(Untitled)

Sep 10, 2005 05:14

i'm not fucking okay, and i haven't been ( Read more... )

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potatoeness September 10 2005, 21:46:08 UTC
There are these preppy ass bitchs in my class who think slef cutters do it for attention. here's the convo ( ... )

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witheredtears September 10 2005, 21:51:55 UTC
O_o
I hate labels, too.

Cutting yourself has nothing to do with being 'emo' or 'scene' or whatever the fuck else. In no way is cutting related to a label.
Cutting comes from a mental illness, usually being depression or bipolar in some cases.

o_o and it's not something you can really control. It just happens, it's an embalance in your brain that has to do with not handling too much emotion, too much sadness, or hate- and that's the only way out, the knife.

a dark room with no lights until the blood drips, basically.

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witheredtears September 10 2005, 21:53:57 UTC
and yeah, if you drip paint on your sweatshirt you can take it very seriously.
it's weird, but little things will screw up your life. i can't even take one argument, one disagreement, a bad grade, or a teacher that yells at me. Just one of those happening can make me cut myself.

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potatoeness September 10 2005, 21:57:12 UTC
Little things add up.
and they eventually push you over te edge which can happen a lot

some people have it worse than others and that can make the difference between knife, and no knife. and like you said there are people that can't help it. they have mental illnesses like depression, that just happen, and things that can make you happy one second then angry or sad the next

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witheredtears September 10 2005, 21:59:14 UTC
Yeah, exactly.
Everything effects me. There're tons of times where I feel like I'm drowning, and I can't get pulled back up. Then what do you know next? I cut myself.

It's a weird experience, and it gets worse.

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potatoeness September 10 2005, 22:04:15 UTC
one thing i can undestand REALLY well is, that you cut to make that problem bigger than the one you have right now.
I can't 100% understand that because I haev done that before, but not with cutting. I've done other things..

And when you feel overwhelmed, and you try to make the problem smaller than it really is, then it doesn't seem as bad.
Also when you cut its more of a relief for you..It's just that I'm afraid you'll go too deep one day from trying to make you're problem smaller

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witheredtears September 10 2005, 22:12:33 UTC
i probably will go too deep one day.
i always tried to make the problem smaller, but i couldn't handle it. cutting was my way out of a cage, it's real hard to explain unless you experience it.

and a lot of people perceive things differently.

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potatoeness September 10 2005, 22:20:13 UTC
I know what you talk about, its just I don't cut myself, I hit myself. I can't stand to see blood, bruises I can.

i don't do that too much anymore, I just go and release my anger by talking...but that's not even enough sometimes :P
you should know what I mean xP

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