Mind Dump
So I am laying here in bed, knowing I have to get up at 4 am, but all I can think about is the most recent argument and how I am way behind in school and how I will be having a meeting with supervisors at an unknown random time tomorrow when they will pull me into their offices to talk to me about the email I sent about my reason for turning down the offered day shift and I know I will be panicked and stressed out because people who hold the power to fire me always make me feel that way and then I start thinking about school again and how I have never been so far behind in my classes and how I have a project due soon but at least I was able to buy time and may be able to buy more being and my sister inlaw has ended up in the hospital and now has screens in her stomach to keep her insides from falling out and why the fuck does he have a problem with making waves with his parents but not me; I actually asked him that and he says I am more reasonable and I am actually pissed off about that response but I am honestly too tired to deal with it so I put it off like I have been putting everything off but at least I didn't put off starting a 2nd bank account yesterday and today I got the direct deposit set up so im good there at least but god this week has been hell and I found myself drinking a little both right before and right after work just so I could calm my nerves and play the part of the superawesomenumberone employee and it does look good cause my stack rankings are pretty high for someone so new but when I come home he makes me feel like shit and god I wish I could just go back to work and live there because I practically do anyway, I mean I must cause I can't remember my last day off especially since I started covering other people's shifts as well as having overtime and my fingers are getting tired from texting all this on a teeny phone keyboard so I guess I will stop and just let my mind race on its own while I wonder if I will ever get time to play skyrim again...