A tale about how my home-life is fucked up right now.
A tale about how my home-life is fucked up right now.
We went out to some clubs last night - having not been for almost three weeks and wanting to make the most of finally being able to go. So my partner and I and a couple of his friends that were staying with us met up with a group of our friends and everything was fine...
We were at one of my favourite clubs later on in the night/morning and my partner was out the back smoking with his friends - I thought this was unusual because he doesn’t smoke but I didn’t say anything. Some of our friends were on the dance floor and I was going to join them so I asked him if he wanted to dance and he said - I don’t feel like dancing - again unusual - he’s usually pulling me out there as soon as we get in the door. I’d like to say I was cool about it but I was a little pissed off - so I told him to join me if he changed his mind - so I made my way out there and started off just dancing with some girlfriends -
And this is where it gets interesting - this guy - probably in his mid-20’s looked strikingly like Alberto Gilardino - maybe a little more facial hair around his chin but otherwise I swear they were identical. You know when you catch someone’s eye and you have this flirting connection I like to call the ‘eye-fuck’? - that happened and we ended up dancing together - on one of the little raised platform areas no less. We didn’t get that close - we weren’t pressed all over each other - it was mostly just innocent dancing. Almost the whole time I was thinking of how I could explain that I was dancing with Alberto Gilardino’s twin to LJ friends. He pulled me away to the side of the little platform and asked if I wanted to get some air - i.e. pointed to outside with cute smirk and questioning look. I couldn’t answer him over the music so I pulled him closer and spoke into his ear - told him I had a boyfriend - that was the closest we got.
Said boyfriend was watching - standing against one of the bars with his arms folded. He barely said a word when we left and even though I tried to talk to him he just looked at me. There’s a small age difference and usually it doesn’t make the slightest of difference but when he gets angry he just has this superior way of making me feel like a little girl - I was so fucked off with him for that - I just gave up and went to walk with one of his friends who told me quietly not to worry about it.
He did hold the cab door open for me though and I felt a little relieved until he said, ‘I’m assuming you’re going home with me’
I tried to bring it up when we got home but he just shut it down - told me I do whatever I want to do anyway.
We slept at polar ends of the bed last night and he hasn’t said anything to me this -morning. The mood in this house is completely not fun at all - I’m envious of our flatmate who’s at work.
I hate fighting with him but I still can’t get over seeing this as unreasonable - he was acting out of character, he didn’t want to dance - what did he expect me to do? Go out to a nightclub and just stand around with him and his friends smoking? This dance with Gilardino-look-alike was innocent - it’s not unusual for one or both of us to dance with other people at night-clubs - we even joke about it - I mean he’s often mauled by a group of girls when he’s out there by himself and I don’t get pissed off with him because I trust him and I want him to have fun and because I know he’s going home with me. I can’t understand what his problem is with me doing the same.
Despite this I feel guilty. And still, annoyed about how he’s handling this and more so that I don’t know what to do now. I just want to give him the cold shoulder until he stops acting like a jerk, maybe I should apologize but I can’t bring myself to mean it.
The worst thing is we’re supposed to be going out tonight as well and I feel like if we don’t sort things out before then - the situation is just going to exacerbate itself.