dream- getting you killed
I dreamed that you died, and that it was my fault. You weren't you, though, you were young, and black, and strong, which you are now, but rich-boy strong, "I run and bike when I'm horny and/or trying to impress someone including myself" strong. In my dream you must have been a boy who played basketball like it was what he loved, and you were so dark and tan, like you were always out in the sun playing. You were so beautiful to me, somehow in a different way than you are beautiful to me, now. Ah, but I digress.
Somehow I said too much. I was walking with a crowd of your "people", your friends, your co-workers, and your boss. It was a familiar scenario. Even though in my dream it was me in the midst of 7 young black men, walking down the end of Albany, right before it turns into Main, it was familiar, because I'm always talking about you.
I said too much, though. Your boss and I were walking in front of the group, and you were in the very back. And as I said something to your boss, some snippet about something you'd done the other day, I looked back at you like I always do, admiring you like you are mine, but heard me speak. You looked from your friend's eyes into mine with quick fear, and your boss turned to you with a pistol, told me I'd said too much, and shot you.
I never dream about bad things happening to other people, my dreams are always completely self-centered. I guess this one was, too, the end of the dream was all about my realization that I had killed you. But usually I'd be running from something, or hiding. I'm always getting killed in my dreams. Why the role reversal?
I don't know why I dreamed this, I don't want to see you dead, hell, I don't want to see you, at all!
I'll have to eventually, though. I need to find out if I can still look you in the eyes.
Somehow I said too much. I was walking with a crowd of your "people", your friends, your co-workers, and your boss. It was a familiar scenario. Even though in my dream it was me in the midst of 7 young black men, walking down the end of Albany, right before it turns into Main, it was familiar, because I'm always talking about you.
I said too much, though. Your boss and I were walking in front of the group, and you were in the very back. And as I said something to your boss, some snippet about something you'd done the other day, I looked back at you like I always do, admiring you like you are mine, but heard me speak. You looked from your friend's eyes into mine with quick fear, and your boss turned to you with a pistol, told me I'd said too much, and shot you.
I never dream about bad things happening to other people, my dreams are always completely self-centered. I guess this one was, too, the end of the dream was all about my realization that I had killed you. But usually I'd be running from something, or hiding. I'm always getting killed in my dreams. Why the role reversal?
I don't know why I dreamed this, I don't want to see you dead, hell, I don't want to see you, at all!
I'll have to eventually, though. I need to find out if I can still look you in the eyes.