can't put the subject I want here so it shall be the first line

Jun 12, 2006 16:57

I could hate him, but hate leads to suffering, suffering leads to anger, and anger leads to the Dark Side
Adam was just here. I talked to mom earlier and asked her to call him and tell him not come by. Basically mom and I got into a fight this morning but that isn't important right now, the point I'm making is; she called him to not come by.
He came by telling me that she told him to come by. I called her and she said that he wasn't supposed to be there. I hung up and went 'how does it feel like to be lied to? I learned from the best; you." I knew he was lying, manipulative bastard.
He's trying to talk my mom into kicking me out of the house. He told me he's on my side and I hear him yelling at mom for not kicking me out for a day or two to 'teach her a lesson'. He's on my side though. how nice! /sarcasm
He started harping about my sleeping pattern and I told him a slight lie, that I've been getting into bed at 12:30. I've been going to bed when I get tired and if it's really late and I'm awake I take a sleeping pill to knock me out and that doesn't always work! He said 'you have to force yourself to sleep'. You cannot force it, you can lie in bed and try to relax to lull yourself to sleep but you can't go 'brain! Sleep! Now!'. It just doesn't happen! So then he started blaming my relationship with my best friend. I am super close to this person and I tell her things I don't tell my therapist! In a way, she's like a sister to me, I certainly love her like a sister! But because I talk to her at night I can't sleep. It's the best time for us to talk, we are both more open I suppose but we have good discussions at night. He said 'if you can't get to sleep by midnight. I'm going to talk to mom so she won't let you talk to your (friend) anymore". Thanks Adam, you're nice. Really you are. He wants me to get into bed at TEN, ten! He wants me to start getting ready by nine. I told him again that you can't force yourself to sleep but he doesn't listen.
He's going to talk to mom tonight and try to get her to kick me out for the night. He said 'I don't care where you go, you can stay at my place but mom WILL kick you out.'. If he actually talks her into it, I'll go to the rat room. It's super messy right now from being out of use for a year but I can make myself a little spot to sleep on. If not that, I'll sleep on the hammok outside. The weather is nice, I'll just take a pillow and blanket. Hopefully it won't happen though.
I'm not enraged really, I'm just emotionally drained. That's why this isn't a full blown rant.
I do have a sore stomach from trying to push him out of my room though. He latched onto the door and wall and didn't budge so I used my body to push. Just ended up hurting my stomach. Oh well.

rants, family, mom, brother

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