(no subject)
So I'm making an effort to stay awake, checking up on things I haven't looked at in ages. And you know what? All I can say is, GOOD GIRL!!! If I knew you, I'd give you a hug. I'm proud of you.
Don't worry. That wasn't supposed to make sense to anyone but me. I'm just typing, as I said, in an effort to stay awake. Well, and cause no one I could tell what I mean is online. So. You know.
But yeah. LOTS of drama going on around me. I'm beset by it on all sides - with Brittney, and with my good friend Matt, and just... gosh, everywhere. Some of it I have to say is for the best... I won't name names, cause you never know who will find this... and some of it I feel genuinely sorry for. And some of it - just a case or two - I feel both, depending on the perspective taken and the person emphesized. But gosh dang, I know I've been "emo" lately, but I do realize I don't have much to really complain about. Well, not comparitively. I mean, I'm having the best life I've ever had. Things, compared to my pre-marriage life, are just about as perfect as they can be. I have it remarkably easy. No money worries AT ALL, safety, comfort, and just about no stress. Really, the things that bother me these days would have barely made me blink about five months ago. Even Danny being gone for two weeks isn't too bad, considering we spent something like three months talking only via letter when we first got back together.
Life, as I see it, is GOOD.
Gosh, I'm a lucky woman. Sometimes I lose sight of it, but dang, I really am.
At least, I am until he goes overseas and is in the line of danger. Then I'm royally screwed, especially if something happens.
But I have many blessings to count. Maybe it's time I stop worrying about the bad and concentrate on the good. Yeah, sure I'll still be lonely, but maybe it'll help make things easier. After all - I feel like I've died and become royalty these days, since I escaped the dungeon that is my parents' house and found my castle with Danny.
Oh, and another random, incomprehensible note to myself: It WASN'T just me! I'm not a bad person! I knew it!
And another: "Gosh dang, what WAS I thinking back then?" (That one's about an ex. But that's ok.)
lol. I spent all night last night talking to Matt and his wife, Melissa. We talked about things we both knew about, like this guy I dated once named Brandon, and what an idiot I was for doing so. And I explained WHY I did so, and why I ended it as soon as I had the nerve to do so. (The guy was a real idiot-jerk.) And we talked about things the other didn't relate to, but found interesting anyway. Like other guys I dated, and she dated, and the like. Gosh, it was fun. A real gab-session, I guess you could say, but it felt good to talk about all that drama freely without rebuke or judgement. And she and I agree a lot on a lot of things. Especially guys. It's sort of fun. We talked about our husbands (that was especially fun for me, since her husband is one of my best-ever friends) and about people we both knew at different times, and this one guy Tristan... my GOSH he was an idiot. lol. Apparently he's overseas now with the National Guard. (It really surprised me to hear that. TRISTAN of all people. *shakes head*)
And of course, Matt and I talked for a long time. Gosh, it's good to have him back.
heehee - he had such a hard time when i told him how I've changed. He refused to believe a lot of it. It was funny. Back when he knew me, I was known as "the innocent", and for good reason, I suppose. I really was back then. He tried his hardest to corrupt me a little, but it just wasn't possible, and soon he gave up. He ended up LIKINNG that I was that way. That's why he soon proclaimed himself as my big brother, and then proceeded to protect me from everything. I tried telling him a bit about my life, and he refused to hear it. He said in his mind, I'll always be little innocent Jenn. heehee. And you know what? I kind of like that. It makes him still very much my big brother, and it's nice to have such a figure.
Sigh. Matt's the greatest. I've really missed him.
Heeheee - "BUNNY!" "bunny bunny bunny bunny!"
Private joke. Don't worry - it's not supposed to make sense.
So anyway. I talked to Brittney a lot tonight, too, and I admit it's also nice talking to someone who understands how lonely it is to be an army wife at times. It's not as bad as she makes it out to be, but it DOES get lonely.
Sigh. So many memories, so little time to remember them all.
Anyway. I've succeeded in waking back up a little, and that urge to type is fading, so I'm gonna go now. ttyl
Don't worry. That wasn't supposed to make sense to anyone but me. I'm just typing, as I said, in an effort to stay awake. Well, and cause no one I could tell what I mean is online. So. You know.
But yeah. LOTS of drama going on around me. I'm beset by it on all sides - with Brittney, and with my good friend Matt, and just... gosh, everywhere. Some of it I have to say is for the best... I won't name names, cause you never know who will find this... and some of it I feel genuinely sorry for. And some of it - just a case or two - I feel both, depending on the perspective taken and the person emphesized. But gosh dang, I know I've been "emo" lately, but I do realize I don't have much to really complain about. Well, not comparitively. I mean, I'm having the best life I've ever had. Things, compared to my pre-marriage life, are just about as perfect as they can be. I have it remarkably easy. No money worries AT ALL, safety, comfort, and just about no stress. Really, the things that bother me these days would have barely made me blink about five months ago. Even Danny being gone for two weeks isn't too bad, considering we spent something like three months talking only via letter when we first got back together.
Life, as I see it, is GOOD.
Gosh, I'm a lucky woman. Sometimes I lose sight of it, but dang, I really am.
At least, I am until he goes overseas and is in the line of danger. Then I'm royally screwed, especially if something happens.
But I have many blessings to count. Maybe it's time I stop worrying about the bad and concentrate on the good. Yeah, sure I'll still be lonely, but maybe it'll help make things easier. After all - I feel like I've died and become royalty these days, since I escaped the dungeon that is my parents' house and found my castle with Danny.
Oh, and another random, incomprehensible note to myself: It WASN'T just me! I'm not a bad person! I knew it!
And another: "Gosh dang, what WAS I thinking back then?" (That one's about an ex. But that's ok.)
lol. I spent all night last night talking to Matt and his wife, Melissa. We talked about things we both knew about, like this guy I dated once named Brandon, and what an idiot I was for doing so. And I explained WHY I did so, and why I ended it as soon as I had the nerve to do so. (The guy was a real idiot-jerk.) And we talked about things the other didn't relate to, but found interesting anyway. Like other guys I dated, and she dated, and the like. Gosh, it was fun. A real gab-session, I guess you could say, but it felt good to talk about all that drama freely without rebuke or judgement. And she and I agree a lot on a lot of things. Especially guys. It's sort of fun. We talked about our husbands (that was especially fun for me, since her husband is one of my best-ever friends) and about people we both knew at different times, and this one guy Tristan... my GOSH he was an idiot. lol. Apparently he's overseas now with the National Guard. (It really surprised me to hear that. TRISTAN of all people. *shakes head*)
And of course, Matt and I talked for a long time. Gosh, it's good to have him back.
heehee - he had such a hard time when i told him how I've changed. He refused to believe a lot of it. It was funny. Back when he knew me, I was known as "the innocent", and for good reason, I suppose. I really was back then. He tried his hardest to corrupt me a little, but it just wasn't possible, and soon he gave up. He ended up LIKINNG that I was that way. That's why he soon proclaimed himself as my big brother, and then proceeded to protect me from everything. I tried telling him a bit about my life, and he refused to hear it. He said in his mind, I'll always be little innocent Jenn. heehee. And you know what? I kind of like that. It makes him still very much my big brother, and it's nice to have such a figure.
Sigh. Matt's the greatest. I've really missed him.
Heeheee - "BUNNY!" "bunny bunny bunny bunny!"
Private joke. Don't worry - it's not supposed to make sense.
So anyway. I talked to Brittney a lot tonight, too, and I admit it's also nice talking to someone who understands how lonely it is to be an army wife at times. It's not as bad as she makes it out to be, but it DOES get lonely.
Sigh. So many memories, so little time to remember them all.
Anyway. I've succeeded in waking back up a little, and that urge to type is fading, so I'm gonna go now. ttyl