two
i got back from family vacation yesterday. i had never had one of those before really. it was weird. i met some cousins and aunts and uncles who hadn't seen me in about 15 years. basically i felt out of place and that was about it. i went to oklahoma city, guymon and denver. it was good to be out of boise for a little while. but i am extremely relieved to be home.
beth and i have continued our fighting. its turned out really shitty. i just cry and cry and cry over the way things are now and my inability to fix it. and she yells and gets angry and expects me to let it go. we are meeting on tuesday morning to talk about money stuff. well we arent talking about it. she is going to tell me what to do, and i will have to do it. or we have to go to court. but if she demands too much we have to go to court any way so i can manage to pay. i really hardly have the energy to write down whats been going on. but she has fucked with my whole life. i feel like i'm completely destroyed now. i dont know how to pick up the pieces or what i will do with myself next. i just think it is time to be done.
so i guess i will just deal with things on tuesday and try really hard to just be done. move the fuck on. im fighting sleep now.
ive been thinking about mike a lot lately. i think i will aspire to someday be his wife. hm.
beth and i have continued our fighting. its turned out really shitty. i just cry and cry and cry over the way things are now and my inability to fix it. and she yells and gets angry and expects me to let it go. we are meeting on tuesday morning to talk about money stuff. well we arent talking about it. she is going to tell me what to do, and i will have to do it. or we have to go to court. but if she demands too much we have to go to court any way so i can manage to pay. i really hardly have the energy to write down whats been going on. but she has fucked with my whole life. i feel like i'm completely destroyed now. i dont know how to pick up the pieces or what i will do with myself next. i just think it is time to be done.
so i guess i will just deal with things on tuesday and try really hard to just be done. move the fuck on. im fighting sleep now.
ive been thinking about mike a lot lately. i think i will aspire to someday be his wife. hm.