(Untitled)

[with_diamonds]

She ought to have seen it coming, really

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[with_diamonds]

When Lucy opened her mouth to speak, head turning so she could better look at Ishiah once he was beside her, it was to say that nothing had happened, that it was just a bad mood and work up to it from there. She found, though, that she couldn't, not because she had a problem with slight dishonesty, but because it felt so wrong. Maybe nothing out of the ordinary had happened, but on the heels of so many other disappearances, it didn't seem that way to her at all. She didn't even have it in her yet to feel guilty for interrupting.

"It's just... a friend of mine," she said instead, as carefully as she could, frowning as she looked up at him. "Disappeared. Another one. And I know I should be used to it by now, but I just didn't feel like being on my own."

[with_diamonds]

"I don't -" Lucy began, only to cut herself off, shaking her head. She didn't know, really, what she wanted, except answers, a way to stop people from going and bring back those who had left, to not feel so fucking alone so much of the time. Jill had been miserable here and she knew it; whatever she had gone back to had to have been an improvement, but Lucy couldn't find it in her to be happy for Jill when she was, yet again, the one left behind. It simply wasn't fair, not now, after so many others.

Swallowing, she fell silent for a moment, unsure of how to answer, though it didn't last long. "I don't need to talk about her," she said finally, voice a little steadier. "I mean, there wouldn't even be that much to say, except..." Trailing off, then, she bit down hard on her lower lip, fighting to maintain the composure she'd just regained. "She was pregnant. Jill, she was going to have a baby, and with as close as she was to me... It just sucks, is all."

[with_diamonds]

"I thought I was having one, once," Lucy admitted, and why that was the answer that first came to mind, even she didn't know, but it hurt all the same. She hadn't ever wanted children, not of her own, anyway, but the thought of Ryan somehow staying, of the two of them someday having a family, wasn't unappealing in the least. Maybe age had something to do with it - she was closing in on a landmark now, one she would greet with no family and few friends - but she no longer felt as strongly as she once had on the subject. It didn't matter, though, when the situation to have one would never present itself; she'd had her one great love and lost him, and had no desire to look for another

[with_diamonds]

All thoughts of having a glass of whiskey to calm herself down temporarily forgotten, Lucy took a long sip of the juice he'd set in front of her, lips lingering on the cool edge of the cup for a moment even after she lowered her head again. It was nothing that she had so much as wanted to think about, what had almost been the case with her, leaving her now to wonder foolishly if Ryan still would have disappeared, if they would have had the family she'd never thought she wanted or if she would have been a single parent, the prospect of that admittedly frightening. None of it mattered, not now, but as it always was with this case, there were too many hypotheticals; she was grounded in facts and arguments, and here she had neither, leaving her frustratingly aimless with everything that happened. All she did know was that Jill and her baby were both gone, and she couldn't tell where to start dealing with that

[with_diamonds]

"Yeah," Lucy sighed. It didn't inspire much hope in her, but she'd always been one to concentrate on other people's needs, their problems, so selfless that she became selfish with it. That people sometimes vanished together, or in close proximity of each other, and children with parents, was the one small kindness they were granted where disappearances were concerned, and it was something to be grateful for; she, though, she was the one always left behind, who couldn't even be sent back with the one person whose life hers had revolved around for so long. Even with him gone, there was no one in the world who meant as much to her as Max had, and there never would be, either. For her to be kept here, separate from him most likely forever, seemed cruel, more so than this place usually bothered to be

[with_diamonds]

In that moment, it was the easiest thing in the world, leaning into his embrace, however unexpected it may have been. The more people that left, the more Lucy had grown unaccustomed to having comfort of this sort offered; still, it was perfectly natural when she slid her arms around him in turn, head resting against his shoulder and eyes closing against the sudden threat of tears. He acted nothing like her brother, and physically speaking, was several inches taller, but he reminded her of no one so much as Max as he held her there, a revelation both startling and welcome. Of the two, Lucy had always played at being the older sibling, more serious, more responsible, more focused on other people, but although she would never have admitted it to him - and that, now, was what was so difficult, knowing she would never have the chance - she'd needed him, too, realizing it more in his absence than any time else. She wasn't the kind of girl who would seek to replace someone and certainly had no intention of doing so now, but that familiarity

[with_diamonds]

On the heels of such a statement, it took a moment for Lucy to fully process his question, lips curving in a smile both curious and vaguely amused. It was too sudden, really, for anything else, when the weight of what had preceded it was still sinking in. From anyone else, she would have thought it simply pretty words meant to make her feel better and nothing more; Ishiah, though, she didn't think would lie to her, and that made it mean all the more. She didn't even know what she'd done to so endear herself to him, but it was entirely reciprocated in a way she hadn't thought she was capable of since Max had disappeared. Family wasn't supposed to be rebuilt, and yet here she was

[with_diamonds]

"It sounds like something I would enjoy," Lucy said, nodding her agreement, expression still thoughtful. From what she could see, at least where it applied to her, it struck a good balance; she'd grown vaguely reckless since Ryan had disappeared, and hang gliding was sure to provide the sort of exhilaration she craved, while at the same time, she felt more safe with Ishiah than probably anyone else on the island, and that, too, brought with it a certain appeal. He was bound to leave her someday, just like all the rest had, but for now, she would take all she could from this