(no subject)
I've been in a pretty big funk as of lately. I'm pretty sure there are many reasons why. I can think of three right off the bat.
Lots of changes happening in my life. I finally graduated Cosmetology school about a week ago. It took about a year and 8 months, but I'm glad to say I'm finally finished. One of the longest things I've had to endure. Hopefully it will all be worth it soon. I take my State Board exam on Friday for my license. I've never been so nervous to take a test before.
I turned 27 two days ago. 27 and single. Wondering if I'm ever going to meet "Mr. right." Or just anyone who truly makes me happy. I've dated around.. and have yet to meet anyone with substance. All of them have had some good qualities, but none that I felt instant sparks with. It's a constant losing battle. Maybe the men in southern california aren't for me. In November I will have been single for 2 years.. 2 freaking years. It sure gets awful lonely at times.
After 2 months, my ex best friend decided to call me and apologize for what happened on her birthday. We met up for coffee and talked about what happened. Said our apologies, and I invited her out for my birthday friday night. ..I should have known better. Everyone who is important to me was there, including her. After about an hour, she started chatting up this random dude and I didn't see her the rest of the night. Glad I wasted my breath inviting her out. What a waste... and we're back to square one.
I've been thinking a lot about who my "real" friends are. What does that even mean? "Real friends." I don't even know anymore.. it seems everyone has a different idea of it. My definition: Someone you can count on. Who isn't all talk, and no show. Someone who wants to be there for all your important moments. Someone who understands you. Someone who values you as much as you value them. Someone who is honest with you, good or bad. Someone who becomes more like family, than a friend. I do my best to instill all of these qualities in the relationships that I make with people. Few are reciprocated, and a lot aren't. Some are only reciprocated in the beginning, and then are plaqued by other distractions (relationships, jobs, other friends, life..). Granted, I've had my fair share of friendships that I've mentally distanced myself from. But I always try to make sure they still know I think of them, and miss their company. I guess I'm just starting to realize how shallow and fairweather some of these so called "real friends" are. I'm not willing to put up with it anymore. The flakiness, unresponsiveness and effortless. What's the point? I'll save both of us the wasted time and breath. If I'm not worth your time, then you don't deserve mine.
Lots of changes happening in my life. I finally graduated Cosmetology school about a week ago. It took about a year and 8 months, but I'm glad to say I'm finally finished. One of the longest things I've had to endure. Hopefully it will all be worth it soon. I take my State Board exam on Friday for my license. I've never been so nervous to take a test before.
I turned 27 two days ago. 27 and single. Wondering if I'm ever going to meet "Mr. right." Or just anyone who truly makes me happy. I've dated around.. and have yet to meet anyone with substance. All of them have had some good qualities, but none that I felt instant sparks with. It's a constant losing battle. Maybe the men in southern california aren't for me. In November I will have been single for 2 years.. 2 freaking years. It sure gets awful lonely at times.
After 2 months, my ex best friend decided to call me and apologize for what happened on her birthday. We met up for coffee and talked about what happened. Said our apologies, and I invited her out for my birthday friday night. ..I should have known better. Everyone who is important to me was there, including her. After about an hour, she started chatting up this random dude and I didn't see her the rest of the night. Glad I wasted my breath inviting her out. What a waste... and we're back to square one.
I've been thinking a lot about who my "real" friends are. What does that even mean? "Real friends." I don't even know anymore.. it seems everyone has a different idea of it. My definition: Someone you can count on. Who isn't all talk, and no show. Someone who wants to be there for all your important moments. Someone who understands you. Someone who values you as much as you value them. Someone who is honest with you, good or bad. Someone who becomes more like family, than a friend. I do my best to instill all of these qualities in the relationships that I make with people. Few are reciprocated, and a lot aren't. Some are only reciprocated in the beginning, and then are plaqued by other distractions (relationships, jobs, other friends, life..). Granted, I've had my fair share of friendships that I've mentally distanced myself from. But I always try to make sure they still know I think of them, and miss their company. I guess I'm just starting to realize how shallow and fairweather some of these so called "real friends" are. I'm not willing to put up with it anymore. The flakiness, unresponsiveness and effortless. What's the point? I'll save both of us the wasted time and breath. If I'm not worth your time, then you don't deserve mine.