We’ve been down but we’ve never been out. Yeah, we are the Dark Horses
Part of me feels as though I am relapsing to a degree. Feelings of insecurity are more intense then what I feel I am used to. The whole school thing.. having to 'take a break'... is really hitting me harder then I am letting on out there in the real world. My in-laws do not even know I am having this issue.
On the job side, I am attempting to secure one of a phone-monkey at IBM. The pay is decent and they are always hiring because of high turn-over. Two shifts, I will most likely go for the later one because it ends at 9:30 'ish and for an extra dollar an hour, I don't mind. (Plus first shift starts at 5:30 am and.. well.. I like staying up until around that time.) Hopefully I will be successful in my applying there.
Last night I caught Ecamer blogging. Ok, no big deal. What I found funny was that he removed me from his Myspace, knowing I NEVER go onto the site.. so he could blog about me there. He has LJ.. we are not friends on here.. but he chose Myspace. I am slightly offended (because Myspace? Really?) but mostly amused.
Today I hang with Komos. I know what to do after the sun sets (i was thinking a star-light picnic on top of A-Mountain cause Nico said the fire energy is fantastic up there and doing an energy exchange with a satyr could be fun), but I am a bit hard-pressed to find something to do during the heat of the day. I'm thinking I will lounge around Vampy's place and coerce them into watching a disc of Supernatural. That way, I dont have to think of ways to entertain and I stay nice and cool while keeping my make-up in place. If not Supernatural.. I will paw through my dvds for alternatives. *nods*
Anything to keep my mind off the fact that "take-two" of college and I am a failure again. (Yes. It's bugging the shit out of me. Every-time I think about it, I have to fight tears.) And.. I guess the rest of my week will be spent cleaning and working on building my art site. (At least that portion of me is not suffering.. I have been sketching, manipulating, and crafting like crazy.)
*sigh*
There is a hole that I keep trying to fill and I keep failing.. and knowing I am going to fail, I still keep trying...
And people think I can't be a Sadist. I sometimes feel like I am the most sadistic person to myself. Yet masochistic all the same..
On the job side, I am attempting to secure one of a phone-monkey at IBM. The pay is decent and they are always hiring because of high turn-over. Two shifts, I will most likely go for the later one because it ends at 9:30 'ish and for an extra dollar an hour, I don't mind. (Plus first shift starts at 5:30 am and.. well.. I like staying up until around that time.) Hopefully I will be successful in my applying there.
Last night I caught Ecamer blogging. Ok, no big deal. What I found funny was that he removed me from his Myspace, knowing I NEVER go onto the site.. so he could blog about me there. He has LJ.. we are not friends on here.. but he chose Myspace. I am slightly offended (because Myspace? Really?) but mostly amused.
Today I hang with Komos. I know what to do after the sun sets (i was thinking a star-light picnic on top of A-Mountain cause Nico said the fire energy is fantastic up there and doing an energy exchange with a satyr could be fun), but I am a bit hard-pressed to find something to do during the heat of the day. I'm thinking I will lounge around Vampy's place and coerce them into watching a disc of Supernatural. That way, I dont have to think of ways to entertain and I stay nice and cool while keeping my make-up in place. If not Supernatural.. I will paw through my dvds for alternatives. *nods*
Anything to keep my mind off the fact that "take-two" of college and I am a failure again. (Yes. It's bugging the shit out of me. Every-time I think about it, I have to fight tears.) And.. I guess the rest of my week will be spent cleaning and working on building my art site. (At least that portion of me is not suffering.. I have been sketching, manipulating, and crafting like crazy.)
*sigh*
There is a hole that I keep trying to fill and I keep failing.. and knowing I am going to fail, I still keep trying...
And people think I can't be a Sadist. I sometimes feel like I am the most sadistic person to myself. Yet masochistic all the same..