(no subject)
it's not easy this evolving/expanding/growing up thing, especially this trusting and relying upon a higher power thing. i got fired a few days ago because i hired all my friends and tried changing my relationship with them with in the work place. it led to some drama mainly because i have no idea how to communicate and for a long time i had no concept how to be in a relationship so changing dysfunctional relationships without acting out in my workplace, Christ, led to come ridiculousness.I also DID act out of fear ALOT and hurt myself and primarily James most. my bosses offered to send em to a meditation retreat for 6 months and then i could have my job back. i've declined that offer. applied for unemployment-looking for a job. Now, what a lovely way to rely on the universe.
What new thing am i liking in life:
Well,before i was fired:
i was working 50 hrs a week for posana
20 hrs or so for my queer advocacy group
sponsoring two women
going to three meetings a week
going to therapy
making amends
trying to have friends
and taking care of a dog and two cats
and occasionally went on some dates
NOW:
I LIKE FREE TIME.
i like new friends.
i like hanging out with my animals.
i like staying up late.
i like being available for AA and all the other places in my life that i wasn't before.
I like a girl.
Soooo, its not too bad. something will come along and i will do something in this world.
Im not even really mad at anybody or grieving too badly. i just feel lucky for so much support and love and even the opportunity to see some truth about myself and get humbled.
love,
sam
What new thing am i liking in life:
Well,before i was fired:
i was working 50 hrs a week for posana
20 hrs or so for my queer advocacy group
sponsoring two women
going to three meetings a week
going to therapy
making amends
trying to have friends
and taking care of a dog and two cats
and occasionally went on some dates
NOW:
I LIKE FREE TIME.
i like new friends.
i like hanging out with my animals.
i like staying up late.
i like being available for AA and all the other places in my life that i wasn't before.
I like a girl.
Soooo, its not too bad. something will come along and i will do something in this world.
Im not even really mad at anybody or grieving too badly. i just feel lucky for so much support and love and even the opportunity to see some truth about myself and get humbled.
love,
sam