02; entangled (in your love)
title; entangled (in your love)
fandom/pairing; exo | luhan/sehun
rating; pg
warnings; mild mention of cutting
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in which luhan plays with sehun's hair the night before he leaves exo
the dorm is eerily silent, and only the soft pitter-patter of footsteps can be heard. luhan creeps along the hallway of the dorm as quietly as he can, opening and entering the door from the left of his room. nighttime is luhan's favourite period of the day, it being peaceful, and a time where he can think solemnly.
in fact, luhan's decision to leave exo was made during the night.
however, luhan tries not to think about it, and as he slips into his boyfriend's bed, he breathes a soft "sehun-ah." he knows the latter isn't sleeping yet, if the muffled sobs are any indication of it. luhan cards his fingers through sehun's brown, silky locks, as he mummers apologies over and over again.
sehun reads hunhan fanfiction so often, it's almost become a daily habit. but he isn't always the bratty maknae who wants to get into luhan's pants like in the stories, in fact, he's the most sensitive one of the 11. so when luhan announces that he's leaving exo just this morning, with no warning from the past few weeks, he's hurt.
for god's sake, sehun is luhan's boyfriend after all, so sehun had thought that luhan would tell him beforehand, not bring it up in the middle of breakfast with the other members.
also, sehun needs luhan. luhan is like his world - no, in fact, luhan is his world, and he won't be able to live without him. how is he going to survive his intensive dance practice, with no one to give him a short peck on the lips when nobody's watching, with no one to give him encouragement and make his day? how is he going to survive the concert, with no one to pat him on the butt with a heart-shaped pillow, with no one to laugh with and make jokes with?
how is he going to survive life, without his luhan, his sunshine, his love, his everything?
so, sehun finally turns around in his bed to face luhan. he embraces the older man tightly, savoring any last moments they have. "hyung, will i ever be able to hold you like this again?" luhan stays silent. he has pulled through his hardest moments, and he hasn't cried in a long time. but now, the tears are dancing behind his eyes and threatening to spill.
"i don't know, sehun-ah," luhan mumbles, wrapping his arms around sehun. he inhales sehun's lemony scent, wanting to cry with rage at how unfair the world is; taking a deep breath before delivering his thoughts to sehun. "sehun-ah, you won't be happy with me, and i can't guarantee you that i won't find someone else... it's hard to keep a long distance relationship too-"
"are you saying we should break up?"
"yes."
the answer comes in a soft whisper, a whisper so soft sehun has to strain to hear it - but sehun hasn't heard anything louder. sehun's lip quivers. "it's for your own good, sehun-ah," luhan whispers. "i still love you, goddammit, i love you so much. but i really just want you to be happy and-" "I get it, hyung. but can we at least still be lovers until you leave?" luhan nods tenderly and accedes to his request and snuggles in on sehun's chest. "we should sleep, there's a long day tomorrow, yeah?" luhan suggests. he strokes sehun's hair and wipes his tears away. "promise me you'll be here in the morning hyung."
"i promise, sehun."
but luhan doesn't sleep until much later, and before he does, he says in an achingly gentle murmur, "i love you."
+++
luhan and sehun still keep in contact, in fact, they facetime each other regularly. luhan is living his life happily, as he's finally free from the clutches of sm. but on the other hand, sehun pretends to smile and laugh with luhan. what luhan doesn't know is that sehun's wrist has velvetly maroon scars on it, rough lines which remind sehun that life is hard without luhan.
but luhan doesn't know, he doesn't know anything at all. yes, he still watches exo on inkigayo or mbc, and cheers quietly for them when they win an award. luhan loves exo's new album, and learns it by heart. everywhere, fans still crowd around him, shouting that they want ot12 back. he thinks sehun is doing fine; he thinks that sehun's moved on, but how wrong can he be? sehun's scars are covered by concealer and makeup - leaving no trace for luhan to find.
luhan misses exo a lot, especially sehun, but he can't go back, hence he moves on.
so when luhan facetimes sehun a few months later, sehun is unsurprised when luhan says "i've found someone, sehun-ah! his name is jia le and he's really nice, you should meet him one day." luhan grins happily at him, slightly masking the hurt.
so sehun breathes, closes his eyes, and lets luhan go.
(but what sehun doesn't know is that jia le resembles him. a lot.)
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- i feel so depressed after writing this
- this is so fucking bittersweet like
- this was horrible otl im sorry
- its so short
- should i write a sequel??