Now, back to the joys of elderly weasel ownership!
Even though he's got all these problems now that he's older, I still think ferrets make fantastic pets. Insulinoma, adrenal disease, heart disease and if you're really unlucky (I've never been, thank god.) intestinal blockages aside, Vance has been a perfect pet. It makes me wonder why I had to go to so much trouble finding a place to live, being a ferret owner. The cat has worse manners than he does and her box stinks to high heaven. No apartment would even blink if I said I had a rabbit and they're notorious chewers of everything and they dig was well. Dogs stink, dig, chew, bark and attract fleas like it's cool. Yet, rabbits, dogs and cats are welcome in quite a few apartments around town.
I was forced to get a house to rent because I wasn't going to get rid of Vance. Vance who is quiet, doesn't chew, doesn't dig, doesn't reek like infected, dying ass (two words: cat box.).
He crawls up pant legs to lick ankles. On every transit of the house on hi patrol, he'll make a pit stop at our feet and drape himself over them for a few minutes. He'll even allow us to hold him quietly and scratch his neck and shoulders while he licks our arms. I've come to find out over the years that's ferret for 'I love you'.
He's never bitten anyone either... well, aside from Tom. Of course, Tom is the only person who roughhouses with him and Vance probably figures he can take it.
I've been so confident of Vance's good manners I've taken him to Petco and Petsmart numerous times. He wanders around on his leash and he gets to play in the cat furniture and meet lots of new people. On a few occasions I've heard, 'Ew, what is that?' But more often, Vance is admired, praised and gets pet a lot. If you're still wondering how well a ferret does on a leash, I have your answer: Better than most dogs. On our neighborhood walks when he was younger, Vance learned to trot alongside me as I walked and did so well, people used to think he was some strange dog--until they came in for a closer look. Vance might be a special case though, he's been leash trained since he was three months old and got lots of practice on nighttime walks.
Actually, I think that overall, despite my going on an on about Vance being a fantastic pet, it's mainly because I didn't do what most other ferret owners do. I didn't get more ferrets. I've read ferret magazines where they're all cutesy about it, 'They're like Lay's potato chips! You can't have just one!'
I get out of Vance what I put in. He's the only pet I've had for years, until Valentine came onto the scene. He's as pampered as a ferret can be and that's including Paris Hilton's ferret. But that's because my attention span is longer than five minutes. Pets are allowed to have the short attention span, not the owner.
Speaking of mentality and such, I think that's one of my favorite things about Vance. He's much too smart for his own good, but he's never spiteful. He gets into trouble for the sheer joy of making a mess, not because it might tick me off. He knows my nicknames for him, knows me and knows there's a difference between me and Tom. For example, Tom was making fun of me and Vance one day... personally I think Tom might be a tiny bit jealous that my nickname for him is 'Goon', while Vance's are fairly innocuous, like 'Fuzzbutt' and 'Sweetie'.
Vance was sitting on my computer chair, watching us alertly, his head up as he looked from Tom to me and back. Tom started cooing insipidly at him and addressed him as 'SCHWEEETIE!!!' I swear I saw his eyes widen and he looked at Tom dubiously, then to me as if he were saying, 'Can you believe this guy?'
I really hadn't thought Vance capable of facial expressions til then. And I'll admit to everything; I'm the one whose job it is to coo insipidly at my ferret, and he knows it.