(no subject)
i am sitting here with such an energy to me. A dragon sitting on my chest and shoulders, stretching his wings towards an invisible something. I cant really explain it really, other than that i feel like i need to be doing something, accomplishing something important. Like something is infront of me, and all i have to do is reach out for it, show some effort. the thing is, i dont have any idea what that is, but i know i will not be content untill i find what it is.
School is coming up faster than i would like it too. i am really looking forward to being back, but part of me is really worried. Mainly because of this whole music theory thing. i have to pass this test. period. i know that thinking too much about it will get me in more of a rut, but that will not stop me.
We are moving soon and i am so oblivious to the consequences to it all. I will have no home in St. Louis as of August 19th. That is scary because this is the first place that really felt like home, the people, the places, the toasted ravioli, i will miss it all terribly, but i just can not bring myself to feel emotion about it right now.
And then we come to Megan. Leaving her is going to be difficult. thats all i have to say about that really. We have talked about it, which makes it better, but i am still worried...what a surprise. with her it is different, and i am worried that it is something that i will not find at school or anywhere in my future. *crosses fingers for her to come to Ithaca*
Birthday came and went. it was nice, got to spend a lot of time to myself. (megan being grounded and all), which sucked at first, but in the end, it was a fufilling day overall.
Work is well...work. There are some really good days and some really bad days. I am just not really cut out for this whole stage managing business. At the beginning of this summer i really thought i could get a handle on it, but part of me just feels i am just going through the motions.
I think that is it. I am just going through the motions. wake the hell up jay.
This has been by far the fastest summer that i have ever encountered. I feel like i just came home about 3 weeks ago. and what do i have to show for it? Well, on paper not much, but as far as relationships are concerned, quite a bit, which compared to last summer is a huge improvement.
I feel like alice in the garden. Every time she tried to reach the edge of the garden, she would end up right where she started. No matter how hard she ran, or what path she took, she would always stop where she began.
story of my life i guess.
School is coming up faster than i would like it too. i am really looking forward to being back, but part of me is really worried. Mainly because of this whole music theory thing. i have to pass this test. period. i know that thinking too much about it will get me in more of a rut, but that will not stop me.
We are moving soon and i am so oblivious to the consequences to it all. I will have no home in St. Louis as of August 19th. That is scary because this is the first place that really felt like home, the people, the places, the toasted ravioli, i will miss it all terribly, but i just can not bring myself to feel emotion about it right now.
And then we come to Megan. Leaving her is going to be difficult. thats all i have to say about that really. We have talked about it, which makes it better, but i am still worried...what a surprise. with her it is different, and i am worried that it is something that i will not find at school or anywhere in my future. *crosses fingers for her to come to Ithaca*
Birthday came and went. it was nice, got to spend a lot of time to myself. (megan being grounded and all), which sucked at first, but in the end, it was a fufilling day overall.
Work is well...work. There are some really good days and some really bad days. I am just not really cut out for this whole stage managing business. At the beginning of this summer i really thought i could get a handle on it, but part of me just feels i am just going through the motions.
I think that is it. I am just going through the motions. wake the hell up jay.
This has been by far the fastest summer that i have ever encountered. I feel like i just came home about 3 weeks ago. and what do i have to show for it? Well, on paper not much, but as far as relationships are concerned, quite a bit, which compared to last summer is a huge improvement.
I feel like alice in the garden. Every time she tried to reach the edge of the garden, she would end up right where she started. No matter how hard she ran, or what path she took, she would always stop where she began.
story of my life i guess.