Winding Up Another Year
It's already November.
This has been a year of many realizations for me.
Realizing who my friends are (and aren't).
Realizing my love of some sort of chaos in my life.
Realizing where I belong.
Realizing I was not forgotten.
Realizing I am somewhat talented.
Realizing that I am not as bad as a person as I thought.
Realizing that 'family' is not just blood-related.
Realizing I am smart.
Realizing I am strong.
Realizing that I am more secure in who I am and I don't need to be everything to everyone.
I am in the process of closing another chapter of my life. I'm tying the red ribbon and placing the wax seal because I am determined not to open it once again. Things are what they are. And some things, no matter how hard I try, are not meant to be changed. I'm not 'quitting'. But I am 'letting go'. Feeding the bits of hurt to the crows and watching them fly off, leaving me free.
I will always miss Vampy. I will always remember the fun times we had when we created glow-in-the-dark bubbles and caused chaos within the group of people who dramatize everything just because we were bored.
I will stop thinking about my mother and how to this day she lies so much to herself that she is beginning to believe it.
I will embrace the lifestyle I know I was meant to live even in my early 20's. Throwing myself into it mind, heart, and soul. It's where I belong. A second chance would not have presented itself were that not the case.
I will continue my work with the carnivals because it allows me the opportunity to travel to my heart's desire and meet people who could enrich my life one way or another (even if I just end up laughing at them and shaking my head).
This year, I have found that we shape our own destinies. Nothing is impossible. And if you want something bad enough, you can, indeed, achieve it. It is Not selfish to live the way you want nor is it selfish to get what you desire. It is only selfish to force your way of life and your desires onto someone who does not share your feelings.
I don't want to be selfish... but I don't want to be unhappy either. Life is to short for that.
{Written for therealljidol Season 7 Week 1}
This has been a year of many realizations for me.
Realizing who my friends are (and aren't).
Realizing my love of some sort of chaos in my life.
Realizing where I belong.
Realizing I was not forgotten.
Realizing I am somewhat talented.
Realizing that I am not as bad as a person as I thought.
Realizing that 'family' is not just blood-related.
Realizing I am smart.
Realizing I am strong.
Realizing that I am more secure in who I am and I don't need to be everything to everyone.
I am in the process of closing another chapter of my life. I'm tying the red ribbon and placing the wax seal because I am determined not to open it once again. Things are what they are. And some things, no matter how hard I try, are not meant to be changed. I'm not 'quitting'. But I am 'letting go'. Feeding the bits of hurt to the crows and watching them fly off, leaving me free.
I will always miss Vampy. I will always remember the fun times we had when we created glow-in-the-dark bubbles and caused chaos within the group of people who dramatize everything just because we were bored.
I will stop thinking about my mother and how to this day she lies so much to herself that she is beginning to believe it.
I will embrace the lifestyle I know I was meant to live even in my early 20's. Throwing myself into it mind, heart, and soul. It's where I belong. A second chance would not have presented itself were that not the case.
I will continue my work with the carnivals because it allows me the opportunity to travel to my heart's desire and meet people who could enrich my life one way or another (even if I just end up laughing at them and shaking my head).
This year, I have found that we shape our own destinies. Nothing is impossible. And if you want something bad enough, you can, indeed, achieve it. It is Not selfish to live the way you want nor is it selfish to get what you desire. It is only selfish to force your way of life and your desires onto someone who does not share your feelings.
I don't want to be selfish... but I don't want to be unhappy either. Life is to short for that.
{Written for therealljidol Season 7 Week 1}