It's cold in the desert - for look_atthis

[withhumaneyes]

The chill in his bones did not leave him even when he was safely back in the warmth of their quarters. His hand touched the thermostat, but he knew, in reality, that it would not help at all. His hand fell away

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[withhumaneyes]

"Come in," Spock responded without thinking about it, not realizing how he looked. His eyes barely flickered away from the computer screen, trying to force all of his grief and helplessness into research.

When he realized it was Jim, however, he had to pause, watching him. "Captain."

[withhumaneyes]

Spock shut off the monitor, and with it all expression he could manage.

"I thought Leonard was going to be with you," he said quietly. "Has something gone wrong?" Leonard needed this, to be with the Jims; he had hoped that at least, he would find some peace in that, but it seemed that was not going to be happening.

[withhumaneyes]

"He is there with my blessing, if that is what you worry about." But a part of him warmed, touched that Jim had worried about him, about doing them both right enough to come check.

[withhumaneyes]

"No." That, at least, he could be grateful of; there was a way for this to be worse.

"I- could not join you tonight." He did not want to lie to Jim, but it was not his news to tell. Leonard needed to do that himself.

He looked back at the blank screen, the hopelessness threatening to return in a wave.

[withhumaneyes]

Spock could not keep himself from slumping in his chair. "I cannot tell you. Leonard needs to do that himself."

He did not want to think about it at all, even though the situation called for it. He looked away from Jim, feeling his fragile control begin to slip again. The last thing he needed was to cry in front of his Captain.

[withhumaneyes]

"I cannot help him," Spock all but whispered, and then, more firmly, "And he cannot help me. And that will ruin us." He stood up, all at once, but did not seem interested in going anywhere, just looking at Jim pleadingly.

"Please. Jim. He- needs comfort. I cannot give it to him."

[withhumaneyes]

"Yes." He stepped forward, grasping Jim's hand, trying to get him to understand. They did not have a bond, not like he and Leonard, but his telepathy was strong enough, he was certain, to get his conviction across.

He could not completely hide his grief, however, his control too frayed.

[withhumaneyes]

Spock paused, thinking about that. He had not considered the possibility, but Leonard was with the other Jim, he would be taken care of- he slowly laced their fingers together.

"Please," he answered, not sure what he was asking for, but willing to take anything he could all the same.