Ailaya's Color Challenge

[coma_aditi]

Comments

[alienchalkdust]

I like this a lot. especially how you ended it :)

[coma_aditi]

Much thanks. :)

[lostincandyrain]

I like that the language used is very straightforward and sharp. It makes that last part pretty painful, except for the "swallowing" for me introduced some red- because to swallow there has to be a throat, and suddenly there was this agent there, "gasping for air" and it wasn't really just empty space anymore...

It's a great piece. Describing the absence is hard.

[coma_aditi]

Thank you. :)
Yes, the idea is to convey to the reader that either the writer or the reader themselves is suffocating in it, actually.

[autumnsea]

I found this part curious and interesting:

But I call it an explosion of pure light

No shadows

As far as the eye can see
Colour stripped and washed away
Taken, raped, broken
Leaving behind clammy cold paleness

Because generally with any explosion there is energy and heat radiated outwards and so it was rather interesting that you went to explain it as a "clammy, cold paleness".

Nice job on your first submission into the community. :)

[ailaya_believes]

I really like how you did this one, you aproched it well. The idea of suffocating came across to me rather strongly. Wonderful job!
AJ