Someone shut off my brain...

[withmyowneyes]

I'm paranoid. I shouldn't be...but...I don't know. Stupid insecurities. I shouldn't be scared of the things I am scared of, but I am nonetheless. Sorry for being cryptic, but I just don't feel like venting completely tonight. I just need to hang on. Things will work themselves out the way I want them to...or at least I hope so. I think some talking is in order, but I like the way things are, and even though I don't think this is a huge thing, I just don't want to muddy the waters at all. I know it's irrational, i know it's paranoia...and I've got to straighten it out in my own head. I can't keep jumping at every phone call, being nervous when instant messages seem to be of utmost importance. It's stupid. I need to work on my trust issues. Le sigh.

I am happy...don't get me wrong. I'm happier than I've been in a very long time. I'm just...scared. I don't want to lose him...and that in and of itself is a completely irrational fear. Gah.