Once a jolly swagman, camped by a billabong [This is a voice post, by the way]

[withgoldensoil]

Roger, Roger, come in, Roger.

Kiwi, you little fucker, if this was your doing I'm kick your bloody head in, just you wait. Whose island is this anyway- Oh, bugger, if it was one of the blokes from the forum helping ya, you just tell them that if they want another buck from me they'll bring the boat back round right this fucking second, you piece of

Comments

[voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

Eh--Australia? [and now he sounds excited, YAY some cool people!] Hey, dude, when'd you get here? Kiwi's not here and you missed Japan a couple of months ago!

[voice]

[withgoldensoil]

Seppo! There ya are, mate! Just got here, 'eard you and pommie are about but I guess New Zealand didn't have anything to do with it after all... Ah, well. Howzitgoin', mate?

[voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

Yeah, but England's a stupid imperialist so watch your back, yeah?

Other than the crazy chick hurting people like some alien attack in Star Trek, it's been copacetic on my end!

[voice]

[withgoldensoil]

Imperialist? Bloody hell, we just broke him outta that-

... Crazy, alien chick?

[voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

Yeah, I know, right? He probably still thinks you're his or something, the guy's wacked, if you ask me.

She's from Japan. [said as if that explains everything]

[voice]

[withgoldensoil]

I've been independent for over a hundred years now, mate, I'm pretty sure it's sunk in by now. [Thinks you mean he's just gone on a new imperialist craze and is off colonising other poor, young island nations.]

[And oddly enough, it does. Or it does as far as Australia is concerned.] Oh, okay. She's not whaling, is she?

[voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

It hasn't been for him, he's from...jeez, 1850-something, I think. Something old and funky like that.

Nope, not at all! Don't think I've seen any whales around, actually.

[voice]

[withgoldensoil]

... Mate, what the hell are you talking about?

[voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

[wait a second...processing...ding ding ding!] Oh! Right! You just got here!

Alright, alright. Here's the low-down, buddy: I don't know how many of us there are right now, but we're all pretty much from different years. I know, it's fuckin' crazy, but you just gotta bear with it. Like, I'm from 1975, Liet's from 1930-something, Nam's from 1995, and England...yeah, he's just an imperialist ass.

Dig it?

[voice]

[withgoldensoil]

... You're fucking kidding me, aren't you?

[voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

Nope! Wish I was, though, then I wouldn't need to owe Salkia a good ol' punch in the face! If anything, blame the commies, I'm pretty sure they're in cahoots.

So what year are you from, man?

[voice]

[withgoldensoil]

The commies... Jesus Christ, you're serious, aren't you? It's 2010, mate.

[voice] 1/2

[omnomfuckyeah]

Yeah, I'm serious! They're going to take over the world if I don't keep 'em contained!

[voice] 2/2

[omnomfuckyeah]

2010?! Seriously?! That's farther than Nam is, holy fuckin'--

You're not trying to fake me out, are ya? I mean, that's a new millennium!

[Voice]

[withgoldensoil]

Vettie's from the 90s, huh? Gonna have to have a word with here, I guess, but that's not so bad.

Not at all, mate! [...] Millennium's been great so far! I mean, there was a rough patch when all the computers rose up to destroy human life, and then there was the thing with the aliens and then I think you owe China your entire treasury or something like that and there was the huge koala population explosion, a lot of them had to migrate over seas, sorry about Florida, mate, but that's about it! [NOW he's trying to fake you out.]

[Voice]

[omnomfuckyeah]

Vettie? Er, yeah. She told me a lot of stuff already...

[...oh, you are a mean little koala, Aus] Wait what?! Koalas--aliens--China?!--oh fuckin'--Florida?! What the hell happened to Florida?! I need Florida!! And my treasury!! How do computers kill everyone?!