The bittersweet between my teeth, trying to find the in-between
So I spent ALL DAY yesterday applying for jobs. It's amazing to me how many companies now opt for online applications. Still, it doesnt make it any more fun. It just saves me printing paper, gas money, and chances of getting skin cancer. My updated resume looks all nice and spiffy. Despite how realistic job-hunting is, I am hopeful.
Still, I feel like I am being forced into this by Ecamer's family because they dont want to help unless I am working. School is not enough. Hell, deep down I know that working will not be enough.
My inlaws have decided that unless I am working, they are not going to pick up kindergoth from school. The fact that I am going to school.. again, is not enough. Due to this, I have to take the car everyday to drop Ecamer off to work, go home, pick Kindergoth up, bring her home where she just goes straight to their house anyway, and then she ends up staying the night because I have to leave again in the evening after her bed-time to pick him up. It would be easier, and better, if Ecamer could just take the car to work and they would pick her up from school. That way she could COME HOME after school and go to bed in her own bed. Novel concept, that. But no.. they must make things difficult and effectively steal my kid from me.
She is only here maybe one day every other week.
I talked to Ecamer about it this morning and all I got when I asked him if he saw what I was saying was "No. Don't start that crap with me."
So ok. Fine. Whatever.
I see where I stand now.
Same place I have stood for the past eight years. Only now, the lack of support has finally become obvious. I am pretty sure now that he stopped loving me years ago and just doesnt have the balls to say it to my face.
Still, I feel like I am being forced into this by Ecamer's family because they dont want to help unless I am working. School is not enough. Hell, deep down I know that working will not be enough.
My inlaws have decided that unless I am working, they are not going to pick up kindergoth from school. The fact that I am going to school.. again, is not enough. Due to this, I have to take the car everyday to drop Ecamer off to work, go home, pick Kindergoth up, bring her home where she just goes straight to their house anyway, and then she ends up staying the night because I have to leave again in the evening after her bed-time to pick him up. It would be easier, and better, if Ecamer could just take the car to work and they would pick her up from school. That way she could COME HOME after school and go to bed in her own bed. Novel concept, that. But no.. they must make things difficult and effectively steal my kid from me.
She is only here maybe one day every other week.
I talked to Ecamer about it this morning and all I got when I asked him if he saw what I was saying was "No. Don't start that crap with me."
So ok. Fine. Whatever.
I see where I stand now.
Same place I have stood for the past eight years. Only now, the lack of support has finally become obvious. I am pretty sure now that he stopped loving me years ago and just doesnt have the balls to say it to my face.