Vermont should be beautiful this time of year, all that snow
I am still in Vermont. Still in this house. Still with these people. I feel as if I've always been here. I'm starting to forget my real life.
This must be what Stockholm Syndrome is like.
It's 78 degrees in Columbus today.
There was no way Erin was letting me leave this week as originally planned. So Larry's not driving up, but Sebastian and I are flying to Columbus May 6.
Ten more days.
We get to keep him a week, then Ashley and I will drive him back here.
To Vermont. The state I can apparently never leave.
I passed exhaustion days, weeks ago. I just put one foot in front of the other, cooking meals, shopping, cleaning, bathing Seba, reading to him, putting him to bed, getting him up in the morning, taking him to daycare, feeding babies, changing unfathomable numbers of diapers, wrapping and unwrapping babies from their blankets, their swings, their sleepers, doing laundry...
Okay, it's not that bad. The exhaustion part, I mean. The rest of it...there's a lot to do. Which is why of course I'm not about to desert Erin. I'd have way more energy if Seba and I weren't passing the same respiratory infection back and forth like some kind of ping pong ball.
Before the babies came, I was able to go running on the college track that's across the street from the house. It was so lovely, in spite of the winter weather, but there's no time now. Ashley was jealous.
Erin is truly exhausted. Breastfeeding twins is an ambitious undertaking, especially for a perfectionist control freak whose nursing experience with her first child was a disaster. She's had much more success this time around, but nipple confusion is a real thing, and the boys are feeling less and less inclined to nurse, preferring bottles, leaving her to pump more often than she'd like.
It's been nice to be able to share my experiences with her. While they were somewhat different, one thing we have in common is concern about the babies' weight, and it's hard to just nurse and not supplement with formula when you're all OMG THEY MUST REGAIN THEIR BIRTH WEIGHT INSTANTLY. Isaac - better known as Chunky Monkey - has done that and more, you can tell that by his heft. Lucas - our Spindly Sparrow - clearly has not. Their two week check up is tomorrow, so we shall see.
But as I told her, she and Ashley lost a lot of weight at birth, and while they let me take them home at 7 weeks, when they both weighed less than 5 pounds, it was very hard to not shove formula in them at every opportunity. Ashley refused to nurse, Erin mixed nursing and bottles quite happily. I'm trying to make Erin understand that whatever choice she makes is the right one for her, and therefore for the boys. One problem is that she hears Nic's encouragement as pressure not to give up, and dismissal of her concerns, because she is, after all, her father's daughter, and I learned long ago to just agree with Lar that yes, the sky is indeed falling, lest I be accused of carelessly brushing his concerns off. I need to talk to Nic about that, but he'll just talk over me about how he's not doing that, and I just...
Anyway, she needs to trust Nic and I, and trust that even if we hold a bottle at the WROND ANGLE OMG it'll probably still be okay, and that she doesn't have to come along behind me to rewash bottles, and maybe if she does that, she can get some rest. Being this sleep deprived, she's becoming very mean. :)
Nic's at his office right now, Seba is at daycare, the babies are sleeping, and so is Erin. I told her no matter what she hears down here I don't want to see her until 4 o'clock. It's actually nice and quiet, and the constant HGTV/Food Network comfort viewing is blessedly turned off for now. I have a moment to myself that doesn't involve a trip to the grocery store!
Vermont is actually lovely, as is Middlebury. Here's the recycling collection team. Very Vermonty.
They live in half a house, faculty housing, and it's not bad. It's an old house and the finishes are more like student housing, with crappy carpet and hideous linoleum floors. The laundry in the basement is the worst, and is the reason I brought most of my clothes with me. Unfortunately, laundry can't be avoided with three adults, two babies, and a toddler.
It's horrifying.
Nic is trying his best. I still feel the urge to randomly scream "It's only coffee!" at him, but I haven't yet. Sebastian is adorable and very, very sweet with the babies. He's also two, so there is some yelling and throwing of toys, but mostly he's a charmer.
Here he's playing hockey wearing my shoes as "ice shoes," which he keeps telling me Santa Claus is going to bring him.
Here he is with Nic and Isaac.
Here he is eating his own foot.
Bird and Monkey
Lucas
Isaac
Ten more days. Nic will still be teaching while Seba and I are gone, but Erin and Nic are going to have to muddle through. Here's the thing. Lois just got home yesterday from spending two months in Albuquerque with her son, d-i-l, and grandson. Anne is pregnant, they're both very busy, and Lois has been pretty much doing what I am, minus the newborns. And it does make me wonder how we managed when we were in our children's positions. I had twins, I had a job, Larry was a resident and never home, or else he was sleeping. My mom lived in Singapore, and while she came home when the girls were born, she only stayed a week after they left the hospital. Then I had another kid, and life went on without live-in help. I don't begrudge one minute of being here, honestly, but what bothers me is that I'm worried about leaving them to their own devices. Erin is very strong, and has been the definition of grace under pressure, but I can tell she's hitting a wall here. She talked a lot before the boys were born about being angry that she was having twins, and she's still not all that thrilled.
I don't know. I just worry.
This must be what Stockholm Syndrome is like.
It's 78 degrees in Columbus today.
There was no way Erin was letting me leave this week as originally planned. So Larry's not driving up, but Sebastian and I are flying to Columbus May 6.
Ten more days.
We get to keep him a week, then Ashley and I will drive him back here.
To Vermont. The state I can apparently never leave.
I passed exhaustion days, weeks ago. I just put one foot in front of the other, cooking meals, shopping, cleaning, bathing Seba, reading to him, putting him to bed, getting him up in the morning, taking him to daycare, feeding babies, changing unfathomable numbers of diapers, wrapping and unwrapping babies from their blankets, their swings, their sleepers, doing laundry...
Okay, it's not that bad. The exhaustion part, I mean. The rest of it...there's a lot to do. Which is why of course I'm not about to desert Erin. I'd have way more energy if Seba and I weren't passing the same respiratory infection back and forth like some kind of ping pong ball.
Before the babies came, I was able to go running on the college track that's across the street from the house. It was so lovely, in spite of the winter weather, but there's no time now. Ashley was jealous.
Erin is truly exhausted. Breastfeeding twins is an ambitious undertaking, especially for a perfectionist control freak whose nursing experience with her first child was a disaster. She's had much more success this time around, but nipple confusion is a real thing, and the boys are feeling less and less inclined to nurse, preferring bottles, leaving her to pump more often than she'd like.
It's been nice to be able to share my experiences with her. While they were somewhat different, one thing we have in common is concern about the babies' weight, and it's hard to just nurse and not supplement with formula when you're all OMG THEY MUST REGAIN THEIR BIRTH WEIGHT INSTANTLY. Isaac - better known as Chunky Monkey - has done that and more, you can tell that by his heft. Lucas - our Spindly Sparrow - clearly has not. Their two week check up is tomorrow, so we shall see.
But as I told her, she and Ashley lost a lot of weight at birth, and while they let me take them home at 7 weeks, when they both weighed less than 5 pounds, it was very hard to not shove formula in them at every opportunity. Ashley refused to nurse, Erin mixed nursing and bottles quite happily. I'm trying to make Erin understand that whatever choice she makes is the right one for her, and therefore for the boys. One problem is that she hears Nic's encouragement as pressure not to give up, and dismissal of her concerns, because she is, after all, her father's daughter, and I learned long ago to just agree with Lar that yes, the sky is indeed falling, lest I be accused of carelessly brushing his concerns off. I need to talk to Nic about that, but he'll just talk over me about how he's not doing that, and I just...
Anyway, she needs to trust Nic and I, and trust that even if we hold a bottle at the WROND ANGLE OMG it'll probably still be okay, and that she doesn't have to come along behind me to rewash bottles, and maybe if she does that, she can get some rest. Being this sleep deprived, she's becoming very mean. :)
Nic's at his office right now, Seba is at daycare, the babies are sleeping, and so is Erin. I told her no matter what she hears down here I don't want to see her until 4 o'clock. It's actually nice and quiet, and the constant HGTV/Food Network comfort viewing is blessedly turned off for now. I have a moment to myself that doesn't involve a trip to the grocery store!
Vermont is actually lovely, as is Middlebury. Here's the recycling collection team. Very Vermonty.
They live in half a house, faculty housing, and it's not bad. It's an old house and the finishes are more like student housing, with crappy carpet and hideous linoleum floors. The laundry in the basement is the worst, and is the reason I brought most of my clothes with me. Unfortunately, laundry can't be avoided with three adults, two babies, and a toddler.
It's horrifying.
Nic is trying his best. I still feel the urge to randomly scream "It's only coffee!" at him, but I haven't yet. Sebastian is adorable and very, very sweet with the babies. He's also two, so there is some yelling and throwing of toys, but mostly he's a charmer.
Here he's playing hockey wearing my shoes as "ice shoes," which he keeps telling me Santa Claus is going to bring him.
Here he is with Nic and Isaac.
Here he is eating his own foot.
Bird and Monkey
Lucas
Isaac
Ten more days. Nic will still be teaching while Seba and I are gone, but Erin and Nic are going to have to muddle through. Here's the thing. Lois just got home yesterday from spending two months in Albuquerque with her son, d-i-l, and grandson. Anne is pregnant, they're both very busy, and Lois has been pretty much doing what I am, minus the newborns. And it does make me wonder how we managed when we were in our children's positions. I had twins, I had a job, Larry was a resident and never home, or else he was sleeping. My mom lived in Singapore, and while she came home when the girls were born, she only stayed a week after they left the hospital. Then I had another kid, and life went on without live-in help. I don't begrudge one minute of being here, honestly, but what bothers me is that I'm worried about leaving them to their own devices. Erin is very strong, and has been the definition of grace under pressure, but I can tell she's hitting a wall here. She talked a lot before the boys were born about being angry that she was having twins, and she's still not all that thrilled.
I don't know. I just worry.