Dreams:
They are supposed to be metaphorical. Subtle hints on what is bothering you in your life. Flowing from one strange scenario to another leaving you wondering "WTF?!" when you wake.
They are NOT supposed to be the equivalent of someone pointing out the obvious and slapping you in the face.
My dreams last night consisted of consistently disappointing one person in my life after another. Arguments with Ecamer. Dealings with C being frustrated with me. Fights with the inlaws. Issues with my mother... I mean, jesus christ! There was no escape. I know what the hell is bugging me. Hell, my entire friends list knows, most of facebook knows, people close to me know. It's not like I am hiding anything. I write about it so I have a place to vent. So I don't do myself harm with my blades. (And trust me, the temptation is there. Always nagging me in the back of my head, the urge to feel physical pain, to see blood drawn, to have that release... It's a constant up hill battle. Those who know me well, should be proud of me for the amount of restraint I am showing when it comes to giving in.)
So needless to say, I was actually pleased when Seraphim awoke me by attacking my fuzzy socked toes despite only having 3 hours of sleep. I got online, answered emails, worked on projects, chatted with octopus_garden a bit and then went back to bed and lay awake lamenting my psyche.
I am going to look at trees today. Real ones. I am hoping to find one that my goofy cats will not be able to knock over easily. Should I fail in this, Kindergoth will be without a tree for the second year in a row. It doesnt matter though, I guess. She will be spending her Christmas with Ecamer at his parent's house anyway. As for me, I plan to skip town that morning, and come back when it's over and done.