It's so long past past due, a new name for everything

[witchnyn]

'Paul Brians, Professor of English at Washington State University, points out that perhaps a more logical or easier to understand version of this saying is: “You can’t eat your cake and have it too”. Professor Brians writes that a common source of confusion about this idiom stems from the verb to have which in this case indicates that once eaten, keeping possession of the cake is no longer possible, seeing that it is in your stomach (and no longer exists as a cake).[2] Alternatively, the two verbs can be understood to represent a sequence of actions, so one can indeed "have" one's cake and then "eat" it. Consequently, the literal meaning of the reversed idiom doesn't match the metaphorical meaning. The phrase can also have specialized meaning in academic contexts; Classicist Katharina Volk of Columbia University has used the phrase to describe the development of poetic imagery in Latin didactic poetry, naming the principle behind the imagery's adoption and application the "have-one's-cake-and-eat-it-too principle".[3]'

Man, I don't know why an academic deconstruction of a baked-good-related proverb amuses me so immensely, but I'll take what I can get. Oh, Wikipedia. Bless.

Also, expect to see me start adding "and no longer exists as cake" to the end of random sentences. Tell your friends - much like the Lemon Law, it's gonna be a thing.