a text and made a phone call and she breathed a little life back in to me. she told me she would just have her sister in law take her to the air port and i knew she didnt want to visit that place that we go together again. i knew i had to really let it go. it was a farewell tour that ended and I needed to go on. but she changed her mind. she stayed with me and i would again take her to the airport. again... all of this is a rerun.
we went to bed at one. we didnt touch. her breathing was even and mine unsteady. i stared out at the sky from my window and I waited and waited for sleep to come. then she says. "i can't not spoon when there is someone to spoon with" so was touch.
my hand is in hers. we dont stop moving. i will remember ever part of her. i kept it all in my memory. i wish that i could make everyone in the world understand the beating heart moments. the intensity of just her thumb sliding across my fingers. i can't be close enough to her. i can't get close enough. i just want to sink all the way in to her and disappear. i wake up this morning with her head on my chest and my fingers in her hair and my lips still close to her forehead where i kissed her over and over again trying to tell her with out words that i absolutely love you.
the best part of the whole thing. every time that this happens. is that we never speak. we dont make a sound. its all body.
i took her to the airport this morning. i watched her walk away again. i never know when i will see her again. i never know if its the last time. i know she wont forget. I know i will never forget. but i dont know if I will ever feel that way again. that one certain way when sleep isn't in the equation and words are unnecessary.
im a beauty school student in boise idaho. i have little offer the world. my voice is small and my ripples are not a tide, they dont change the world around me. just a few lives intertwined with mine. the girl that she has been with is making the world a better place for those suffering, every day. she travels the world building foundations for new tomorrows. i can't compete. i am not a co director or editor or anything. all i know is my life and how i want the world to be and all i know is that sometimes a new hairstyle can save a day for going badly. i do what i can. but i wouldnt choose me. not when you could be the girl behind the girl saving the world.