It is always forever since .... Why is it tough?
It is tought to write on a screen because it is not pen and paper. I am sorry but there is a huge difference and I am not Doogie Howser. At least I think it is Doogie Howser who wrote on a computer...
Sometimes I still make the attempt to write because it is a nice place to keep memories when I have the time for it...
Puppy should be nine right about now... which is great. A little sad because we know the inevitable.
Quick photo of her with my camera phone.
When it is time for a new phone I need to find one with a better camera. Mine is very lame not doing well with quick movement. Every animal and baby shot is a blurry mess.
In January I have school. Finally I will be done, crossing fingers. I need to be done so that I can feel like I should do something meaningful. Although, I like my silly jobs a lot. It just makes it difficult when they want experience at a work place I apply at.
Then again so long as I find a place in the university everything should be alright.
I am just overly joyful and happy about the future possibilities.
It has been a year which I think is great. I feel liberated, like a weight has been removed. My chest does not hurt anymore which is a bonus. The blood pressure seems to have stabilized. I won't lie that I feel lonely and I know that life ticks away. I recognize wrinkles and aches. I am not near that but I understand it.
The thing is I want someone who isn't just nice or who has a surprise lurking behind every action. I want a real person who I can get to know and makes me happy.
I want to smile and I want a smile back without me saying "He is nice...." That is not a good thing to say about someone you are thinking of spending more than a weekend with! There have to be more qualities... a deeper emotion in there.
I won't have the fear of settling for less because in my head I think I should. Somehow I feel better than that. I know I am better than the people I have had relations with, although at the moment I thought I could never do better... Of course I could.
Now I know and it sort of makes me feel even though I am alone it is better than to settle with someone who will only waste my time.
Although those silly crushes and thought pass through my mind a lot! Especially with one or two... but one of them has no clue I am female, lol... So I day dream and that is all. Too bad because I love the way he smiles.
Sometimes I still make the attempt to write because it is a nice place to keep memories when I have the time for it...
Puppy should be nine right about now... which is great. A little sad because we know the inevitable.
Quick photo of her with my camera phone.
When it is time for a new phone I need to find one with a better camera. Mine is very lame not doing well with quick movement. Every animal and baby shot is a blurry mess.
In January I have school. Finally I will be done, crossing fingers. I need to be done so that I can feel like I should do something meaningful. Although, I like my silly jobs a lot. It just makes it difficult when they want experience at a work place I apply at.
Then again so long as I find a place in the university everything should be alright.
I am just overly joyful and happy about the future possibilities.
It has been a year which I think is great. I feel liberated, like a weight has been removed. My chest does not hurt anymore which is a bonus. The blood pressure seems to have stabilized. I won't lie that I feel lonely and I know that life ticks away. I recognize wrinkles and aches. I am not near that but I understand it.
The thing is I want someone who isn't just nice or who has a surprise lurking behind every action. I want a real person who I can get to know and makes me happy.
I want to smile and I want a smile back without me saying "He is nice...." That is not a good thing to say about someone you are thinking of spending more than a weekend with! There have to be more qualities... a deeper emotion in there.
I won't have the fear of settling for less because in my head I think I should. Somehow I feel better than that. I know I am better than the people I have had relations with, although at the moment I thought I could never do better... Of course I could.
Now I know and it sort of makes me feel even though I am alone it is better than to settle with someone who will only waste my time.
Although those silly crushes and thought pass through my mind a lot! Especially with one or two... but one of them has no clue I am female, lol... So I day dream and that is all. Too bad because I love the way he smiles.